Babies need naps. Let’s be clear about that. Naps are not optional, naps are not “bonus” sleep sessions….naps are necessary for proper infant growth and development. That said – try telling that to your baby! Even the best nighttime sleeper can be a prizewinning “nap fighter”. Knowing your child needs naps, and doing all in your power to ensure that she gets them, doesn’t always mean that your child really WILL nap.
So why does your baby fight naps, and what can you do about it? Read on for tips!
4 Reasons Your Baby Fights Naps
- Your baby is overtired
- Your baby isn’t tired enough for sleep
- Your baby’s napping area isn’t “sleepy” enough
- Your baby is ready to drop a nap
This is hands-down the most common reason why your baby is fighting sleep. Simply put, a baby becomes overtired when you miss his “sleep window” (that moment when he’s drowsy enough to fall asleep fairly quickly, but not so tired that he’s begun crying) and put him down for a nap or for bed too late. It sounds odd, I know, but babies really can become too tired to fall asleep easily.
This is less common, but still a reality in some cases – especially for toddlers. If your baby is fighting sleep, rewind and think about how much wake time your child has had. While younger babies definitely need short wake times throughout the day, most toddlers are capable of much longer wake time. In our experience, a toddler who’s fighting sleep may very well not be tired enough to sleep.
Prime your baby for better nap sleep by ensuring that the napping area is nice and dim, and that you are blocking out any ambient noise that may wake your baby. Blackout blinds and white noise machines can really help to create a great napping environment.
Now this one isn’t a given, but some babies start fighting naps in particular if they are preparing to drop a nap. You may find that your child fights the last nap of the day (which can in turn affect other naps over the next several days). If you think your child may be ready to transition to fewer naps, check out this article about dealing with common nap transitions.
How To Help Your Nap-Fighting Baby Nap Peacefully
How you address your baby’s nap fighting depends entirely on WHY your baby is fighting naps, so be sure to use the reasons above to pin down exactly what’s causing this issue. Once you know the cause, utilize the following tips:
- If your child isn’t tired enough at napt ime, consider a new nap schedule. You may need to either adjust the timing of naps, or you may need to transition your child to fewer naps.
- If your child is overtired at naptime, consider moving bedtime earlier and adjusting the timing of naps. Additionally, you may need to add in a catnap during the day, particularly if your child is in the midst of a nap transition.
- If you’ve addressed every underlying cause of nap fighting, and your child still isn’t napping properly, then you you may have sleep associations to address. If that’s the case, then you’ll need to work on helping your child learn to fall asleep unassisted; in other words, you’ll need to sleep train. And we can certainly help with that! Scroll down to learn more.
Have a nap fighter on your hands? Scroll down to hare your story and ask questions – we’ll answer!
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Dyan says
I only have 1 baby and my experience is that there is no exact formula that will create a perfect sleeper/napper. I’ve spent hundreds on sleep programs, phone consultations with experts and every month there is always something different. What worked last month doesn’t work this month or what worked for past couple weeks doesn’t work this week. There is definitely a loose formula to go off of which is great but babies are not a trained pet or robot. Expectations definitely need to be managed when it comes to the whole baby sleep mystery. Just be prepared for battles frequently along the way even after sleep training and nap training. To be honest after sleep training my baby I had such high expectations and there are such tough wild cards days that I wish I didn’t sleep train or at least did a very gentle method (I did graduated extinction). Sometimes I feel like there are days where my baby looks at me and thinks “oh my god, it’s that witch again who is forcing me to sleep when just simply don’t want to.” She definitely knows how to independently fall asleep but … I don’t know. There is just something cold about our relationship. The secure attachment I longed to grow between us is just not there.
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Dyan –
Thanks for writing to us! I’m so sorry that your sleep training journey has not been a smooth one! You’re right that there is no one exact formula that will create a perfect sleeper! We sure wish there was! Some of us have tougher sleep journeys, and some babies experience a lot more sleep speedbumps than others! Try not to doubt your decisions and know that you were doing your best in every moment! Have confidence in knowing that you can work now to gently re-gain your connection while not letting sleep fall apart completely! It’s never too late! If you’d like our help at any time, please be in touch! We’ve helped many families that have struggled through numerous setbacks, have used other consultants, and that still need more help. We’ll always create a Plan just for you based on your goals and your parenting preferences! Hang in there Dyan!
Celina says
Hi, my 12weeks daughter naps fine (she can take 1.5h-2h naps each time) However, every time I put her down in her cot, she will start to cry out for few minutes, giving a sad face. She usually wakes up crying after her naps too. Is this normal? Will she ever outgrow this?
Thank you 🙂
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Celina – Thank you for writing! Sorry to hear that your little one is crying for a few minutes before sleep and waking up crying too! We know how tough this is on us parents! It is common for babies to cry for a minute or two before sleeping – it can be a way to quickly “unwind” before sleeping. Waking crying is something we hear about all the time too! This article can help you determine why and what you can do to help:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-quick-tips/baby-wakes-up-crying-why/
Good luck Celina, and contact us if you’d like more help at any time!!
Minmin Gu says
My almost 13 months old is transitioning to 1 nap now, and I used to put him to nap around 5 hrs after his wake up time, and he usually is so tired and falls asleep immediately, sometimes too soon for me to put him down. But starting yesterday, I asked my husband to take him to nap, and he started screaming and kicking frantically in the bed, like really mad no matter how I comforted him like I always do. We were upset, and I had to hold him to comfort him and no way to put him down. But at nighttime, he fell asleep as usual, however waking up at 3am to act like that again.
Today I put him to nap as the usual time, he started crying and screaming since I picked him up from his play zone. And eventually I had to hold him to sleep. The way he acts really frightens me.
What happened to him? He’s been falling asleep on his own for months now. Please help!
Danielle says
Hi Minmin,
Thank you for using The Baby Sleep Site! I’m sorry to hear you’ve been experiencing these scary nap refusals from your baby. Some little ones do go through a 12 or 13 month sleep regression which can affect naps, and cause nap refusal. We have an article with more information about it here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-naps-2/12-month-olds-one-nap-transition/
I hope that will help reassure you, but if you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out!
Angel says
Dear team,
My 11 weeks old son have been fighting to nap. I watched his wake time and tried adjust by increasing /decesing by 5-10mins. But ends up he will fight till his feeding time or end up crying for 30mins. And his wake time turns out to be dragging for 3 hours.
I had no choice but to baby wear him to sleep.
Even when he naps its only 30mins.
Swaddle, dark room and white noise. Ive done it all. Watching wake time 1-1.5hours including putting him down to cot and settling to sleep I’ve done that as well.
For bedtime he is able to sleep through from 7pm – 6am with 0-1 night feed
May I know what is it that I’m doing wrong for his nap time?
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Angel – Thank you for writing to us! I’m sorry to hear you’re having trouble with your baby’s naps, but you’re definitely not alone! If you haven’t yet, you can sign up to receive our free guide written just for families with young babies, “15 Baby Sleep Facts New Parents Need to Know” here:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/15-free-baby-sleep-facts-new-parents-must-know
Since he’s still young, you may also want to take a look at this article too:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/newborns/better-newborn-sleep-7-tips/
Naps can be tough! Give him more time, and hopefully things will smooth out while he learns to sleep on his own! Hang in there and please contact us if you need any assistance at any time!
Karla says
I would love some insight!! My 2.5 year old toddler has been fighting weekend naps and nightly bedtimes! She takes a 2 hour nap at daycare (sometimes they pat her to sleep), but getting her to nap at home has been only part of our nightmare. Quick backstory: I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant and we just moved into a new rental about a month ago. We also decided to transition her to a full sized regular bed the first night we moved in. She did GREAT for the first 2 weeks or so, but now, after her bedtime routine, it’s taking her almost 2 hours plus nightly tantrums before she falls asleep, making it more like a 9/9:30 pm bedtime, which is past my bedtime! I’m running out of ways to discipline/keep control of her staying in her bed and not creating any new sleep associations. Sorry this is so long- could it be anxiety about new baby and move? Any suggestions would be so helpful!
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Karla – Thanks for writing and congratulations on your upcoming new arrival! I’m sorry that your struggling with your toddler’s sleep, and we would love to help. Moving to a new home can certainly cause disruptions in sleep! We write about this here in one of our articles; it should be helpful:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/how-moving-homes-affect-baby-toddler-child-sleep/
You can also work now to get her very used to the idea of having a new baby at home now too!
Since she is sleeping at daycare, but not at home, she may need to learn some new sleep habits at home! As I’m sure you’re aware, with toddlers, it’s all about setting limits and being consistent. Here are a couple of links to articles on our blog that you may find helpful about this too:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/toddlers/limit-setting-toddler
https://www.babysleepsite.com/toddlers/sticker-chart-tips
Hopefully things smooth out very soon, but for additional help, I would recommend that you consider our e-Book, The 5 Step System to Better Toddler Sleep. It is written specifically to help parents of toddlers with various sleep issues.
You can find out more about this ebook, and order the book directly online here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/5-step-system-toddler
We hope that this is helpful for you Karla, and please let us know if you have additional questions at any time!
Thank you,
Tera says
My 13 month old is fighting his last nap. He gets one at 10am and 3pm. It has been taking us an hour and a half or so to get him to sleep. We tried going down to 1 nap a day at noon but he just doesn’t get enough sleep with that. He was only sleeping an hour and a half and only getting about 9 to 10 hours at night. Plus he was falling asleep during lunch at 11am. He is a great napper in the morning but afternoons, not so much. Any advice?
Neosha says
@Tera – Thank you for reading and for sharing with us! This age can definitely be challenging for nap sleep as toddlers his age increase their ability to stay awake for longer periods of time. And it’s very common for the 2nd nap to suffer and be shorter. If it’s taking him a long time consistently to fall asleep for his second nap, it may be time for a schedule change to more easily accommodate him when he’s more sleepy. If you haven’t tried that, that’d be a great first step. If you find you’d like or need more support, please consider connecting with one of our expert sleep consultants who can walk you through getting him back to sleeping better step-by-step, day-by-day. Hang in there, Tera!
Heather says
I have a 6 month old who sleeps great at night, usually 10-11 hours each night. She goes down around 6:30 and wakes up around 5-5:30AM. My frustration is nap time. She is fussy throughout the day and I am not sure what else to do. She only sleeps for about an hour in the AM and about 45 minutes from 1:30-2:15. We try to put her down for a 3rd nap around 4:15-4:30PM but she ends up screaming and crying the entire time instead of sleeping. The other naps we lay her down awake and she puts herself to sleep with minimal fussing. I just feel that she isn’t getting enough day sleep and she is tired and fussy because of it. Any advice?
Neosha says
@Heather – Thank you for reading and for sharing! We’re so sorry to hear your little girl has been having some trouble sleeping during the day. 🙁 We do generally like to see 2-3 hours of day time sleep along with 11-12 hours of night time sleep at this age. We don’t have enough details at this time to pinpoint exactly what could be the issue as it could relate to her schedule, feedings, environment, etc. If you haven’t already downloaded our free nap e-guide that could be a good start for you to start pinpointing issues to help get to some solutions – here it is here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/free-baby-nap-guide/ If you find you need or would like more support, please consider connecting with one our expert sleep consultants who can help walk you through this and narrow down the issue you’re having to develop a sleep solution for your family. Hang in there, Heather!
Michelle says
Our daughter is 8months old and to date she has been falling asleep on us generally after food but not always and then we put her down in cot or bouncer. She has always napped well during the day maybe a couple of 40mins and a longer one 1.5-2.5hrs. She has also been sleeping well at night, dropping the night feed and only needing the dummy or some shhing a couple of times.
Recently though she has been waking more so we have been working on trying to put her down awake.
In an evening this can work okay (still needs stroking and shhing) but over night and during the day this is disastrous! She will just travel around the cot constantly she almost becomes hyperactive in the cot. If we try leaving her she cry’s, and becomes so hysterical that she will push off one side of the cot banging her head on the other side.
We are just at a loss as to what to be doing because we know that her falling asleep on us is not a long term solution but her not napping & getting hysterical doesn’t really seem like a good solution either.
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Michelle – Thanks for writing, and I’m sorry to hear that things are not going smoothly, while you’re working on teaching your baby to fall asleep independently! We understand, and know that this can be tough for baby and parents alike! Hang in there and don’t give up! This link should have some great tips and resources for you:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/sleep-training-baby-guide/
And please contact us if you’d like more help at any time!
JP says
My 3 m.o. has started vehemently fighting naps. He whips his head back when we hold him and screams bloody murder. It takes a lot of rocking to get him to sleep and at this point we’re so worried about him accumulating sleep deficit that my wife usually takes over when I try to put him down to use boob power to avoid him getting over tired. Even going down for the night, he fights it and doesn’t stay down for more than 3 hours at a time. We rarely keep him up for more than an hour during the day before putting him down for a nap. His bed time is between 6 and 7, depending on how his day naps go. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @JP – Thanks for writing, and I’m sorry that you and your wife are struggling with your 3 month old’s sleep! You’re not alone in your little guy fighting sleep! it’s tough to find that “sweet spot” when trying to schedule sleep, especially when babies are young and not quite masters at putting themselves to sleep yet. I hope that this link will be helpful:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/3-month-old-baby-sleep-and-feeding-schedule/
Please let us know if things do not smooth out and you’d like more help!
Casey says
I have a 9 month old that sleeps through the night, she goes down for morning nap at 9 but fights it and cries it out every time and only sleeps 15-20 min. Second nap she usually falls asleep drinking her bottle then I transfer her into a crib. It’s dark, warm, quite music and white noise machine and sleeps for 20 min. I let her cry it out for about an hour and still doesn’t fall back to sleep. HELP! I know she needs both of these naps.
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Casey – Thank you for writing and I’m sorry to hear that your daughter is struggling with such short naps! This can be tough, and we understand! Have you checked out these tips:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/25-baby-toddler-nap-time-tips/
Some very consistent nap time sleep coaching may be in order too, and if you’d like help with this we’d love to help!
You may want to consider our eBook: Mastering Naps and Schedules. This eBook includes over 45 sample daytime nap and feeding schedules, as well as tips on how to lengthen and extend short naps.
You can read more about our Mastering Naps eBook options here:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/mastering-naps
If you might prefer a one on one consultation package with expert support from one of our sleep consultants, check out these options here:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services
Hang in there Casey and let us know if you have any questions!