Sleep training a baby teaches your baby how to fall asleep on their own so they can sleep through the night or take longer naps. And, sleep training can be the source of many questions. One of the most pressing questions is ‘What is the best sleep training method for my baby?’ This post will cover the 5 most common baby sleep training methods and other essential tips based on my 10+ years of experience as a sleep consultant.
What Is Sleep Training?
Sleep training is teaching your baby to fall asleep on their own and learn to self-soothe. Once a baby knows how to fall asleep on their own, babies can learn to fall back to sleep on their own when they wake up in the night. We all wake between sleep cycles but it’s important for your baby to know how to get into another sleep cycle. Keep in mind that when you are sleep training, you aren’t necessarily also night-weaning depending on the age of your baby. More on that below.
Do You Have to Let Your Baby Cry It Out When Sleep Training?
One common misconception about sleep training babies (also called sleep coaching) is that there’s only one way to do it. But this could not be further from the truth! In reality, there are a number of ways parents can work to help their babies develop healthy sleep habits, stop waking up in the middle of the night, and stop taking short naps. The idea is to get your baby to fall asleep on their own and self-soothe. Some sleep training methods and techniques involve crying, but others involve little to no tears and can be very gentle. Sleep coaching is NOT bad for babies. It simply helps your baby learn to sleep more independently. Of course, they are babies, so they will need you at least some of the time! The key is to have realistic expectations given their current age.
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What Is The Best Age For Sleep Training? When Should You Start?
The best age for sleep training is usually around 4 to 6 months old when your baby is ready to be unswaddled but before they are standing up. It’s never too early or too late to start sleep coaching a baby, however. We work with parents with children of all ages every day. Each age has its own unique challenges as far as what your baby learns. When your baby is going through a sleep regression is one of the most challenging, though.
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Do I Have to Stop Feeding Baby at Night?
No, you do not have to stop feeding your baby at night when you start sleep coaching. Breastfeeding babies, for example, often still eat at least once at night until 6-12 months old, on average. Formula-fed babies typically can be night-weaned by 6 months old and, often, younger.
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Sleep Training Methods: 5 Most Common Explained
These are the 6 primary sleep training techniques though there are many variations for each:
- Fading (FIO)
- Pick-Up/Put-Down
- The Chair Method
- Controlled Crying/Ferber/Graduated Extinction
- Extinction/Cry-It-Out (CIO)
The Fading Sleep Coaching Method (FIO)
The Fading Method is a very gentle, no-tears/no-cry (or very little cry) method of sleep coaching where you “fade it out” (FIO). With the Fading method, you continue to help your baby fall asleep (by rocking or feeding to sleep, for instance). But, over time, you gradually do less and less of the ‘work’ to put your baby to sleep, and your baby does more and more. Eventually, your baby is falling asleep independently.
For instance, if you normally rock your baby completely to sleep, you may shorten the amount of time you rock each night until you are rocking for only a few minutes only as a part of the bedtime routine. This method requires quite a bit of patience on the parent’s part, in some cases, but it’s great for families who want to minimize crying as much as possible.
Q: What age for The Fading Method?
Our recommendation is any age over 6-8 weeks old. Since it’s a gentle method, you can try it with any age baby or toddler. And, you can go as fast or slow as you want for younger babies. That said, a mobile baby might be more difficult to keep still. However, it never hurts to try!
The Pick-Up-Put-Down Sleep Training Method (PUPD)
The Pick-Up-Put-Down Method is another gentle sleep training method. The PUPD method works just the way it sounds: when it’s time to sleep, and your baby is fussing or crying in the crib or bassinet, you pick them up and comfort them until they are calm and drowsy. Then, you put them back in their crib to sleep, repeating this cycle until your baby is finally asleep. Pick-Up-Put-Down is another method that requires quite a bit of patience, depending on your baby. And, unfortunately, it won’t work for every baby. Some babies find being picked up and put down over-stimulating, and they gradually become frustrated and worked up, instead of relaxed.
Q: What age for The Pick-Up/Put-Down Method?
Our recommendation is any baby over 6-8 weeks old. Since it’s a gentle method, you can try it with any age baby or toddler. That said, a baby who is getting heavy can hurt your back to pick them up over and over, of course! For some temperaments, this method makes them angry, though, and is more irritating and frustrating than comforting.
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The Chair Sleep Coaching Method
The Chair Method involves more tears than the previous two; however, you don’t leave your baby unattended in the room at all.
First, start by doing your bedtime routine and turn on the white noise. Then, put a chair very near the crib, bassinet, or bed. You will sit on the chair as your baby falls asleep.
The goal is not to help your child fall asleep, nor to help her calm down necessarily, depending on how you implement it. You are generally not supposed to give your child any attention. The reason you are in the chair is only to reassure them that you are there and have not left them alone. Each night you gradually move the chair further away from them until you are right outside the door until eventually, you no longer need the chair at all.
As you might suspect, this method can be very difficult, depending on temperament, and can take many days or weeks. It can be difficult to avoid engaging with your child and “watching them cry” is very difficult. Furthermore, it can be a little confusing to the child (particularly younger ones) when you don’t interact. However, with time and consistency, this can be a good option for parents who do not want to leave their child alone to cry but who haven’t had success with other methods, either.
There are variations to this method (such as Kim West’s Sleep Lady Shuffle) where you do tend to the baby periodically, verbally and/or physically, and then go back to your chair. As with many things, finding what works best for you and your child is key.
Q: What age for The Chair Method?
Our recommendation is over 3-6 months old, depending on how severe the sleep disruptions have been. Since it’s a gentler method, you can try it with just about any age baby or toddler. Of course, if your toddler is already in a bed of which he can get out, this might not be the easiest method to use.
Controlled Crying Sleep Training Method aka Check-And-Console aka The Ferber Method/Ferberizing aka Graduated Extinction
Controlled Crying, or Ferberizing, is considered a ‘crying’ method of sleep training. This technique includes allowing your baby to cry while checking on them periodically using set intervals.
The goal with The Ferber Method is to reassure your baby that you are nearby and to reassure yourself that they are okay. When you go to check on your baby, you are not “supposed” to pick them up nor engage them much, but simply reassure them using your voice and a loving pat for 2-3 minutes, on average.
With Controlled Crying Sleep Training Methods, the goal is NOT to help your baby fall asleep. That is what they are learning to do on their own! Instead, the idea is that they falls asleep on their own, in the same “environment” in which they will awaken periodically throughout the night. The knowledge of how to fall asleep on their own at bedtime will pave the way for them to go BACK to sleep throughout the night. Over time, you gradually increase the amount of time between your ‘checks’.
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- See a more detailed step-by-step explanation of this method here: The Ferber Method Explained
- How To Do Sleep Training at Nap Time
Q: What age for Controlled Crying or The Ferber Method?
Our recommendation is over 4-6 months old and up to approximately 18 months old, depending on the situation, but encourage most families to try a gentler method first. Older toddlers and preschoolers, we recommend one of our unique methods, especially used for toddlers.
The Extinction Sleep Training Method (aka ‘Cry It Out’ or CIO)
The Cry-It-Out Sleep Training Method, also known as Extinction, usually involves quite a bit of crying on your baby’s part for the first couple of nights. Some parents share that it tends to be less crying, overall, since you are ‘done’ faster (for many, but not all, people).
The way Cry It Out works is simple – you do your bedtime routine, put your baby to bed awake, and then leave the room without returning for checks. If your baby cries, you are not supposed to go in to check on her; instead, you let her ‘cry it out’ on her own. The thinking here is that if you allow your baby to cry for a period of time, but then go in and ‘rescue’ her, you have all but guaranteed that she will cry for that amount of time the next night because she will expect you to come and “rescue” her again.
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Q: What age for Cry It Out?
Honestly, in our personalized consultations, we try to avoid this method as much as possible. If you are going to use Cry It Out, we recommend your baby is at least 6 months old, but preferably 10 months or older, when we expect almost all babies to be able to get through the night without a feeding. It is not for the faint at heart if your baby has a persistent temperament. We find that laying a foundation in the beginning with other and gentler strategies and techniques can reduce crying even if this method is used in the end, however.
Q: Can you sleep train for naps?
Yes, and we highly recommend sleep training for naps since children take a nap until 3-4 years old, on average. Naps are generally harder than nights since the drive to sleep is weaker. However, some babies have the opposite issue. They are great nappers but wake up a lot at night! We typically recommend starting with the same sleep coaching method that worked at night but, occasionally, we have to use a different method if it doesn’t go well. Also, you may or may not want to work on nights and naps at the same time in the beginning. Consider working on nights for 4-7 nights before you add on naps. Nights do not have to be perfect before you start. Consistency is often the key to success!
Q: How Long Does Sleep Training Take?
While some babies will learn to sleep through the night in just 2-3 nights, we typically recommend expecting 1-3 weeks with some days being better than others. Tomorrow isn’t always better than today, unfortunately, but your consistency will pay off in the end!
Q: How Long Do You Let a Baby Cry It Out?
There isn’t a time limit with Cry It Out, in general, though some families make one based on their comfort level. Expect at least 45 minutes to an hour of crying as that is not uncommon. However, many easy-going babies will cry for 20 minutes or less. Your baby’s age and temperament will have a big influence on how long your baby cries. Hungry babies often cry longer so if you are night-weaning at the same time, you might hear more crying than average. That’s why we often break sleep coaching and night weaning into separate steps in our personalized consultations.
Which is the Best Sleep Training Method?
There is no right or wrong method of sleep training; it all comes down to your unique baby and your unique parenting style. What works well for some babies does not work well for others, so do not be surprised if the techniques your friends or family members recommend don’t work the same way for your baby. The bottom line is to choose a technique that you feel comfortable with, and that you think will work well with your baby’s temperament.
As a sleep consultant for over 10 years, I can tell you there are many variations to every sleep training method. For example, you can do a cross between The Chair Method and PUPD with great success and fewer tears! There are also ways of breaking each method into smaller baby steps, which we recommend very often in our Personalized Sleep Plans®. Find what feels tolerable (because, frankly, no one ‘likes’ to sleep train), more comfortable for you, and what seems the gentlest, yet effective, for your baby, depending on his or her temperament and personality.
No matter which method you choose, remember that you need to stick with it for at least one week (preferably two) before you decide it’s not working and give up. Some babies take a while to adjust to a new way of sleeping. And remember that, with ANY sleep coaching method, consistency is key! If you aren’t sure your baby is reacting “normally” that’s why we’re here. We’ve had experience with thousands of babies in our 10+ years. Reach out to us anytime!
Any other sleep training tips?
Yes, we have over 300 blog posts about helping your baby sleep better! Be sure to sign up for our FREE e-Book, 5 Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night! Once you join the list, we will send you sleep tips galore. Here is a 2-minute video we have with a few quick tips to get you started:
Sydney says
Hello!
My sweet 18 month old boy has never been a lengthy sleeper when alone. From day one, he’s loved to cuddle and would scream if left alone in his crib. He’s always been breastfed and never took a passy so I feel that he does tend to use me to soothe. I honestly am just lost on how to get him to sleep through the night. The longest stretch we’ve ever had is 9:30pm-2 am and after that he’s pretty much just wanting to nurse till we wake up at 7-8.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
He takes 1 – 2 naps a day usually but has been wanting to only take one long nap recently. We usually put him to sleep after bath time and he’ll sleep a 3-4 hour stint but then will refuse to go back in his crib for long. All he wants to do is nurse really quick and then go to sleep with me.
I really just need some guidance because he’s so terrified of his crib (from day one he HATED it) and I want to help him so badly get great sleep but I’m at a loss for what to do for a toddler who can’t self soothe easily!
Janelle Reid says
@Sydney, Thank you for writing and I am so sorry to hear you are struggling with your toddler’s sleep! We would love to help. It sounds like your son has some sleep associations that are keeping him from sleeping longer stretches so when he goes through a light sleep cycle, he wakes up and wants you there so he can go back to sleep again. You will want to slowly wean him from these sleep associations which can take some time, but is possible! Here is a link to an article about sleep associations: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/sleep-association/
You may find you want more support in this and we have an amazing team of sleep consultants that can help you with this where they would create a personalized plan based on your specific situation. If you’re interested and want to find our more you can email our Client Relations Team at [email protected] or you can view options on our website here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
The average age to transition to one nap is between 15-18 months so he sounds like he’s trying to do that, which is fine! The transition period can be tough, so here is another article that may help: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-naps-2/how-to-manage-baby-toddler-nap-transitions/
We hope you get some sleep soon! Thank you for using the Baby Sleep Site as a resource for sleep!
Sara says
Hi, I have a 4 1/2 month old who hasn’t been exactly the best sleeper (he actually is probably normal, but I had a pretty good sleeper for my first baby, so I’m all ?). When he was really small, I thought we were on a good track. He is a big boy and we had a few nights where he slept from 7p to 4a. That was short lived. Then he started waking up at midnight, then again at 4, which was still manageable. Now he gets up around 11, 12, 1, then 3, 6… it just kind of goes on… his naps are also only 40 minutes long. We have had naps here and there that are longer, but the norm is 40 minutes. I have been trying as much as possible to put him down at night while he is still awake, which he does pretty good, but some nights he falls asleep nursing. I guess my question is, at 4 1/2 months given his current sleep habits, is it possible by 6 months, his sleep could level out without having to do much sleep training? I’ve been going back and forth on it, but I’ve ultimately decided I want to wait until about 6 months before I get too serious about it.
Schedules tend to be a little crazy at our house. I work 2 days a week, and help out my mom on days she is off work, so I’m not usually home 3 – 4 days a week. I’m wondering if that is going to destroy all my hopes of his naps lengthening passed 40 minutes…?
Any input is greatly appreciated 🙂
Janelle Reid says
@Sara, Thank you for writing to us! I am sorry to hear you are struggling with your 4 1/2 month old’s sleep. It can be so tough juggling schedules when you have an older child, and working outside of the home. The issue you mentioned with the frequent wakings sounds like he has hit the 4 month sleep regression and now when he goes through lighter sleep cycles he is wakings up and likely has a sleep association that he needs recreated for him to get back to sleep. Here are articles on the 4 month regression and sleep associations:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/how-we-sleep/4-month-old-sleep-regression/
https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/sleep-association/
Some babies do level out in a few weeks after the regression hits, however many do not because as you will read, their sleep cycles have permanently changed so some babies need the help to learn how to fall asleep on their own. I also decided to wait until my son was 6 months to sleep train, I just wasn’t ready yet when he was 4 months.
Some babies can adjust to a more go with the flow schedule, but others cannot, hopefully your baby will do well and be flexible with a busier schedule. Here’s an article we have about that: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-naps-2/baby-nap-schedule-how-rigid/
I hope some of these resources help! If you find you need more help with his schedule, our sleep consultants are happy to help create a schedule and give you tips on how to manage a busy lifestyle – they help families in similar situations as you all the time! You can view the different options to work with our consultants on our site here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
I hope your son’s sleep levels out soon! Let us know how it turns out!
Leanne Marklew says
I am seriously at my whits end. My son is now 14 months old and since birth he has been a terrible sleeper, he did suffer from colic and reflux and used to scream blue murder day and night pretty much every hour, now he seems to be fine through the day hes happy and content but at night he is easily up 10 times or more, I have remained consistent with supper bath and unwinding before bed, he gets put in his cot awake and falls asleep for about 2 hours and then the fun begins, he cries and stirs every other hour, I’ve tried PUPD but he just gets into a rage and if i leave him to cry it out he goes on forever… I seriously need a half decent nights sleep even getting up 3 times would be bliss ? xx
Janelle Reid says
Oh @Leanne Marklew, I am so so sorry to hear you are struggling with so many wake ups and no solution after working with your son on sleep! I know how maddening that situation can be. That is great you have established a consistent routine for him before bed, keep at it! I don’t know his full daytime schedule, so here is a sample schedule for a toddler so you can compare and make sure he is getting enough sleep during the daytime hours: https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/toddler-schedule/ It is crazy how much daytime sleep plays into their nights so that is something to consider. I do think you would benefit working one-on-one with one of our sleep consultants so they can look into your son’s sleep history and help create a plan that will work for him since you’ve already put so much into it. You can view the packages online here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/ If you need help picking out a package, email our Client Relations Team and they can help – [email protected]
I do hope you see a change very soon. Let us know how it turns out, we are here to help!
katie says
I have a question- I have a baby who coslept from day one, but eventually he regressed to waking up almost every 45 minutes during the night. we decided to do some sleep training and he is now in his own bed. He seems happy to be there- he falls asleep almost instantly and sleeps 11 hours straight. I have been desperate for sleep/me time for months, and now that I have it I feel so sad. Do any of your parents/clients feel like this? I feel like I want to bring him back to our bed but I know that is kind of crazy and makes no sense. Just wanting to know if this is a common experience. Thanks!
Janelle Reid says
@Katie, thank you for stopping by the Baby Sleep Site! As a mom of 2, I can TOTALLY relate to how you feel! I find myself looking at pictures and talking about my babies non-stop when they are asleep. Now whenever either of my boys are sick or we are out for a while and they happen to fall asleep on me (it is so rare now) I treasure those special moments and cuddles. I think what you are experiencing is super common. I am glad though that your guy is sleeping in such long stretches and doing so well for you! It is definitely a bittersweet feeling and you are not alone! Thank you for commenting!
Ang says
I have a question. My LO goes down with a bottle for naps and for sleep. She has slept from 8:30-9:00pm until at least 5:00am since 5days old; up until recently. My question is: is the fact that she falls asleep eating hindering her sleep habits and why she won’t sleep longer?
Janelle Reid says
@Ang, thank you for stopping by the Baby Sleep Site! It sounds very likely that your daughter has a sleep association that is keeping her from sleeping in longer stretches. You will want to slowly teach her how to fall asleep without the bottle so that when she goes through a lighter sleep cycle she is able to soothe herself back to sleep and won’t need additional help from you. Here is an article with more information on sleep associations so you can understand her dependency on you: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/sleep-association/
I also want to mention that depending on the age of your baby, some wake ups may be normal, it really just depends on the frequency to determine if it is a sleep association or if she waking out of true hunger. Even though she’s been doing long stretches for you since a very early age, sometimes as babies get more mobile they end up burning more calories during the day and need to make them back up at night. Here is a link to our main page of sample schedules and you can click on the appropriate age of your baby to see a recommended schedule for her age: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-feeding-schedules/?utm_source=menu&utm_medium=schedules
I hope these articles help and that you start to get some longer stretches of sleep soon!
Mel says
I’ve tried the method from Susan Urban’s guide like Cory suggested and wanted to give you some feedback: it has worked exceptionally well for my daughter. The guide gave me step by step sweet instructions so I was sure I was doing it right! This guide was a life saver for my family! Thanks
Janelle Reid says
@Mel, That is great! Thank you so much for your comment and I am so glad to hear your family is getting your much needed and well deserved sleep. 🙂
Holli says
My 4 mo. old sleeps from 10:30/11:00 pm – 8:30/10:30 am with 1-2 feedings mixed in for a couple months now. However, I’m concerned because I’m lucky if I can get him down for two naps during the day and if I do, they usually only last 30 minutes. He’s been this way for at least a month now. He’s solely breastfed every 2 hours and is generally a pretty happy baby even with the little-to-no naps. Until the evening… he gets super cranky from lack of sleep I think.
Is the lack of naps and late bedtime unhealthy? I’ve never heard of a baby who goes to bed so late… I just don’t even know where to begin. He needs to nap more, nap longer, get on some kind of nap schedule, go down at night quicker/easier and probably earlier. how should these things be prioritized and what do I do to resolve all of them?! It seems impossible ? *sigh*
Danielle says
Hi Holli,
Thank you for using The Baby Sleep Site as a resource! I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with naps and your son’s schedule. It does sound overwhelming! What I’d encourage you to do is start with the schedule and work on getting a firm bedtime, wake time, and first nap of the day. Once those are on schedule, sleep will smooth out a bit, and it will be easier for you to see where exactly you should focus your efforts. It can be normal for a young baby to have a late bedtime, but around 4 months, bedtime should naturally start to move earlier. We have a sample 4 month-old schedule here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/4-month-old-schedule/
And an article on getting started on a schedule here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/4-month-5-month-baby-schedule/
All of the issues you mentioned are things we can help you work on in a personalized sleep consultation as well, so if you are feeling too overwhelmed to work on sleep yourself, we’ll help you develop a plan you can feel good about! Read more about our options here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
Best of luck with everything!
madi says
I’m at my wits end! My 5 month old is such a bad sleeper. Naps for 20 minutes during the day, has tto be picked up and rocked back to sleep for sometimes 40 minutes. I try to make sure he sleeps minimum an hour per nap but I’m spending my whole day rocking him to sleep as he gets tired so quickly because of all the times he wakes. Nights are horrible too. Takes 3 hours of rocking to get him to sleep, wakes up around 4 times a night.
The only way he will sleep is rocking. I’ve tried all the sleep training methods for over a week and all he does is scream until I rock him.
I don’t know what else I can do.
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Madi – Thank you for writing to us! I am sorry that nights and naps have become so difficult! You are NOT alone! This age can really be a tough one, and it sounds like your baby is having a tough time learning how to fall asleep on his own.
You will want to make sure that he’s on a good daytime schedule with a good bedtime as an overtired baby has a more difficult time staying asleep at night, and will wake more often. Here is a link to a sample schedule to use as a reference: https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/5-month-old-baby-schedule/
Consistency will really be key too, and you may need to stick with a method for longer than one week. Many times, it will take longer than one week for things to improve.
Since it sounds like you have been working on this on your own for quite a while, I believe that you could really benefit from one of our consultation packages, where we will work with you on a detailed and 100% personalized plan that you can commit to and feel good about. You can read about all of our sleep consultation packages here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/services
Hang in there Madi and let us know if you would like more assistance!
Cory says
I used PUPD method with both of my kids and it has worked extremely well! I can’t imagine that this method won’t work. I think the key is to do it right! I had great step by step instructions from Susan Urban’s ebook ‘how to teach a baby to fall asleep alone’. After a quick read I succeed after just a few days with both my kids. Excellent help!
Janelle Reid says
@Cory, Thank you for your comment! I am so glad you found a method that worked so well and so quickly for your children. 🙂
Brittany says
My little guy is 6 1/2 months old. He used to sleep wonderfully until recently, we put him down by 8:30, we’ve tried earlier but he just wakes up I guess he’s a natural late to bed baby. We will sleep great from then until midnight/2am then he’s up every 45-1 hour. I’m not sure if this is something that is trainable?
Janelle Reid says
@Brittany, Thank you for using the Baby Sleep Site as a resource for sleep! I remember when my babies were around that age struggling with a later bedtime too and we had to work at it to bring it to an earlier time. Some babies aren’t ready to be put on a more solid schedule until the 6 month range, so I would keep an eye on his schedule and see if you can make adjustments maybe in the coming weeks (or when you are ready). Here is a link to our sample schedules, and you can look at the 6 month or 7 month schedule and see which one makes the most sense for your baby since he is right in between: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-feeding-schedules/?utm_source=menu&utm_medium=schedules
For the frequent night wakings after his initial stretch, this is normal as well and will take some effort on your part but can certainly be trained. 🙂 It sounds like he is waking up between his sleep cycles and has a sleep association keeping him from sleeping longer stretches. You will want to gradually wean him from whatever those sleep associations are so he can learn to put himself back to sleep when he goes through those lighter sleep cycles. Here is an article on sleep associations: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/sleep-association/
I hope that helps and that he starts giving you some longer stretches soon! If the problem persists, we are here to help. Thanks again for stopping by!