Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.
Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.
Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.

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  1. Nita says

    I completely agree with Alison’s comment as I am a new mom as well. We have been trying to sleep train our 10 month old daughter for the last 2 weeks. And while she is sleeping a little better (2 to 3 hours verses 45 minutes to 1 hour), there seems to be so many factors to consider…teething, upset tummy, too hot/too cold. How can you tell if the cries are simply resistance cries verses an issue cry?

    • Emily DeJeu says

      @ Nita – You’re right, this is tough! If you feel concerned by your baby’s cry, it’s always a good idea to go into the room and check – check for any problems, check for signs of fever or discomfort, do a quick diaper check, etc. However, in the first week of sleep coaching (or maybe two weeks, for particularly persistent children), most crying at nap time and bedtime is going to be a protest at the changes you’re implementing. So while you should always feel free to check on your child, and to make sure that nothing is wrong, most fussing in the early days of sleep coaching has a lot to do with the changes you’re making. This is actually one of the benefits of sleep coaching, in my mind…when your child can fall asleep quickly and stay asleep, and there is no more fussing and crying at bedtime and nap time, then it’s way easier to decode your child’s crying, since there is very little exhausted or overtired crying.

      Hope this helps, Nita! Best of luck to you.

  2. Alison says

    I completely understand that consistency is HUGE. As a first time mom, there are so many things that I’m figuring out. I tried sleep training for two weeks and found it very distressing. It was good at first, but then went down hill. We are in the thick of teething and solid foods with my 8 month old. I felt SO bad hearing him cry wondering if his teeth were bothering him, if he had gas, or if he was too hot/cold, etc. How do you try to stay consistent when there are so many factors to consider? Can sleep training really work if there are so many developmental “hiccups” along the way? Any advice is welcome!

    • Emily DeJeu says

      @ Allison – great, great question! We generally recommend that when you come to a hiccup, you maintain a base level of consistency while also offering additional comfort as necessary. So, for example, if you were working on sleep coaching using a check and console method (you can read more about different method here:, during a bout of teething or a sleep regression, you may want to actually pick your little guy up during those checks, and spend a few minutes holding him close. This modification allows you to offer more soothing; during ‘normal’ checks, you would just comfort your son with your voice and by patting him while he’s in the crib.

      Of course, if you’ve suspended your efforts for now, it can’t hurt to wait until this regression has passed, and then pick up sleep coaching again around 10 or 11 months.

      Hope this helps, Alison! Best of luck to you 🙂

  3. Mae says

    Thanks, I needed this today. We’re on day three of no nursing to fall asleep. There is some progress 🙂

    • Emily DeJeu says

      @Mae – Glad we could help! 🙂 Thanks for sharing, and I’m so happy to hear that you’re making so progress on the sleep association with nursing. Keep up the great work!

  4. Cynthia says

    This makes perfect sense really! With kids, consistency is key in most things, including sleep!