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Why does baby wake up crying?
Obviously, a baby wakes up crying to eat, because they are wet or dirty, or to have their sleep association recreated (such as replacing a pacifier).
But, what does it mean when your baby wakes up crying from a nap, or in the morning when they are “done” sleeping?
Baby Crying Between Sleep Cycles
Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be a definitive reason as to why a baby wakes up crying. However, it is normal for them to cry between sleep cycles.
When my first-born woke up crying, 90% of the time it meant that he was not done sleeping. He may have woken up between sleep cycles and was having trouble going into the next one. My second son had a much easier time going into the next sleep cycle, but he still whimpered a bit between sleep cycles.
Should You Tend To Your Baby When They Wake Up Crying?
As a sleep consultant with over 10 years of experience, I strongly encourage you not to run in at the slightest whimper. Crying between sleep cycles is normal and expected. Babies might not cry between sleep cycles every time, but they do some.
I am not saying you need to allow your baby to cry-it-out. Not at all! But, any amount of crying feels a lot longer than it is.
My second son did not have as much of a luxury to be attended to at the slightest whimper because I had my toddler son to take care of, too. I remember when my second son was around 2 months old, I was fixing my first son lunch and son #2 woke up from his nap. I couldn’t get to him right away but was walking to his room by the 3- or 4-minute mark. My hand was on the doorknob and he went back to sleep!! I would have disturbed his nap had I been in there any sooner. Of course, at 2 AM, 3 or 4 minutes feels more like 30, but just keep it in mind and look at the clock.
Is Your Baby Done Sleeping?
As I said before, when my eldest son woke up from his nap, crying, it usually meant he was not done sleeping (whether he went back to sleep or not was hit or miss). So, if he did wake up crying, at least I knew whether to run in there or not. At the very least, I tried to give him 5 minutes to try to fall back to sleep.
Having said that, I once worked with a mom whose baby, 90% of the time, woke up crying and that’s just how he came out of his sleep cycles. Therefore, it didn’t have the same meaning for her.
In my experience with most families, a baby waking up crying typically means they need more sleep.
Babies do outgrow waking up crying and it happens a lot less after you have done sleep training. Through sleep training, your baby can learn to seamlessly go into their next sleep cycle, so after they are truly done sleeping, most babies will wake up happy and cooing.
Does Your Baby Wake Up Crying?
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dannielle says
My son is the happiest little guy 99% of the time upon awakening from a nap or first thing in the morning.
However, every so often he will wake up screaming. I found this website after searching for “baby wakes up crying” and realized, after some reading, that he just isn’t done with his nap and needs time to get back to sleep.
Before reading about this issue, I would take 3 or 4 minutes to get to him, but even that was not long enough for him to get back to sleep. I’d try to breastfeed, play, walk around with him- nothing helped! Of course now I understand why: he was still sleepy! He just needed some love and a pacifier to get back to sleep.
Lisa says
I am desperate for some help! My daughter is 7 weeks old and has never slept much or well during the day.. but she would at least sleep around 4 hours total during the day (with lots of help getting down). Lately she has been only sleeping 2 or less hours during the entire day!! Sometimes she will go all afternoon and refuse to take a nap… I will spend an hour or more trying to get her down (using all the suggestions) and she is tired and may sleep for a few minutes but will always start crying horribly. I know newborns are supposed to get more sleep during the day and I don’t know why she does not and I’m concerned it’s not healthy. She sleep fine at night, 8-10 hours and wakes up twice so that’s not a problem, it’s just daytime.
Whitney says
I am so hopeful after reading this that someone may be able to give me some helpful advice or even just an answer! My son is 19 months old. He has always slept in his own crib, we sleep trained very early (started at about 2 weeks), after our bed/nap routine he falls to sleep on his own, he sleeps from 7 pm to 7 am (sometimes 8!!) and can almost always fall back to sleep on his own if he wakes in the middle of the night. The problem is that his ENTIRE life (not exaggerating) he has woken up between sleep cycles while napping (never at night). I can time my watch by it. For a while it was 45 min into a nap, then 1 hr. 15 min, now it is almost exactly one hour. He is down to only one nap a day and I know he is so tired after only one hour of sleep for the entire day. I try to let him cry and get settled back to sleep, but he very rarely does this. (As in, maybe once a week.) He wakes up screaming crying and then can’t go back to sleep. I’ve tried leaving him alone, going in there to try and calm him down, altering his awake time and nap time – nothing helps. Any ideas on what is happening or what I can do to help him get over this?
Judy says
My 5.5 months daughter has been a good sleeper since day 1. However, things has deteriorated in the last 3 weeks: It began by waking up for long period of times (between 1 and 2.5 hours): She would play on her own and than try and fall back asleep. When she would not succeed i would give her the pacifier (often re-swaddle her, as she would release herself when she is awake – tried to let her sleep without the swaddle, but that wasn’t successful), and she would fall back asleep. Than however, the pacifier wasn’t enough and I had to feed her – she won’t fall asleep on the breast, but would be more settled and fall asleep shortly after. Yesterday however, she woke up crying every three hours – never before she cried when she woke up. However nothing seemed to be the problem; no tummy ache, not hunger, don’t think it’s teething or thirst.
At night – round 8- we do a bed time routine (which she loves) and she would fall asleep without a dummy. she would wake up at 7. During the day she would normally have one 4 min nap and another 1.5-2 hrs nap. She shares a room with us, but not a bed – maybe move her out?
Other then that she breast feeds, I begun solids a few weeks ago, and give her a small meal during the day.
Any suggestions? I really don’t want her into bad habits..
Gina says
I re-sent it, if you have not recieved it again the please e-mail me & ill reply to you with my questions for you, [email protected]
Kind regards x
Rachel says
I haven’t seen any post from you I don’t think. If you haven’t sent it yet please do, if you have already I don’t believe I’ve gotten it so my suggestion would be send it again. Sorry thanks Rachel
Gina says
I have emailed you for more advice, thank you
Rachel Humphrey says
I understand you wanting to know if she’s dirty or not but if you clean her up when she goes to bed most the time she will be ok for the night. It’s ok for the night, as she gets older she will stop dirtying her pants at night. Unless she’s got diarrhea it wont hurt her.
Yes it’s better for her, she will get a more rested night. If she’s not waking up. She’s waking up because she’s used to you coming in just as you wake up at a set time when you are used to getting up at that time for say…. work. She’s doing the same thing. You have to just let her go for a few days. Crying doesn’t hurt her. It will seem like a long time but it’s really not. As long as you know you changed her before bed, fed her and gave her a bottle and she’s not sick and she’s safe, her bed is in good repair and she can’t get or fall out. Don’t let your mind think something you did could have been wrong. Your mind will do that. After I’m saying 2 nights maybe 3 of this she will stop getting up at all. She might test you again a few days or even a week later. I can say this from experience. You need to hear it from someone to be sure of yourself. If I knew where you were I’d tell you to call me for support but gosh i have no idea. But emailing is fine. [email protected]
Gina says
See the reason for me going in to her room is to check her to see if she’s clean as she is when Iput her to bed but I dont no weather or not she as done a poo! So you reccomend leaving her even if she’s crying longer then 20 min?. The good night sleep is not just for my benefit, I think it will do her the world of good to as she’ll nap better & feel better during the day. Thank you for your help this means the world to me x
Rachel Humphrey says
Gina, She’s waking up because you are going in. My son tried that too and I would go in a think I had to do something, rub his back, change his diaper or something but REALLY he stopped when I stopped going in. For maybe two days he would wake up and yell but I knew he was ok, his crib was safe, his diaper was good there was no way it was bad before morning enough to hurt him, He wasn’t hungry he ate well before bed. I just let him go, it took two nights and he stopped doing it.It was well worth the hassle. lol Good luck