If you’ve followed this blog for a while, you’re likely no stranger to the concept of sleep regressions. You’ve probably experienced them first-hand, right? 😉 If you’re new here, however, let us fill you in. A sleep regression refers to a period of time when a baby or toddler who’s been sleeping well suddenly begins waking at night and during naptime or even refusing to go to sleep at all.
There are several distinct regression phases that most babies and toddlers experience: one at 4 months, another at 8, 9, or 10 months, a third around 18 months, and (as if three weren’t enough!) a final one around 2 years. This article will focus on some of the challenges surrounding your 2 year old’s sleep, including elements that are part of the 2 year sleep regression.
5 Facts About Your 2 Year Old’s Sleep
1: Your 2 year old’s awake time is longer.
As your toddler grows, she needs progressively less sleep than she did as an infant. Most 2 year olds need approximately 12 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period, on average; compare that to a newborn’s need for about 16 hours of sleep! And of course, most of your toddler’s sleep is happening at night now. You may also find that your 2 year old is showing more resistance to bedtime than usual, and that she’s falling asleep late. Or, she may be waking too early. All this adds up to equal less downtime (and maybe less sleep!) for you.
Nicole’s note:
“We start getting a lot of e-mails around this time of year that toddlers are beginning to “fight bedtime.” Here in the States, when we are approaching summer, it stays light later and this can directly influence your toddler’s internal clock. Nights may get shorter, but this is temporary! She may truly be unable to fall asleep at an earlier time.”
2: Your 2 year old’s separation anxiety may resurface around this time.
Separation anxiety peaks around 18 months, but it can appear off and on until your child is 5 or 6 (or maybe even after! Yikes!!) At age 2, separation anxiety can be based on actual fear; your 2 year old may be afraid to be left alone, or with people he doesn’t know. However, it can also come from a desire not to miss out on the fun! By now, your 2 year old knows that when you leave, you don’t just disappear. Instead, he knows that you’re off somewhere not far away, having (in his mind, at least) tons of fun without him. Understandably, he doesn’t want to be left out! If this separation anxiety surfaces as soon as you walk out the door during naptime and/or bedtime, it can disrupt your toddler’s sleep.
Nicole’s note:
“Many parents report they have to, all of a sudden, stay with their 2 year old as she falls asleep at nap and bedtime. This is SO common!”
3: Your 2 year old may suddenly stop napping.
Around 2 years of age, some toddlers abruptly stop taking an afternoon nap. You might find that when you put your 2 year old down for her nap, she spends the entire hour talking/laughing/singing/playing. Or, you may find that your 2 year old’s nap resistance isn’t nearly so pleasant — she may spend the whole hour screaming! As with separation anxiety, this sudden resistance to naps can come from your 2 year old’s desire not to miss out on anything. It can also be the result of her growing self-awareness and independence — she’s becoming more aware of what she wants, so if she doesn’t want to lie down for a nap, she’s going to let you know it!
We advise parents to treat this sudden naptime resistance as a regression, and not as something permanent. Most children won’t completely give up their naps until 3 or 4. It’s best to simply stay consistent with your 2 year old’s schedule and routine, and to not give up on the nap just yet.
Nicole’s note:
“All 2 year olds are different, of course. We, personally, had to stop allowing a nap around 2 1/2, because my son’s awake time approached 7 hours after nap and waking up at 3pm…well you can do the math. It was after my bedtime!”
4: Your 2 year old may be going through some transitions that disrupt sleep.
There are a few common transitions your 2 year old may be experiencing:
- Moving to a big boy / big girl bed: Although more children make this transition closer to age 3, some toddlers make this step at age 2. This new sleeping arrangement can make it harder for your 2 year old to sleep well at night and for naps, since the new bed is unfamiliar. You may also find your 2 year old taking advantage of his new-found freedom and getting out of bed often. This happens even when you’ve told him again and again to stay put! (A side note: Whether you do it age 2 or wait a bit longer, when the time does come to make the move to a big kid bed, we recommend that you toddler proof your toddler’s room carefully.)
- Potty training: Again, most children aren’t potty trained until age 3 (or even later.) But some parents begin the potty training process around age 2. If your 2 year old is in the midst of potty training, you may find her waking from sleep and needing to use the potty. Even those 2 year olds who haven’t begun potty training yet are becoming more aware of their bodily functions. It’s not uncommon for toddlers this age to wake early in the morning from a full bladder or needing to poop. And by age 2, most children are much more aware of the uncomfortable feeling that a full diaper causes.
- New sibling: Of course, this doesn’t apply to all 2 year olds, but around age 2, some children are preparing for or adjusting to having a new brother or sister around. This is a huge change for toddlers, and (as with all major changes) it can cause lots of anxiety for them. Couple that with the fact that the new baby is likely causing some anxiety for you, too (as you work to juggle multiple schedules) This can mean that no one is getting much sleep!
Nicole’s note:
“We potty trained around 2 1/2 with both boys (which was late for one and a good age for the other). You might remember my article about potty training my second son, here: 6 ways Potty Training is Like Sleep Training.”
5: Your 2 year old may begin having nighttime fears.
By age 2, your toddler is becoming much more imaginative. This makes for really fun and entertaining play, but boy, can it ever be a problem at night! Most 2 year olds’ nighttime fears are triggered by the dark, and all the things that come with it — spooky shadows, monsters lurking under the bed, etc. By this age, toddlers are growing more aware of the world and realizing that there are “bad guys” and things out there that can hurt them. These new nighttime fears can lead to things like nightmares, and even night terrors.
Nicole’s note:
“My eldest (who inspired this blog) began to be afraid of dinosaurs, no matter how many times I tried to define the word ‘extinct’. 🙂 These aren’t always rational fears to us adults, but very real to them, so be patient and empathetic.”
As with any regression or phase, the best thing to do when you encounter these problems is to cope as best you can. Work hard to stay consistent, and try to remind yourself that it won’t last forever. 🙂 Keep in mind, too, that you don’t want your toddler to form any bad habits while you’re working on getting through the 2 year sleep regression, so let that guide your decisions about how you’re going to cope. As Nicole always says, “You don’t want to make or continue long-term habits for a short-term phase.”
Finally, if you’re doing your best to cope with your 2 year old’s terrible sleep but are finding yourself at the end of your rope, consider contacting us. We have the products and services you need to get your 2 year old sleeping well again.
Want FREE sleep help that you can put to use right away? Download a copy of our free guide, Toddler Sleep Secrets! The guide is available to download instantly, which means you can start using the techniques in it as early as tonight. So download now, and learn why your toddler is waking at night and resisting naps – and what you can do about it.
May says
Hi,
We took my son to California in October (he was 22 months old and we live in the UK) before we went he has always slept through the night going to be 7pm waking around 6am. He has never been a bother setteling to sleep.
Since coming home his sleep seems to get worse every week, he will go to sleep with out us having to settle him but every night is like roulette. We was able to get him back to sleep with a milk but that no longer works. He gets out of bed at random times and stands at his door screaming and crying for hours. I have tried sleeping in there with him, putting him back to bed, letting him cry it out. At one stage after crying for a while he would fall asleep on the floor next to the door. But not that no longer works, tonight it’s been two hours of a battle with him and he seems like sleep isn’t an option.
We make sure we follow a routine like you guide, he has a lunch time nap and a filling dinner at 5:30 bed at 7pm.
Please can you give me some advise? It’s been 4 months now and I’m exhausted from it all.
Thanks
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @May – Thank you for writing us! I’m SO sorry to hear your son is having so much trouble sleeping. You’re not alone! Traveling can disrupt even the best of sleepers! Now that it has been 4 months, I can certainly understand that you must be more than EXHAUSTED at this point! With toddlers, it’s all about setting limits and being consistent, which it sounds like you have been trying to do for all of these months. Toddler sleep can be tricky too, and I would recommend getting one on one help from one of our sleep consultants.She will work closely with you on a detailed plan – one that you can commit to and feel good about.
If things do not smooth out soon, and you would like more help, please read about all of our sleep consultation packages here:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/services/
Hang in there May! And contact us if you have any questions!
April says
Baby sleep genius app works really good. It’s a purple icon with zzz on it.
Andrew says
Hey there,
So I’m sure this is a familiar story, but here it goes. Our boy slept like a champ until 2.5 years, when baby sister came along. After 2 weeks of her being in the house and increasing methods of acting out, he now screams at the top of his lungs for over 2 hours, will not go to sleep without one of us in the room and even then that’s more miss than hit. Normal bed time: 7, current acting out time: between 9 and 10
This is then followed up by several wake ups through the night that require us to go in and assist with calming. Finally, he has been waking up in the morning and yelling for us to go in… At 4. Ready for the day.
This is really hard. After several weeks of increasing acting out and no sleep from our new baby, we’re at wits end. Patience are at a premium… Them he decides to make sleep impossible. We were worried about the baby being a problem with our sleep but it’s him.
The problem is we continue to try various methods… But it just gets worse each night. Screaming is later. Wake up is more frequent and earlier rise. We’ve taken him back to bed (with his protest) up to 75 times both night and morning, we’ve attempted to stay in his room, we’ve yelled, we’ve tried sleeping on his floor. Not a single thing helps realize any progress.
… Any suggestions? 🙂 Thanks!
Janelle Reid says
@Andrew, I am so so sorry to hear you have been struggling so much with your son’s sleep since baby sister arrived. It sounds like you have tried a ton of things, and so my suggestion is that you consider working with a professional sleep consulting team. The reason I think this is your best option is because 1. You guys are so tired and they can take the guess work out of it for you, and 2. It is just nice to have a plan from someone who’s walked tons of families through very similar situations. Our sleep consulting team will look at your sons sleep history and any extra information you give them – you can name all you’ve tried and what doesn’t work, and they can help you create a plan of action and will walk through this with you to the end. Here is a link to information about our consulting packages: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
If you have questions about which one would be best, please email us directly at [email protected] and we can suggest the appropriate package for your situation. Hang in there!
S Ros says
My 2 year old is sleeping more or less 12 hours a night with occasional nightwaking. She naps for 2 hours during the day. I’ve Ben putting her to bed at 8pm as always but now she isn’t falling asleep. She doesn’t cry or resist bedtime. She’s quiet for about 30-45 minutes and then suddenly i’ll hear her talking or singing. She doesn’t cry for me or call me. Is this a sleep regression or is she just not tired enough to sleep?
S Ros says
Forgot to mention sometimes she will be awake for about 1.5-2 hours! Most of the time without fussing but sometimes she will cry or call me to come in her room.
Janelle Reid says
Hi @S Ros, thanks for visiting the Baby Sleep Site and sharing what’s been going on. I’m sorry that’s been happening to you recently. It certainly could be the 2 year regression and so it may pass on it’s own. That is good she seems happy at least and isn’t screaming at you for 2 hours! Here is a link to a sample schedule for a toddler (you’ll just scroll down to see the 1 nap option as “toddler” is a fairly large category with lots of nap and sleep need changes) that’s been helpful for me recently having a 2 year old myself: https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/toddler-schedule/
You’ll want to check out the information in the article before the schedule about the sleep needs at a given age as well. Hopefully you don’t need to change anything and she starts settling for you again soon. Keep us posted on how things turn out and let us know if you need anything else!
Leanne Parsler says
Our 2 year old has just started being terrified of us leaving the room. Previous we were able to put him in bed and say good night and walk out no problem now he screams and tries jumping out of his cot. I am scared he is going to hurt himself. Me and my husband have tried several different things, cutting down afternoon nap, staying in room until falling asleep, going to bed later, sleeping on his bedroom floor. Once he has fallen asleep he wakes at least once in the night screaming. I am so worried as now we have a new baby on top of this all and myself and my husband just need help I am so scared this is going to last forever.
Janelle Reid says
@Leanne Parsler, I’m so sorry you are struggling! This is a challenging age and I’m sure your toddler is processing the big life changes of being a big brother now as well as normal 2 year old changes he is going through. I know it feels like it will never end, but there is definitely hope! Here is a link to download a free guide with tips with toddler sleep: https://www.babysleepsite.com/toddler-sleep-tips
If you find you need more help, especially with the stress of wanting this to be resolved since you are transitioning to taking care of 2 babies yourself, I would highly recommend working with our sleep consultants who can create a plan of action for your family and take the guesswork out of it for you. Here is a link to read more about those options: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
We also have lots of other ways to get helpful information if you don’t think you need the full on personalized help so feel free to email us at [email protected] and we can send you more information. Hang in there!
Margo says
Hello,
My daughter, who is 23 months, is a great night sleeper (she talks in her sleep) but never gets up unless something is wrong. She recently (4+ weeks ago) decided that she didn’t want to nap in the afternoon. By 4pm, she’s miserable and so tired. Nothing has changed at home. My partner has been travelling a lot, but otherwise everything is the same. She’ll go 7-10 day stretches in between naps . She goes to bed around 7pm and wakes up around 7:30-8am. Any tips?
Janelle Reid says
@Margo – I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been struggling with your daughters naps! I want to start off by saying that I can 100% relate to how you are feeling right now as my just turned 2 year old has been struggling with his naps as well. Hopefully this is just the 2 year regression and things will level out soon. I do want to link you to our sample schedule for a toddler as it’s been really helpful to me these last few weeks: https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/toddler-schedule/
There’s a line that stuck out to me “At 2 years old, the average amount of sleep drops to between 12 and 12 1/2 hours in 24 hours, including just one afternoon nap.” That’s been making me think my son has been resisting naps during the day because he’s getting all he needs in a 24 hour period at night. My firstborn was not like this so it’s new territory for me.
If things don’t resolve soon with your daughter’s naps, let us know! As you can tell just by her mood, most 2 year olds are not ready to drop the nap, but they sure do like fighting it for a time! We can help you walk through this should it continue or it just become too much for you while your partner is traveling a lot. Feel free to contact us directly to [email protected] and we can share our other nap resources we have available with you! Hang in there!
JC says
Hello,
Our 2 year old has slept through the night since she was 2 months old. Each regression has had its own small challenges, but nothing like this one. She gets out of bed and walks out of her room almost as soon as we close the door. Even when she is good and sleepy and has had a nice relaxing routine, she gets up and keeps doing so for hours. When she finally stays in bed after exhaustion, most likely, she sleeps until 3am or so and then starts again until morning. When she walks out, I walk her back to bed. Nothing works to keep her from doing it as we have tried leaving a dim light on, pitch black, doing a later bed time, etc. Her second molars are coming in, but she doesn’t fuss at all when she wakes up, she just wakes up and finds us. I haven’t slept in 2 or 3 weeks and I am purely exhausted. Does this sound like a sleep regression or a new normal for her sleep pattern. To sleep so perfectly to this was very abrupt.
Janelle Reid says
Hi @JC, thank you for writing to us, I’m so sorry to hear you are suddenly struggling with your 2 year old continually getting out of bed. This is a challenging age for kids as they are really looking to see where the boundaries are and have a big desire for independence. (I have a just turned 2 year old as well so I’m in the thick of it with you, it’s tough!) So what’s happening here may be a combination of things. If it is a new sleep pattern for her, or a regression, it is of course something you’ll want to fix and will be able to, it just may take time. Here is a link to a free guide you can download with tips to help you with toddler sleep challenges: https://www.babysleepsite.com/toddler-sleep-tips
If you need more help getting through this, let us know! We have a ton of resources for toddlers and have worked with many families with the same struggles. Please contact us directly if you’d like us to send over some more resources and options for additional help at [email protected]
Hang in there!
Jacqueline says
My 22 month old little guy, who previously was a great sleeper, is now waking up at least once during the night. Generally, if I go and put my hand on his back, he’ll fall right back to sleep. Other times, he’ll wake up an hour later calling for me again (rinse and repeat). He also has started waking up at 5:45 instead of his usual 6:30; however, if I bring him in for a morning snuggle with me, he’ll usually fall back asleep until his normal wake-up time (I fear I’m creating a bad habit here)
Janelle Reid says
Hi @Jacqueline, thanks for writing to us. I’m sorry you’ve suddenly been struggling with your toddler’s sleep! My son recently went through this as well so I know exactly how you’re feeling. Here is a link to a free guide with tips for toddler sleep that may help: https://www.babysleepsite.com/toddler-sleep-tips
Hopefully it is just a sleep regression and this will be a phase that passes in a couple of weeks and things will go back to normal. If things persist and you need help, let us know though as we have a ton of other resources that can help. Feel free to contact us directly at [email protected] and we’ll be happy to share with you what good next steps can be should you need it. Hang in there!
Jessica Ruthardt says
29 month old, always an awesome sleeper and at 27 months started night terrors. We finally found a pattern. Turns out when she napped she’d have terrors at night so we slowly cut back out and terrors stopped. She’s in bed asleep by 730 but wakes for the day around 6/615. Is it possible this truly is enough sleep for her? Some days she isn’t cranky by dinner and other days she is a little. Quiet time is always given.
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Jessica – Thank you for writing! It sounds like you have found the schedule that works for you and your daughter, and that is a good thing! There is a wide range of sleep needs, and it is possible your 2 year old little girl just does not need as much sleep as others. If she has a rest time, but does not fall asleep, she may be done with naps! If you are concerned that she needs a bit more sleep, you can always try an earlier bedtime and see if that helps!
Good luck and thanks again for visiting!
HJ says
Is it possible to come at 21 months? My little girl has been such a good sleeper but this last week started waking every 20 minutes for hours in the middle of the night and fighting her nap sometimes too. She also refuses Daddy! I wondered if it could be night fears because she doesn’t seem to be in pain with teething…
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hello @HJ! Thank you for writing! Yes, sleep regressions do not always follow the “rules,” and can come earlier or later than average! Waking every 20 minutes is very extreme! If you have ruled out any physical reasons for the wakings – such as an ear infection or other illness – you may want to work on calming her fears while also encouraging her to fall asleep and back to sleep on her own! We can help with this!
For DIY help, I would recommend that you consider our e-Book, The 5 Step System to Better Toddler Sleep. It is written specifically to help parents of toddlers with sleep issues such as you are experiencing.
You can find out more about this ebook here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/5-step-system-toddler
Good luck and hang in there HJ!