Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.
Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.
Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.

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Reader Interactions


  1. Mariya says

    Hi, we’ve been doing sleep training for a week now for our 4m old (18lbs). In the night we went from 2-4 wakeups with nursing to me waking him up twice to dreamfeed & him not waking up on his own between 7:30pm and 5:30am. So great win! I put him down in the crib at 7:30pm after a bedtime routine and he goes to sleep within a minute with no crying.

    However, with naps progress was harder. A big win is he naps 2-3 times in his crib without any assistance. We used to take him in a stroller/ nurse / rock to sleep at naps before. However, at the beginning of each nap he still cries: sometimes 2-3min, but once in a while it’s back to 10min. He’d also cry a bit at 30min and 45min from the time he goes to sleep. Is that something that improves over time or is there something we’re doing wrong?

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says

      Hi @Mariya –
      Thank you for writing to us about your 4 month old! Congrats on making such great progress at night! That’s great! Naps can be tougher, so hang in there! Short naps are very common at this age, and crying for 2-3 minutes before a nap is common too! YOu may be able to adjust his schedule a bit to ensure that naps are offered at good times for him. here is a link to our free sample schedules for 4 month olds:
      Thanks again for writing Mariya! If you find that you need more help at any time, please contact us!

  2. Jessica says

    Hi – my 19 month old daughter has refused naps for about a week. I am trying Ferber to get her to nap again. I want to move her nap back from 11am to 12, but she wakes up at 6 and I think she’s too tired to wait. She goes to bed at about 6pm and passed out. I miss her nap time! Help!

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says

      Hi @Jessica!
      Thank you for writing to us, and sorry to hear that your toddler is refusing naps! This age can be a tough one for sleep – especially naps! I think your suspicions are correct, and that she may have a hard time waiting till 12pm to nap, if she is waking at 6am! Here’s our free sample schedule to use as a guide:
      This resource may be a really great one for you too:
      Thanks again for writing, and please contact us if you find that you need help with your daughter at any time!

  3. Jenny says

    We used sleep consultant lead controlled crying with my 11 month old who had woken every 1-2 hours since 4 months old and could only be settled by nursing back to sleep. Bedtime now is pretty great, he grumbles for 30 seconds then sleeps 17:30-5:30, occasionally waking in the night but we ignore him and within a few mins he’s back to sleep. Obviously the 5:30 thing isn’t ideal and we’d like to push it back to 18:30-6:30 but it is a push to get him to stay awake even til 5pm. He used to nap great when we napped together but now I put him to sleep alone in his cot he cries 10-20 mins and then naps for only 20-30 mins, mid morning and early afternoon. Our sleep consultant recommended a third nap late afternoon but he refuses. It’s been 3 weeks since we started the training now. How can we shift his bedtime back? How can I encourage longer naps? Will he always cry when I put him down to sleep?? 🙁

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says

      Hi @Jenny –
      Thanks for writing, and don’t give up on lengthening those short naps! Here’s a great article on our blog that might help with those naps:
      Once naps are a bit better, if he is still waking too early, you can consider shifting his schedule. This info should help if you need to!:
      We’re here to help if you’d like to work one on one with one of our expert consultants! We’ve helped many families who have tried different consulting services and find that they still need help.
      Please feel free to reach out to us for more info and hang in there Jenny!

  4. Melissa says

    If you don’t recommend cio for the 3 rd nap do I just rock her to sleep on the last nap lik I would have before the sleep training ? It’s my first day doing this and She survived the night now I’m just trying to get thru naps

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says

      Hi @Melissa – Thank you for writing to us, and congrats on getting through some nighttime sleep training! We wish you continued good luck with the naps too Melissa! Yes, if you choose to not do any CIO for the last nap of the day, you can help her get to sleep in the same manner as before the sleep training. This will ensure at least one good nap while you’re working on the other naps! Good luck and I hope that everything goes smoothly! If you’d ever like more help with sleep, please contact us for more info! : )

  5. Katharine Skipper-Horton says

    I’ve got a 7- month old little girl who is stubborn as anything. She is somewhat trained at night (still screams about 30 minutes each night after putting her down) but we consider that a win after a week of CIO. We are now wanting to try CIO for naps as she only naps on my chest (we think this is the reason for night screams). We tried yesterday but she screamed for an hour and then refuses to sleep. Any tips? Does the screaming get better?

    • Danielle says

      Hi Katherine,
      Thank you for visiting The Baby Sleep Site! I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling with nap coaching. This can be tough because babies are unique, and you may need a different method or a different schedule for your daughter depending on what’s going on at night, when she’s eating, etc. If you’re a Member, I’d definitely check out our Mastering Naps ebook and maybe check in with a sleep consultant on the weekly chat about the method you’re using. Hang in there, and good luck!

  6. Reagan says

    Just started nap training with controlled CIO (Ferber) when we ditched the pacifier. He will cry for a bit before falling asleep and will sleep for 20-30mins but once he wakes he doesn’t go back to sleep. I feel bad making him CIO for a second time when I know he’s no longer sufficiently tired after his short cat nap. Should I just hope and pray that as he gets used to falling asleep without the pacifier he will naturally put himself back to sleep when he wakes after that short sleep cycle or should I be letting him cry again to fall back to sleep for a designated amount of time..? (I.e. “crib hour” so if he wakes before an hour he has to stay In his crib for the entire hour)

    • Danielle says

      Hi Reagan,
      Thank you for writing! Unfortunately, without your baby’s age and a more detailed understanding of his schedule, it’s hard to know what to recommend. We do have an article on weaning the pacifier that I hope will help here:

      And if you’re a Member, please check out our weekly member chats, where you can write directly to a sleep consultant who can give you specific advice.

      Hang in there!

  7. Claire says

    We started sleep training with CIO for our 8.5 m/o just over a week ago. She was previously on a great schedule, sleeping through the night from 5 weeks to almost 7 months, and getting regular naps 2-3x’s a day. Suddenly at around 6.5 months, she started waking regularly through the night. We’ve indulged her for the last 2 months, but then had to stop for mommy’s sanity and rest at night. Hence sleep training. Within the last week, we have eliminated the night wings and feedings with just using CIO, but as soon as she started sleeping through the night her regular and sufficient naps COMPLETELY disappeared. She now cries at every single nap time attempt, despite solid wind down routine and sleep prop elimination, and cries for the FULL HOUR nonstop. She never winds down, she never falls asleep, and I’m left with an overtired baby on repeat all day until bedtime. In the last couple days, I have gotten her up at the hour time limit and fed her (because it was now feeding time on her schedule). She has a full breast each side, and then BAM – out like a light! But of course she’s now asleep in my lap, and wakes immediately when I shift to put her in her crib. She is so exhausted during the day, I don’t want to wake her, so she is currently sleeping on my lap – and thus disorganizing her schedule. I just want her to sleep at nap time!! What do I do??

    • Danielle says

      Hi Claire,
      Thank you for using The Baby Sleep Site as a resource. Congratulations on your success sleep coaching at night, but I’m so sorry to hear how naps are going! 🙁 Based on your message, it sounds like you either have a scheduling issue of some kind, and/or have unluckily bumped into the 8 month sleep regression:
      Because your baby’s problem seems pretty complex, I would strongly recommend talking with a sleep consultant directly. She can look at your schedule and feedings, your routine, and how nights are going and help you get naps back on track. You can read more about our consultations here:
      Or please do feel free to email us at [email protected] and we can help you find the right package for your situation. Hang in there!

  8. DM says

    Our daughter is almost 13 months old, has her own room since she was 8 months. So far, we always cuddled her to sleep and then put her on the bed once she is asleep on our chests.

    She sleeps through the night (20:30 til 06:30) and she used have have 2 good naps 1.5 hours each, so we kept using cuddle method instead of teaching her self-sooth to sleep.

    We came back from a 3-weeks holiday last week (+5 hours time difference) and our daughters nap routine has changed dramatically. She managed to resume her night routine after a couple of days, but she couldn’t do the same for her naps. She can still fall asleep easily on our chests during the day, but wakes up very easily crying when we try to put her on the bed. Even if we manage to put her on the bed without waking her up, she sleeps max 30-40 mins and wakes up crying again.

    It has been 10 days and still same routine every day. She ends up on our chests for the naps.

    What do you recommend in this kind of situations?

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says

      Hi @DM – Thanks for writing! Sorry that naps are so tough since traveling! Travel can disrupt even the best sleepers, and naps can be tough and trickier than night sleep! It sounds like she needs to learn/re-learn how to fall asleep on her own for naps, and this article should help:
      Good luck DM, and please contact us if you find that you need more help!

  9. Emely says

    I started to nap training after reading this article and just have few questions.

    My baby can fall asleep independently for naps with little to no fuss, however, he does not usually nap for longer than 30 minutes at a time and wakes up. He he will put himself back to sleep after 15-30 minutes of fussing and will sleep for an hour. Is that consider a good nap? When he wakes up after an hour should I let him try to go back to sleep? Most of the information suggests that baby should nap at least 2 hour per cycle.
    I keep his room dark, have white noise and keep a small nap routine and put him down at the same time.

    • Neosha says

      @Emely – Thank you for reading and for sharing. We’re so glad to hear that nap training has been going well for you all! It’s definitely great that your little guy puts himself back to sleep. Hopefully, with more practice, he’ll learn to sleep through those sleep cycles without waking. You don’t say how old he is but shorter naps are definitely more common for younger babies while an hour or more is considered “good” for an older baby. 2+ hours is “normal” depending on his specific sleep situation, but I don’t have those specific details at this time. Keep up the great job, Emely, and I hope this helps!