Sleep training, or teaching your baby healthy sleep habits, can be confusing and frustrating. One of the most popular sleep training methods is The Ferber Method, also known as Ferberizing or graduated extinction. This method involves letting your baby cry at increasingly longer intervals until they are sleeping through the night and taking longer naps. Here’s everything you need to know about this sleep training method.
What is The Ferber Method?
The Ferber Method was developed by Dr. Richard Ferber, the director of The Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders, at Children’s Hospital Boston to help your child learn to sleep better. The method is outlined in detail in his book, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems but if you don’t have time to read a book with 464 pages, here’s everything you need to know about Ferberizing.
This method is designed to help teach your baby or toddler how to self-soothe, sleep in longer stretches or through the night, and take longer naps. The main difference between this method and Cry-It-Out (or Extinction when you stay out of the room completely) is that you support your baby or toddler during the learning process by visiting them at increasing intervals for a period of time. I will outline a couple of example sessions below in more detail.
FREE E-Book: 5 Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night
Age to Use The Ferber Method
The best age for The Ferber Method is around 6 months old before your baby is sitting up and standing up. However, you want to wait until you stop swaddling your baby.
Some families start at 4 months old during the 4-month sleep regression while others wait until over a year old. There isn’t a “right” or “wrong” time and you know your baby best! However, I generally do NOT recommend The Ferber Method for babies younger than 3-4 months old. Of course, every situation is different and there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach that will work for everyone.
You may also be interested in:
How Does The Ferber Method Work?
First, as with any sleep training method, you start by laying a healthy foundation for sleep. This means going through your pre-sleep training checklist, making any necessary changes to your baby’s sleep and feeding schedule, and having a way to keep track of the time. I cannot emphasize enough how the right schedule will make sleep training so much easier (and sometimes avoids sleep training altogether!).
Once you’ve laid the groundwork, you can start Ferberizing. Here’s the step-by-step process:
- Do your bedtime routine ending with a consistent phrase or song.
- Lay your baby or toddler down drowsy but awake.
- Leave the room (or sit in a chair if you prefer to try to stay in the room).
- If your child starts to cry, start your timer. If your child is not crying, no need to start the timer.
- Once the timer goes off, go check-in and offer comfort. Be sure to stop soothing and/or leave while your child is still awake.
- Repeat the check-in and comfort process with different intervals until your baby or toddler falls asleep.
But, what intervals should you use?
Which intervals to use can depend a lot on your baby’s intensity, how persistent they are, and your comfort level with crying. Some babies fuss a little while others scream their heads off. The book suggests starting with intervals at 3 minutes, 5 minutes, then 10 minutes. And, each day/night you are supposed to increase each of those intervals by 3-5 minutes. Here are a couple of examples for different temperament babies:
Mild-mannered Easy-going baby
- Day 1 – Check 1: 3 minutes, Check 2: 5 minutes, Check 3+: 10 minutes
- Day 2 – Check 1: 5 minutes, Check 2: 8 minutes, Check 3+: 12 minutes
- Day 3 – Check 1: 8 minutes, Check 2: 12 minutes, Check 3+: 15 minutes
- Day 4 – Check 1: 10 minutes, Check 2: 15 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes
- Day 5 – Check 1: 12 minutes, Check 2: 18 minutes, Check 3+: 25 minutes
- Day 6 – Check 1: 15 minutes, Check 2: 20 minutes, Check 3+: 25 minutes
- Day 7 – Check 1: 20 minutes, Check 2: 25 minutes, Check 3+: 30 minutes
Intense Spirited Baby
- Day 1 – Check 1: 3 minutes, Check 2: 5 minutes, Check 3+: 8 minutes
- Day 2 – Check 1: 5 minutes, Check 2: 8 minutes, Check 3+: 10 minutes
- Day 3 – Check 1: 8 minutes, Check 2: 10 minutes, Check 3+: 12 minutes
- Day 4 – Check 1: 10 minutes, Check 2: 15 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes
- Day 5 – Check 1: 12 minutes, Check 2: 18 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes
- Day 6 – Check 1: 15 minutes, Check 2: 18 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes
- Day 7 – Check 1: 15 minutes, Check 2: 18 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes
Why does this work?
The idea is that you are supporting your child as they learn a new skill. Just like they will fall on their bottom many times before actually learning to walk, they will have some failures until they succeed. By allowing them time to self-soothe, you are breaking the habit of them needing you to put them to sleep.
You may also be interested in:
How Long Does The Ferber Method Take?
Generally speaking, most babies will cry for an hour or less but there are a few persistent babies who cry for longer periods (1-2 hours) the first 2-3 nights. Many people will start to see progress within 3-4 nights though that doesn’t mean you will be “done.” If your baby is crying for over an hour for more than two nights, consider reevaluating your schedule or addressing the 5 things we recommend you do before you Ferberize.
I typically recommend being consistent for at least 1-2 weeks since it takes time to make new habits and every day might be a little different with your schedule and other variables.
If you’ve been sleep training for more than two weeks, that would be cause for us to look into other reasons your baby is crying for long periods of time. Keep in mind that some babies will continue to cry for a few minutes (5-10 at the most) long-term. Anything more than that, and I’d say it isn’t working.
You may also be interested in:
What About Night Feedings?
In the book, Dr. Ferber says to NOT feed your baby at night after 3-4 months old. Keep in mind that, based on my 13+ years of experience as a sleep consultant working with families personally, when a baby can sleep all night without feedings varies significantly especially if you are breastfeeding. Therefore, if you plan to implement The Ferber Method exactly as outlined without night feedings, then I recommend you wait until your baby is capable of going 11-12 hours without consuming milk. Many families can still use The Ferber Method even continuing to feed at night once or twice, though.
You may also be interested in:
What About Naps? Are Those Different?
Day and night sleep are handled by two different parts of the brain, so we typically address naps separately from nighttime sleep. The main difference with using The Ferber Method for naps is we put a limit of one hour to the sleep training session. If your baby hasn’t fallen asleep, we typically take a 1-hour break and then try again. Different babies need different approaches but this works for the majority of situations.
Nap training often does take longer than nights, though. Plan to commit to two weeks of consistency for optimum results.
You may also be interested in:
What About Separation Anxiety and Is This Method Flexible?
Definitely! The best sleep training methods are those that you can adapt to fit your needs and circumstances. You can increase or decrease the amount of time between your check-ins as needed. You can also use the same check-in intervals for several days at a time, for example.
Babies go through peaks and valleys for separation anxiety beginning around 7 months old. If you are concerned your baby is going through a peak, consider waiting to sleep train, having shorter intervals, or consider sleep training while staying in the room. You can implement this same method by sitting on a chair in the room.
Be aware, however, that some children get really frustrated if their parents stay in the room during sleep training. It can be very confusing to have mom or dad so close by but not offer comfort or put the baby to sleep. Of course, the check-ins allow you to reassure your baby periodically, teaching them that whenever you leave, you come back, which is the primary reason for separation anxiety in the first place.
Finally, HOW you offer comfort during your check-ins is flexible, too. Some families prefer to soothe just with their voices, while other families will pat their babies’ heads, rub their backs, etc. Other families prefer to pick their children up briefly. All of these can work, provided you don’t inadvertently end up putting your child to sleep during one of your check-ins That’s what your child is supposed to be doing on her own! The key is to find the right approach for your baby. The first few nights are usually the worst no matter what strategy you choose.
Is The Ferber Method Harmful?
In general, The Ferber Method is considered safe and not harmful to your baby. Crying for small durations of time with periodic reassurance from parents will not cause long-lasting damage. However, keep in mind that it is important to be “fixing” the right problem.
There are many reasons a baby wakes at night and letting a baby cry for many hours when he is hungry or sick would NOT be the right thing to do. There is a difference between letting a 4-month-old cry to get him to sleep 12 hours without eating when some 4-month-olds still need two nighttime feedings versus a 12-month-old waking every hour simply to be held at night and everything in between.
I strongly recommend that you view your baby’s sleep from a holistic perspective and ensure you are setting her up for success. You should look at the entire daytime schedule, feedings, health, etc. Lay the proper foundation and sometimes very little crying is necessary to help her sleep through the night!
The Ferber Method: Making It Personal
This article offers a general overview of how the Ferber method works – but putting this sleep training method into practice may be tough indeed! Many families wonder how to cope with the crying and fussing between check-in intervals, or how long to do the check-in process each night. If you want a more personalized approach to The Ferber Method, we can give you just that. Connect with one of our expert consultants; she’ll walk you through every step of sleep training and will provide detailed answers to your most pressing sleep training questions.
Purchase a sleep consulting package today, and connect with your expert sleep consultant!
Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information. You’ll be able to log in and get started immediately!
Ashley says
hello,
My 19 month boy was never a good sleeper. He did ok for a little bit, i used to put him down after i nurse him while he’s still awake, and it was going good but I’m not sure what happened now. He would not lay down during naps after i put him down after i nurse him. he’d scream and scream for more then 2 hrs!!! of course Id check on him every 15 minutes but he’d scream even more. he won’t fall sleep during nap and i ended up getting him after 2 hrs!! i feel horrible but i know he’s so tired and i thought he’d fall asleep. he won’t even lay down, he gets up as soon as i lay him down. his room is pitched dark so he’d just scream “mommy mommy” in the dark. at night time he will just lay down, but nap time is a whole different story. please help, what can i do ?
Janelle Reid says
Hi @Ashley, I am so sorry you’ve been struggling with your son’s naps! We have a free guide available to download that may provide some insight and tips to help: https://www.babysleepsite.com/free-baby-nap-guide/
If the problem persists, you may find working one-on-one with a sleep consultant can help! We have an amazing team that can look at your son’s sleep history and help put together a plan of action to solve the issues you are experiencing in a step-by-step approach. If you are interested, please visit our page here to read more: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
I hope you see some improvement soon!
Kayela says
Hello,
My daughter will be 7 months on the 22nd and I will be starting the Ferber method soon. Here’s the deal. She can fall asleep on her own pretty good for naps and bed time and sometimes I let her cry herself to sleep (which isn’t very long). She takes about 3-4 naps a day but they are only 10-15 minute naps (if that). At bedtime I lay her down but around 9pm she’s up and will only go back to sleep if we cosleep. I’m ready to be done cosleeping. She nurses and refuses EVERY bottle. She doesn’t take a pacifier either. My question is, when I start sleep training her, say I lay her down at 6 and she’s up at 7 and I nurse her and then she’s up at 8 and so on.. do I feed her every time or when she wakes up do I let her cry for the scheduled time? Just not sure what to do each time she wakes up. Thank you!
Janelle Reid says
Hi @Kayela, thank you for visiting the Baby Sleep Site. Without knowing her full history it is difficult to determine when you should/shouldn’t nurse her, but one of our sleep consultants would love to help you figure this out through one of our sleep consultations. You can read about our different options online here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
We also have a free ebook available for download with tips on helping your baby learn to sleep through the night that may provide some additional information you find helpful. You can sign up to receive the ebook here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-through-night-free-ebook/
Good luck with everything and thank you for your comment!
Katie Cranford says
Is 4 months too young to start sleep training with the Ferber method? I do everything I can to soothe baby until I am out of options when he cries at night. I let him cry it out for the first time last night for about 30 minutes. Then he was up an hour later. Do I pick him up and soothe him, and start the cry it out process again or just not soothe him again so soon?
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Katie – Thank you for writing to us! The exact age when a baby can master falling asleep on his own and back to sleep on his own can vary, but according to Dr Ferber, 4 months is not too young to start! Many families prefer to move more slowly, and will soothe back to sleep for night wakings, at least at first. If you would like real one-on-one help, we have an amazing team of sleep consultants who would love to help! You can check out our packages here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/services/ or contact us directly at: [email protected] and we can help you figure out the package that would work best.
Thank you again for visiting us!
Jared Hill says
Hi. My wife and I have tried the ferber method and our problem always ends up being he ends up inconsolable. We put him down drowsy and and plays in his crib for a while till he gets upset, then starts too cry. We can sometimes consol him then, but it just escalates where he just is screaming, regardless of or consoling efforts. We dont know what to do.
Janelle Reid says
Hi @Jared Hill, thank you for writing to us and I am so sorry that you and your wife have been struggling with sleep training your son. Some sleep training methods just don’t work for certain kids. If you want help figuring out what the best technique is (or how to make the Ferber Method work) we would love to help. We have an amazing team of sleep consultants who can look at your son’s sleep history, your parenting philosophies, and put together a plan that you feel good about. If you’re interested, you can look through our packages here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/ or contact us directly at [email protected] and we can help you figure out the package that would work best.
I hope this helps! Thank you for using the Baby Sleep Site as a resource.
Melanie J says
Hi! I really want to sleep train my 10 month old, but the thing is, she doesn’t take a pacifier and the only real soothing method she has is nursing. Any tips for helping her find comfort without nursing to sleep? Should she have a comfort object?
Neosha says
@Melanie – Thank you for stopping by our sleepy little village. Congratulations on beginning your sleep training journey! The first step is often the hardest to take. 🙂 We’re here if you find you need support along the way. Have you considered a lovey? These are often phenomenal in helping babies and toddlers find comfort during sleep coaching – they also provide comfort for parents knowing their little ones have that extra comfort during the process, too! Here’s an article that will help you decide if a lovey is right for you: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/baby-lovey-how-when-why/ I hope this helps, Melanie. Good luck!
Sarah Gross says
Hi there!
I have an 8 month old son who has never slept through the night no matter how many times I have tried to sleep train him. He wakes up every 3 hours and will not go back to sleep without being fed. He is not the greatest napper either. I lay him down awake and he does fall asleep on his own and has been for months, but it takes a long time.
How do I sleep train him when he wants to eat every 3 hours at night? Do I just cut out those feedings completely? Also, how does that work for naps?
Thank you!
Sarah
Janelle Reid says
Hi @Sarah Gross, I am sorry you have been struggling with your son’s sleep. It sounds like you would really benefit from working one-on-one with a sleep consultant as they can help you figure out a method and approach to sleep training your son. Once our consultants have a full sleep history of what’s going on, they will be able to craft a plan with steps to more sleep for everyone. If you are interested, you can read about our different options here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/ and feel free to email us if you have any questions when selecting a package to [email protected]
Hang in there! Thank you for using the Baby Sleep Site as a resource for sleep!
Brian Brown says
Hi,
We are proud parents of a 9 month old son and are starting to sleep train him again. We had him sleep trained and sleeping throughout the nigh when he was around 6-7 months old but around the 7 month mark he got sick and was sick for about 4-6 weeks with bronchiolitis (twice), pneumonia and constant ear infections. The treatments were with a nebulizer every 4-6 hours which we believe disrupted his sleep patterns. We are currently on your proposed feeding and nap schedule on your website and are laying him down awake during his naps and bedtime. My question is when he wakes up in the middle of the night (which is around the 2-3 hour mark like clockwork), do we continue with the Ferber method and putting him down awake?
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @ Brian! Thank you for visiting us! Glad to hear your LO is feeling better now – that sounds like a very tough 4-6 weeks. 🙁
How you proceed with the night wakings is ultimately up to you! Sometimes, families prefer to do “everything” at once, so that they will hopefully have a quicker sleep training journey. Others prefer to move more slowly, to make it easier to manage, or will work on one area at a time because they prefer a gentler approach. if you are comfortable with working on bedtime, night wakings and naps all at once, and your baby responds well, then go for it! But if you prefer to slow things down a bit, it is fine to work just on bedtime, and begin to work on night wakings once bedtime is a little smoother.
Good luck, and thanks again for visiting our sleepy little village!
Janine says
Hi, I just want to say I am about 7 days into sleep training. She has slept thru the entire night last night and nearly the night before with very quick wake ups. I keep a sleep chart in excel to track what changes I had to make to her schedule and what is finally working ( i wish i had tracked her poor sleep before i had started but I hadn’t but in retrospect I think it would of helped give me more confidence about the process) but a last it still helped a lot and was recommended in the ferber book. I think all should read and then re-read during different points in a childs life and as i understand sleep training is something you will have to do more then once during their childhood and i made my husband read it as well. In total, my child needs 13.5 hours of sleep, 9.5 hrs of awake time, 2 naps, one in the morning 9-10, and the other 1:30-3pm and the max amount of time she can be awake is 4.5 hours from her last nap and the bedtime routine starts 4 hours bc she loves bathtime with dad and is in bed asleep by 7:30pm awake by 6:15 and she gets 4 bottles during the day and two meals during her longest awake times one at 12 and 5pm . I had good control over her daytime naps and I have/like having hte pacifier during the day and don’t have an issue with that at this point and believe it will naturally phase out and I am using it as minimally as possible to slowly work on detachment. I knew my goal was to remove the pacifier only at night as I felt it was the biggest hindrance. I also decided after about two nights what my threshold was for crying and decided 10,12,15,15 was as far as i could go even if it took more then 4 nights which at night 3 i nearly lost hope but on night 4 everything changed, which Ferber also said would be the case. I hope this helps others. I did not think this was cruel or that my child suffered a traumatic experience from this and actually now she is far happier during the day now and can now play by herself much more easily bc she is better rested but the first night was the worst, so have some wine during that night.
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @ Janine – Thank you for writing and for sharing what worked for you! We are so happy to hear that things have improved so greatly, and hope too that others can get there too, in reading your story!
We hope that things continue to go well! Thanks again for your comment! : )
Janine says
Hi! I have a 7 month old girl. She didn’t take the pacifier till 4 months when we switched from nursing to formula. Putting her on the pacifier helped us get ride of nightfeedings and rocking but pretty quickly after i realized after 6-8 night wakings to pop that nippy in that she now has a sleep association problem. I have read the ferber method and we r in the midst of sleep training on it. What i really do not understand is that in his book he recommends a child my age should sleep around 9 1/2 hours of uninterrupted sleep and have two to three naps during the day for a total of 12 1/2 hours of sleep but when i read online the recommended is much more, which is making me really confused about how much napping she needs and what time to put her to bed. Today she naps two times a day, for 3hrs and bedtime i think really shouldn’t b later then 7:30 with a wakeup at 7 or is this really tooo much sleep?
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Janine – Thank you for visiting us!! We think that you are on the right track! At 7 months of age, we recommend that babies get about 11-12 hours of total night sleep, and about 2-3 hours in naps. I think that our sample schedules will help:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/7-month-old-baby-schedule/
I hope that sleep training goes smoothly, and please keep us in mind if you need any assistance at any time! : )
Jacky L. says
Hi,
I have a 9 month old boy.
He used to be a good sleeper, now he is the worst sleeper ever and even more he hates going to bed.
He used to be able to fall asleep by himself, don’t know what happen..:(
After I put him to sleep while nursing, in his crib, he will wake up after a while, notice that I am not there and scream. Once I come into his room I he calms down, but then he won’t fall asleep, he will put his head down but now and then check if I am still there…
I want to sleep train him. My questions are, he is teething, all 4 on the top are coming, but he doesn’t seem to be in to much pain. Also I will be going to Europe in 10 days for a while to visit family. I really don’t want him crying there every two hours.
Do I have enough time to sleep train him, is it the right time? Can you sleep train while teething? I am pretty sure that he just has anxiety.
And what to do once I sleep train him, but he wakes up in the middle of the night. Let him cry as well?
Thank you in advance for your help and advice. It’s much appreciated.
Kind regards,
Jacky.
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Jacky – Thanks for writing! If your baby does not seem uncomfortable with the impending teething, it is fine to begin working on sleep now! The trip to Europe in 10 days does make the timing more tricky. If you are okay with keeping things the way they are, and waiting to start once you are home and adjusted to home, that may be best. But you do have some time before the trip to at least get a good start to better sleep! Perhaps you can start just at bedtime for now, to keep things more manageable for both you and baby, and for night wakings, keep doing what you have been doing. Once bedtime is going better, move onto night wakings, and often just working on bedtime can make other sleep times better too!
Have you checked out our article with tips for traveling with baby?
https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/baby-toddler-travel/
We hope that you have a wonderful trip and that sleep is a breeze! Good luck!