Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.
Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.
Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.

Reader Interactions


  1. Amy Hodapp says

    My almost 7 month old use to sleep through the night from age 2 months to 5 months. Maybe once a week, she would wake up once and go right back to sleep. At 5 months she starting waking up consistently 1-2 times a night…still not bad. The past 2-3 weeks she has been waking up consistently 4-8 times per night. This past week it’s been almost every hour. I am quickly loosing sleep and not able to to function in my full-time job that requires a lot of patience (full-time emotional support teacher to kids with severe mental health). I feel like I’m about to loose it. Any suggestions will be welcomes with open arms.

    • Janelle Reid says

      @Amy Hodapp, I am so sorry that you are suddenly struggling with your daughter’s sleep. We would love to help you get through this so you can fully enjoy your time with your family, and focusing on your kids at your job. First off, here is a link to a free guide with tips to help your baby sleep through the night that may help:
      If you need more help, considering the stress of your job and that you are experiencing such frequent waking from your daughter, I’d suggest working one-on-one with one of our sleep consultants. We offer many different levels of support in this process which you can read about here: services/
      If you have any questions about what package would be best, please let us know, you can email us directly at [email protected]
      Hang in there!!

  2. Kayla Lepage says

    Hello. My 14 month old has usually been a good sleeper but has never been able to go to bed completely awake. We usually rock her until she is drowsy and put her down and she would go to sleep no problem. Sleeps about 11-12 hours a night with 2 half an hour naps during the day.

    She got a cold and it messed with her sleep pattern and now it has been off for a couple month. It takem me almost an hour to get her down for naps and now she is waking up multiple times a night. Like full on screaming and standing up. We can’t seem to get her back on track and to even get it so we can put her in her crib fully awake and let her go down on her own.

    Any suggestions?

    • Janelle Reid says

      @Kayla Lepage, I’m so sorry to hear things have been challenging lately! It is so frustrating how a little cold can throw so many things off. You may be interested in downloading our free guide with tips that may help:
      If you are totally stuck and need more specific information, then I think the best option would be to work with a sleep consultant through one of our Personalized Consultation Packages which you can read more about here:
      Essentially, your sleep consultant would look at your daughter’s sleep history, age, the issues you’re experiencing and the goals you have and will create a step-by-step plan of action to get you on the other side of this. We also have lots of in-between options so if you have any questions or want to know what else we have available, please email us directly at [email protected]
      Hang in there and let us know if we can help more!

  3. Doris says

    I used Susan Ubran’s HWL methos, not even knowing put up put down exists! But know it seems pretty similar, still better I think. Guide in a nutshell – everything you need on just few pages.

  4. Kelly says

    Hi, my 3.5 month son has always been a bad sleeper. He normally only goes down at night from nursing and wakes up when put in the crib. It takes multiple attempts for him to stay asleep and he then wakes up multiple times throughout every night and needs to be nursed or rocked back to sleep. When put in the crib awake he cries heavily, like a painful sounding scream. I don’t know what to do since he will cry with all methods. Help!

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says

      Hi @Kelly –
      Thank you for writing to us. I’m sorry to hear your family is having sleep problems and your little one is struggling with sleeping on his own. We know how tough this can be, and you’re not alone! Since you have been working on this on your own, and are still struggling, it may be time to consider one on one help and support.
      I would recommend checking out our consultation packages here:
      There are essentially two types of packages: email only, and e-mail plus telephone support, and we have packages to fit every need and every budget.
      Our most popular package is our Deluxe E-mail Consultation Package; it provides a Personalized Sleep Plan (written just for your family given your specific history you share with your sleep consultant) plus three follow-up e-mail consultations.
      Sleep coaching on your own can be confusing and oh so tough! One of these options will give you the support and knowledge you need to get sleep on track!
      If you have any questions, or need any assistance at any time, please don’t hesitate to contact us!
      Good luck and hang in there!!

  5. Tania says

    I really really need help. I’m so so tired and with the amount going on at the moment my sons sleeping habits add to it.

    So for the last three months he has forgotten how to put himself back to sleep. He used to suck his thumb but stopped. Now ever time he wakes up he wants to breastfeed back to sleep. He won’t sleep at all without me breastfeeding him. Then once he is sleeping I have to pry my boob out of his mouth.

    His bedtime used to be 6pm because he is only napping once during the day. Somehow he just wont sleep until 9, which means I literally have no time to myself.

    Everytime he wakes up at night he needs to be breastfed back to sleep and during his nap he wakes up tired and wants to be held or breastfed back to sleep. I’m really struggling.

    My intention was to start sleep training him around 5-6 months but then we were plagued by housing issues, moving, more housing issues and it became near impossible.

    Now he isn’t sleep trained at all and I just feel like such an awful mother.

    Please please help me

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Tania, thank you for writing to us. I first want to mention that you are not an awful mother! Life happens, and so you are not to blame for not sleep training your son. We would love to help you though with your son’s sleep. You didn’t mention his age, so I did want to mention that we have sample schedules available on our site that you can look up for his appropriate age for you to get an idea of what a day should look like (and the times can certainly be adjusted a bit but it’s a good guideline). And here is a link to a free guide with tips to help your baby sleep through the night:
      It sounds like he’s got a sleep association, so be sure to pay attention to that part of the guide and it will help give you tips for overcoming that and teach him how to sleep on his own.
      If you need more specific help, please let us know! We have a ton of resources available. You can contact us directly anytime at [email protected]. Hang in there!

  6. Michelle says

    My 17 month old daughter has always had a pacifier during naps and nights. She usually sleeps 10 hours at night and one long 3 hour nap during the day. We decided to wean her from the pacifier this weekend, cold turkey, after gentler attempts did not work. At bedtime she cries for about 30-45 minutes before falling asleep, but it’s naptime that is an issue. Her first two days of naps she cried about an hour before falling asleep, but the last two days she cried for two hours when I put her down for a nap. We’ve used the CIO method, though a couple times we did go in after an hour and it seemed to make it worse for her. We thought we wouldn’t have to sleep train her, but now realize we were mistaken- the pacifier was just delaying the inevitable. Now we have a toddler who doesn’t know how to put herself to sleep. We don’t know what to do. The stuffed animal we gave her doesn’t seem to give her any comfort, and we don’t want to start another “lovey” addiction. How can we teach her to self soothe at this age?

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Michelle, thank you for writing to us. I am so sorry you are struggling with this – let me tell you that I can relate to this with my own son. It is challenging (but not impossible!) to sleep train toddlers when they have such a will. Here is a link to a free guide with toddler sleep help:
      If you find things continue and you need more help, let us know. I am confident our sleep consultants can help provide specific advise to get you through this. Here is a link to read more about your options if you are interested:
      Hang in there!

  7. Hannah says

    My son has always been a bad napper. As an infant / young baby, he’d maybe nap for 20-30 minutes on his own, but for up to 2 hours if he was being held.

    He’s 15+ months now and almost always wakes up after 30-45 minutes crying because he’s still tired. He’s almost fully transitioned to one nap a day.

    He’ll go back to sleep in someone’s arms and take a longer nap. His Dr wasn’t too concerned. Said this is his snuggle time.

    He puts himself to sleep at night and for his naps just fine. If he wakes in the middle of the night, he puts himself back to sleep just fine. Sleeps 10-11 hours. (Main reasons wht dr wasn’t concerned).

    He’s had a few magical 2-3 hour naps on his own, but those are rare. I don’t mind the snuggles, but baby #2 is due in December and I’d really like him to be able to nap well on his own by then.

    We do a shortened version of his bedtime routine before naps (have even tried the full version). I’ve tried putting pjs on him. Tried letting him nap with a blanket. We have the same white noise on for naps & bedtime. Room is as dark as possible and the house and street we live on are quiet.

    Today my back was killing me, so I tried the ferber method to sleep train when he woke from his nap (what we used for bedtime) and he ended up crying so hard he threw up :/

    Anything else I can try? Advice?


    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says

      Hi @Hannah – Thank you for writing! I am sorry that you are struggling with your son’s naps! Sorry to hear that he vomited when trying to work on naps today too. : ( I can definitely understand how tough that is.
      We do offer a free nap guide called, 7 Common Napping Mistakes. This may help maximize the possibility of him falling back to sleep. You can get this guide for free by entering your email address here:
      He may simply need more time and more practice to learn to fall back to sleep after he wakes from these short naps. The fact that he will fall back to sleep in your arms likely means that he does need/want to sleep longer! Naps can be tough to figure out sometimes!
      We can definitely help with this issue, and if you would like additional help, I do believe you could benefit from one of our Sleep Consultation packages, where we will work with you on a detailed naptime plan that you can commit to and feel good about.
      You can read about all of our sleep consultation packages and purchase directly online here:
      Good luck and please contact us if you have any questions!!

  8. Jessica Olenick says

    I have a 2 year old who needs me to hold her hand to go to sleep. She wakes up at least 2x per night. Sometimes won’t go back into her crib so she and I go to a spare room and sleep there.
    I’ve tried cry it out. Or scream it out for her, but I just don’t have the heart to keep it up. She could scream for hours.
    I used to be able to just go into her room and lie on the floor and she would go bts knowing I was there. But now it’s the hand holding.
    If I try to release her hand before she’s asleep she is hysterical.
    I’ve heard of the camping out and the “errand runs” methods but she won’t sleep without me right there.

    • Danielle says

      Hi Jessica,
      Thank you for your comment! I’m sorry to hear that you’re having so much trouble helping your toddler sleep independently. Since she’s having such strong reactions when you try to leave, and also because you report that other sleep training hasn’t worked for you, it sounds likely that there’s something going on in her day-to-day routine, eating or sleeping schedule that is contributing to the night waking and trouble going back to sleep. I would strongly recommend looking at our consultation packages, because then one of our sleep consultants could look at her history and routines and help you figure out what’s going on, and once the schedules and routines are addressed, help you find a gentler sleep coaching method to get you out of the room. We do work with intense children very often, and have great success.
      You can read more about our packages here:
      Or please feel free to send us an email at [email protected], so we can help you find the best fit for your family. Good luck!

  9. Gemma Holman says

    At what age are these techniques recommended? My 2nd child is 9 weeks old and I feel that he’s way to young for some like the chair one…my issue is he only tends to fall asleep on the boob or being rocked. Whilst my gut tells me this is natural and i dont mind it most of the tine coz he needs to feel save and secure…ita really tricky with my 1st (2 and half) thanks x

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Gemma Holman – congrats on your new baby! We typically recommend starting sleep training between 4-6 months, so your gut is right. 🙂 I know it can be super difficult with another toddler, so hang in there, I promise it gets better. Here is a free guide with tips to help soothe your newborn until you can get into the more formal sleep training stages:
      I hope this helps!

  10. Kayla says

    I came here just to say this is a great article and guide! We need more great info out here.

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says

      Hi @Kayla – Thank you for your comment! We are happy to hear that this was helpful for you! Keep reading! : )