Welcome to part 1 of my Baby / Toddler Night Terrors and Nightmares series where I will discuss the different types of night terrors and nightmares your baby or toddler can have, the age they start, the age they stop, the difference between the two and how you should handle each, because the way you handle each is different. We’ll kick off this series by discussing night terrors (aka sleep terrors).
Night Terrors – What are they?
Many people use the term night terrors to describe a lot of different behavior at night. Whether or not you believe in cry it out or its many variations, Ferber (where the term “ferberizing” comes from) is the director of The Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders in Boston, MA and clears up that there are things called “confusional events” (or partial wakings) and something else called “sleep terrors”. I will describe each of them so you will be able to know the difference. As always, I try to limit too much sleep science talk because it’s really technical (and pretty boring if you are not obsessed with sleep as much as I am), but if you are interested in more I highly recommend reading Ferber’s book who does a thorough job in explaining everything.
You might remember beginning around 4 months old, when we first fall asleep, it’s a transition into the deepest sleep of the whole night. This process takes approximately 30 minutes from bedtime for babies as they go into deep sleep faster than adults. The first sleep cycle lasts about 60 to 90 minutes and your baby (and you) will wake briefly as she transitions into the second sleep cycle, which is also deep sleep. The first few hours of sleep of the night is (supposed to be) the deepest. It is during this transition between sleep cycles that you wake briefly. You might roll over or you might pull the covers up over you. It is usually brief and you go right back to sleep. This is NORMAL to wake briefly. Sometimes, however, this process is not so smooth and not so quick and explains why your baby sometimes wakes up crying. Or, do they?
Confusional events typically happen within the first two sleep cycles or between 1 and 4 hours after bedtime. What happens is part of your mind is trying to go back to sleep and part of your mind is trying to wake up and they are both trying to win. There is a wide spectrum as to how that might play out. Your baby might moan, mumble, fuss, or move around for a few minutes and go right back to sleep. That would be a mild confusional event. This is when most people are sleep talking. People think this is when someone is dreaming, but in reality, this is during a NON-dream state. This explains why my husband doesn’t remember what I’m talking about when I tell him something he said the night before.
If the event is a bit more intense, your toddler might sleepwalk. She may walk up to you and seem to see right through you. Her eyes might be open, but she is still mostly asleep. Most kids won’t ever remember this happening. It could be a bit more pronounced such as a child jumping out of bed and moving around the room. She might seem upset or confused and may even say things like “No! Stop!” but not really appear too frightened. She might not recognize you and might push you away if you try to hug or touch her. It will likely be virtually impossible to either wake her or console her.
If your baby or toddler (or you) have a true night terror (or sleep terror), it will be more sudden than a confusional event that builds up gradually. Your child will do something like sit straight up in bed and let out a bloodcurdling scream. Her heart will beat fast and she might be very hot and sweaty. She will probably look very terrified and may be screaming things like “Stop!”, “No!”, “Help!” It usually lasts from 1 to 5 minutes and if she wakes at the end will probably not remember anything. It is rare, but some kids will jump out of bed and run around and “run away” from whatever appears to be chasing her. Again, this is very rare.
Night Terrors – Age they start and stop
Partial wakings and confusional events are normal and happen from birth. The “confusion” comes in when your body’s drive to sleep is met with your body’s drive to wake. An example is when you are asleep and you hear the baby crying. You get up, walk to her room and start to feed her before you are fully awake. You might not even remember how you got into the room. Part of your mind was awake and part of it was asleep. If you are confused, you might go in the bathroom instead of the baby’s room and then wonder what you’re doing up when you hear the baby crying and finally, your brain starts to wake up. From birth, there will be times during sleep transitions that your baby’s drive to sleep is being challenged by the drive to wake up and your baby might cry or fuss between sleep cycles. This is why it’s important to not interrupt the process of going back to sleep, if you can help it. We want the drive to sleep to win. But, just as an alarm clock is meant to wake you up fully, we, parents, wake our babies up by getting them up too soon, sometimes.
True night or sleep terrors most often happen to adolescents and preadolescents (so 10 to 18 years old), though younger kids might have similar events and of course, everyone is unique. The good thing is that most likely if your baby or toddler appears to be having a night terror, most likely it is a confusional event in which he is not truly frightened. And, in either case, they typically don’t remember either.
Night Terrors – How long they last
Confusional events and night terrors last from a few minutes to up to 40 minutes and typically not longer than that. These are NOT dreams and explains why your child won’t even remember them in the morning. It also explains why you may not be able to comfort him if he is crying or screaming. Night terrors are usually a shorter 1 to 5 minutes.
To recap, confusional events generally occur at the beginning of the night as your baby or toddler is coming out of deep sleep and transitioning into the next sleep cycle. He might roll over, moan, mumble, move around a bit, fuss / cry a bit and typically go right back to sleep. If he is having a more intense event, he might stand up in his crib, get out of bed and come into your room. A night terror, typically starting around 10 years old, will be much more intense beginning suddenly and ending within a few minutes.
Stay tuned for part 2 where I will explain what nightmares are, when they occur at night, what age they start and when they stop in babies and toddlers. If you haven’t already, you might want to sign up for one of our free guides, and you’ll also get free updates in your e-mail inbox, so you won’t miss a thing!
Part 2: Baby / Toddler Night Terrors and Nightmares
Becky says
My daughter is 18 months old and has been having some type of sleep disturbance off and on for the past 9 months. She lets out a squeak or two but then falls back asleep most of the time. But we’ve noticed that when her schedule is out of whack or she gets over-tired that it seems like she has night terrors. She lays in her crib crying, screaming and sometimes thrashing. I’ve learned that touching her makes it worse and prolongs the episode. What I have also learned is that I sit, not stand, by her crib and when she quiets down a bit I softly whisper to her “Mommy is right here, you’re ok”. But I DO NOT TOUCH HER! Her eyes are open and before I learned not to try to pick her up she would look “through” me or like she was scared and didn’t know me. It was probably more traumatizing for her father and I than it was for her. These episodes have decreased greatly with a strict sleep schedule being implemented. We had an episode tonight because we are adjusting the schedule as she has started daycare and is up earlier and she exerts herself much more both mentally and physically through the day now. I feel like I have learned to “manage” these episodes when they happen, but any tips on how to smooth this schedule transition and minimize these episodes would be helpful.
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Becky – Thank you for writing! it sounds like you’re doing everything that you can to minimize these nightmare or night terror episodes! The info you shared will so helpful for other families too! Thank you for sharing! Keep working at it as you have been, slowly adjusting the schedule for the new wake up time and taking into consideration that she may be more tired on daycare days. Hopefully things will smooth out as she adjusts to the new schedule, and do feel free to offer a bit of an earlier bedtime on those daycare days to combat the over-tiredness that can trigger these episodes. Good luck Becky!
Brittany says
My boy started this at 4 months . now 9 months .He goes to bed at 7 and sleep till 7 , He has had about 5 episodes to date , very random but always about 1 1/2 to 2 hrs after he goes to bed , let’s out a petrified screams in succession ,he won’t wake up , no tears this last a few minutes after some quiet reassurance he will awake seemingly unfazed by the event and returns to sleep for the rest of the night . These episodes are very random an other than the time I can not identify any cause . He Is being seen by a pedestrian in the next few days for this.
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Brittany – Thanks for writing! I am glad to hear that you are talking to your baby’s doctor about his night wakings and possible nightmares! We hope that these episodes fade away completely! : )
Savannah says
Hi everyone! So im sitting here now at 11:50 at night after my 2 year just had her worst night terror to date. Let me rewimd for a momemt though. She has had episodes before where i thought her screams and thrashing might be due to teething and or ear infection . So it wasnt until maybe two months ago that my mom and I thought maybe this was domething else . My mom came running upstairs one night to help me bc my daughter was screaming, and hitting me, thrashing her body all over. when i tried to pick her up it increased and her heart felt like it was pounding out of her chest . For a moment i thought omg she seems like she is in excruciating pain .. but I realized she wasn’t responding really except screaming and crying . This does not happen on a regular basis but enough to have me a bit concerned. Tonight was rough i felt helples watching her go through it and again of corse tried to oick her up to craddle her but she just repeatedly hit me and was throwing her body … i think its time for me to call the pediatrician.
Danielle says
Hi Savannah,
Thanks for using The Baby Sleep Site as a resource! I’m so sorry to hear you’re dealing with this intense reaction during sleep. We’d definitely recommend the pediatrician as a first stop, just to rule out any kind of medical concern. Some children do have very intense night movements and screaming if they’re interrupted during a sleep cycle, so what you’re experiencing can be normal, but it’s always good to check in. My daughter was actually like this, and we were able to reduce the night terrors a lot by making sure she wasn’t overheated at night, and keeping a close eye on her schedule – not enough sleep, or having a nap too close to bedtime, can both cause more nightmares.
Please hang in, and let us know if we can offer any more support!
K says
My baby is 20 weeks (she was born 3 weeks early). She was placed on the bed and when my husband adjusted the sheets underneath her, she immediately Started screaming/crying (a bloodcurdling scream that had the dogs going CRAZY). She wouldn’t wake/be consoled and didn’t even take a breath for about 30 seconds. We undressed her to see if something was cutting off circulation, etc. but didn’t find anything. She finally woke up and was still crying and shivering (she was still partially undressed and had goosebumps as well).
Danielle says
Hi K,
Thank you for visiting The Baby Sleep Site! I’m so sorry to hear you had such a difficult experience recently. It is extremely rare for a child under about 18 months to experience nightmares, unless there has been a significant trauma. If you notice that she’s doing it often, please check in with your pediatrician to rule out any possible health issues. That said, sometimes some babies do scream very dramatically if they’re interrupted unexpectedly during sleep, and it can seem very scary, but be normal. It will depend on your baby’s personality 🙂 I hope this helps, and good luck!
Val says
My son is only 5 months old. He used to be a good sleeper (1-2 wake ups for feeding), but now he wakes every 1-3 hours. At home and at daycare, he has been crying in his sleep: when we pick him up, he doesn’t wake easily but continues crying.
Once he wakes, he is his normal happy self, but it is hard to wake him. If we let him cry it out, sometimes it lasts for only 5 min, but usually much longer. Sometimes I change his diaper just to wake him out of the state.
Is this a confused state/night terrors? 4 month regression?
Janelle Reid says
Hi @Val, thanks for visiting the Baby Sleep Site! I’m so sorry to hear your little guy has been waking up more recently and seems to be particularly upset in his sleep. Without a full sleep history with all the nitty gritty of what’s happening, it’s hard to say for sure, but it’s likely that it could be the 4 month regression or some other developmental leap that’s disturbing his sleep. At 5 months we don’t expect sleeping through the night with no feedings (some babies can, just know that’s not the standard) so here is a link to a free guide that will give you tips to help your baby sleep through the night: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-through-night-free-ebook/
Hopefully this guide will give you some tips on how to handle these wake ups but if you need any more help or want someone to weigh in to exactly what may be happening, I’d highly recommend working with one of our sleep consultants and they would love to help you through this should you need. For information on our options to work with a consultant you can visit our website here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
If you have any questions about anything else, please let us know. Hang in there!
Thuli says
My baby is almost 4 months old. He just started sleeping throughout the night. He just took his midday nap, but he starting crying hard during his sleep. I have reassured him that he wasn’t alone and he became better. I’ve never heard him cry like this before. Was he having a nightmare? Was he afraid of something? He’s currently sleeping on my chest now and he seems to have calmed down. But I am scared. This is my first baby.
Neosha says
@Thuli – Thank you for reading and for sharing. We know how terrifying hearing “that cry” come from your baby can be – we’ve all been there and understand! Sometimes, babies do that for no reason at all or for a number of reasons such as being too tired when they fell asleep, super stimulated before sleep, brain activity, etc. If it’d be helpful for your reassurance, you should run this by his healthcare provider to be sure there’s no medical explanation perhaps or especially it becomes a continuous behavior versus just a one-time thing. You should also know that around 4 months old many babies go through a sleep regression triggered by a surge of growth and brain development that begins to disrupt their nap/nighttime sleep in a big way. You can read more about that here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-regression-2/4-month-sleep-regression-checklist/ Hang in there, Thuli, and please let us know if we can be of any further help.
Karin says
Our little boy is 13 months old and has had a couple instances (starting at 7 months) where he goes from a deep sleep into a very intense cry/scream. I go to his room and he seems limp (as I pick him up) and his arms are floppy. He won’t be consoled and pushes me away. Is this a confusional event or a terror? It has always been in the earlier hours of sleep at night.
Danielle says
Hi Karin,
Thanks for using The Baby Sleep Site as a resource. I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with this intense screaming – it sounds very scary. Some babies do scream intensely occasionally when transitioning between light and deep sleep, especially if they are overtired or there is a scheduling issue. However, there are also some significant medical issues that can cause trouble like this, and because nightmares are relatively rare in babies under 2 years-old (who haven’t experienced a significant trauma), I would encourage you to talk to your pediatrician just to rule out a medical cause. Good luck!
Jenny says
My son is 26 months old and has had these “episodes ” a few times…. even as an infant. He suddenly starts screaming within 4 hours of going to bed. I wait a few minutes to see if it stops but he escalates. Last night he woke screaming at 11:15. Consoling him in his crib his screams became more intense. I picked him up and sat in his room on my lap and for the next 2 hours he screamed, cried, thrashed about, pushed me away when i tried to rub his back or offer water when asked for. A lot of his screams were a scared sounding “dada dada dada”. Finally got him to settle by sitting with him on the floor so he could pet the kitty. Back in his room in the chair he seemed to be sleeping so i tried to put him in his crib. Once crib side he’d stiffen and start crying dada dada again. Finally at 2am i was successfully able to lay him in his crib for the remainder of the night.
If this isn’t night terrors, what’s happening? Is there a name for it?
Help is much appreciated!
Danielle says
Hi Jenny,
Thank you for using The Baby Sleep Site as a resource! I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been having this trouble with a big sleep disruption at night! If this was happening when your son was an infant, then it likely isn’t a night terror, since we very rarely see those with babies under 2 years-old, who has not undergone significant trauma. There are occasional medical issues that can cause this type of issue, so please check in with a pediatrician if you haven’t yet. If your son is healthy, the most likely cause is actually a scheduling issue, if you can believe it – some intense personalities can react this way to a transition between light and deep sleep, if they are overtired. We have an article on what overtiredness can look like here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/overtired-baby/
And we have a sample toddler schedule here (at 26 months, we would expect to see 1 nap): https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/toddler-schedule/
I hope this helps – best of luck!
Lane arndt says
Hi there. I hope you’re managing. Your the first person who had described the episodes as similarly to our experience as this!
Our Confusionl Events were epic, two hour things, glazed eyes, scanning for me, dadada, thrashing back away from our embrace.
So brutal!
One thing I would suggest is when it happens, turn all noise machines down but not off, avoid light, try not to comfort, just use your physicality to demonstrate support and here and there the shhhhhhhh-hhhhhh will work.
When your lo has calmed down, sit with them for another 30+ minutes to get them fully out of that space, then attempt to gently place them back in the crib.
We started adding lavender to his bath water and he hasn’t had an event since. Not to say anything about its efficacy, but it’s working for us. Epsom Salts and Lavender essential oils mixed together and applied to bathwater while running.
Good luck!!
Ashleigh says
I don’t know what my 8 month old is having but for like the past two weeks I will hear her scream ( just one scream) and when I go to check on her she is sound asleep.
Janelle Reid says
Hi @Ashleigh, thanks for writing to us! I am not sure what that could be either, maybe just a little sleep talking and since she’s so young it comes across as being scared or in distress somehow since she doesn’t have many language skills yet. I’m glad she is able to settle right away though. Thanks for visiting the Baby Sleep Site!
Lissa says
My son is 13 months. He was sleeping through the night. This last week he is randomly waking up within 2 to 4 hours of falling asleep screaming. He refuses to go back to sleep unless im holding him. He will not let me put him back in bed. Any help is appreciated.
Neosha says
@Lissa – Thank you for reading and for sharing. How exhausting this must be for both of you! Night waking at this age can be due to a number of issues – schedule, development, home change, care provider change, anxiety, diet, etc – so we wouldn’t be able to pinpoint any one thing without having much more information about your little guy. If you haven’t started keeping a log of your little guy’s sleep habits and what’s happening during the day and how he sleeps, perhaps consider trying it out for a week or two. If you’d like to connect with one of our expert sleep consultants, she’ll be able to walk you through this process and get you guys on track to better sleep. You can read more about our lovely ladies here:https://www.babysleepsite.com/about Hang in there, Lissa!