Parents of toddlers or soon-to-be toddlers — this one’s for you. We’re talking potty training today!
Whether potty training’s on your horizon or something you’re right smack in the middle of, you probably already know that the whole process is less than thrilling. For everyone. My potty training experiences have always left me wondering why human beings aren’t born knowing how to use the toilet.
We’re not discussing actual potty training techniques and methods in this article; there are plenty of other resources floating around the internet that can help you with that. Rather, we’re going to talk about potty training as it relates to our favorite topic: sleep! And, potty training and sleep training are common in some ways.
So, are potty training and sleep connected? Yes. Does one affect the other? You bet. How are they related? Keep reading.
The Two Stages of Potty Training
Many pediatric experts divide potty training into two steps, or stages: daytime training and nighttime training. The idea is that a toddler first learns to use the potty and control her bladder when she’s awake. That’s the “easier” part (although calling any part of potty training “easy” seems crazy to me!)
However, it’ll likely take your toddler longer (a lot longer, in some cases) to control his bladder when he’s asleep. A few rare toddlers complete both stages at once, achieving total dryness 24 hours a day, but they’re exceptions to the rule. Most toddlers who are potty trained during their waking hours will continue to have accidents when they’re asleep.
So take heart — all those nighttime accidents your toddler may be experiencing? They’re normal. Frustrating, but normal.
Sleep Affects Potty Training
You may find yourself wondering why, if your toddler can control his bladder when he’s awake, he can’t also control it during sleep. Our adult bodies wake us up when it’s time to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Why don’t our toddlers’ bodies do the same?
The answer is that they will — eventually. Remember that your toddler’s body is still growing and developing. Over time, your toddler will develop the mind-body connection he needs to wake during the night in order to go potty. For some toddlers, this happens quickly. For others (particularly for toddlers who are very deep sleepers), it may take a lot longer.
Potty Training Affects Sleep
You know by now that there are lots of elements that’ll affect your toddler’s sleep — teething, illness, sleep regressions… Just when you get into a nice “sleep groove”, it feels like another issue comes along and ruins it.
Let’s add potty training to that list. Potty training can be murder on a todder’s sleep! This is in part because it’s a huge, new skill, and just as other big skills (walking, talking, etc.) disrupt sleep, potty training will disturb your toddler’s naptime and nighttime sleep.
Potty training can also cause more toddler naptime and nighttime waking because it’s teaching your toddler a new awareness of her body. She’s learning the sensation connected with having to pee, or having to poop, and that sensation may start waking her early in the morning, or in the middle of the night. It may also cause her to wake early from her naps.
Your potty-training toddler is also becoming more and more aware of how a wet or dirty diaper (or pull-up) feels. So even if he isn’t waking in the middle of the night to actually use the potty, he may wake because his wet or dirty pull-up is making him uncomfortable (even though prior to potty training, he would’ve slept right through that sensation.)
Potty Training Will (Probably) Mean A Little Less Sleep
Just know that during the potty training process, you’re probably going to get a little less sleep than usual. So will your toddler. And that’s normal. Potty training’s a bit like sleep training in this way — during the process itself, no one’s going to sleep very well, but in the end, it’s worth it.
There are ways you can help minimize nighttime, naptime, and early-morning waking during potty training (more on that later!). But remember that at this point, you’ll want to prioritize the potty training. This is a skill you WANT your kid to have, after all! And the lack of sleep should be short-lived.
How To Make Sure Everyone Gets Enough Sleep While Potty Training
I’ve always found that term “nighttime potty training” a bit misleading. You can’t “train” a person to do anything when they’re asleep, after all. Rather, the nighttime part of potty training has to come on its own.
There are steps you can take, however, to minimize the sleeplessness that comes with potty training:
- Limit food and drinks before bed. 1.5 to 2 hours before bedtime, declare a ban on all beverages. This’ll help ensure your toddler has an empty bladder when she goes to bed.
- Encourage visits to the potty before bed. Make a potty trip part of your bedtime routine; this’ll help him empty his bladder completely.
- Consider waking your child before you go to bed. This works well for some parents — they wake their toddler around 10 or 11 p.m. (before they go to bed themselves) and make one final trip to the potty. If you have a deep sleeper, however, this won’t work at all, simply because you won’t be able to wake him up (I’m speaking from first-hand experience here!)
- Use pull-ups without shame. Sticking your potty-trained toddler in a pull-up at night can feel like failure. But remember, you can’t “teach” your toddler how to not pee or poop while she’s unconscious. Her body just needs time to catch up. So, while you’re waiting for that catch-up to happen, consider using pull-ups. It’ll keep everyone more sane.
- Try to embrace the waking. Again, prioritize the potty training. Yes, it stinks that your toddler was up twice last night, but that’s less important right now than the fact that she’s learning this important skill.
Nicole’s Note:
“One thing we see sometimes with potty training toddlers is they have a little anxiety about having an accident. They may take longer to fall asleep or wake too early in the morning. Also, some don’t grasp the concept that it is OK to get out of bed, if they have to go, so they lay there and hold it, but can’t sleep. Finally, toddlers learn VERY quickly just how happy we are they are going to the bathroom and boy do they use that to their advantage stalling bedtime by going potty 5 times! And, of course, we are so worried they will really have to go, that we take them. At some point, you do have to say ‘last time’ and make sleep the priority. Find that balance.”
A Note About Chronic Bedwetting
The majority of children are fully potty trained (day and night) by the time they start kindergarten (around 5 or 6 years old), if not before. However, a few will continue to have chronic bedwetting (also called “enuresis”). This is generally a harmless condition, but if your child has this problem, you should consult a healthcare provider, since it can be a sign of an underlying medical condition.
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Emily DeJeu says
@ Jennifer — reading your comment is like reading about my own experience! Both of my boys have been a snap to potty train, but one still struggles with nighttime wetness. I’ve done a bit of reading on it, and I’m finding that it can be related to a variety of things, including genetics (more likely to happen if dad/uncle had the same problem), nightmares/night terrors (as you mentioned), having a small bladder, and even having enlarged tonsils!
I’m hoping the problem resolves itself in time. We do the same thing you do; we use Underjams and call then nighttime undies.
Jennifer says
Daytime potty-training my son was a breeze. He decided at 28 months that he wanted to wear underwear instead of a diaper and took matters into his own hands.
We did try night-time training for awhile at about 30 months but have since reverted to pull-ups which we call nighttime underwear. I think that the biggest problem that we were having is related to night terrors. I wonder if the anxiety about staying dry at night contributed to night terrors. Regardless, we’re still dealing with night terrors now, so pull-ups are easier for the time being – He just turned three in August.
Emily DeJeu says
@ Yung — thanks for sharing these tips! Sounds like potty training happened quickly for your son, which is awesome! Getting our toddlers out of diapers and into underwear is always a good thing. 🙂
Yung says
This is how I trained my first boy, who is 7 year old, and will do the same with my 2nd boy, 11 month old. I started with day time potty. First, put him in the potty every 2 hours and tell him to pee and poop once he pass his first birthday. He was in daycare at that time and the caregiver did that to him and followed the same at home. Then after a few months, around 18 months with my boy, i started with night time training by empty his bladder before bed and when I was up in the middle night, I would pick him up and let him stand with head on my shoulder, while he was sleeping, i pulled his pant down and put a cup in and tell him to pee. But you have to be careful when put the cup down cause you don’t want to spill the floor. I had no accident to spill at all. Then pull his pant up and lay him down to sleep. He will learn after a few times and will never fully awake. he was out of diaper around a little over 2 years completely, had about 3 accident without diaper after that. I got a waterproof bed after and no more accident and he is 7 year old now.
Emily DeJeu says
@ Monique — Thanks for sharing your experience so far! Sounds like your daughter is making good progress; being aware of her bodily functions is the first step towards her becoming independent when it comes to the potty.
Hope your potty-training journey is a good one!
Emily DeJeu says
@ maggie gawelko — 7 months is definitely young. Most families don’t start until somewhere between 18 months and 3 years (quite the age range, isn’t it?) Sounds like your daughter is right where she should be at 22 months — gaining an awareness of her body, and figuring out what the potty chair is for and how it works. At this point, that’s perfect! In another few months, you may want to start actually having her try to pee in the potty chair; that’ll start the real potty training.
In terms of potty training articles and resources, I’d suggest you google “potty training.” You’ll be amazed at how many articles crop up! We don’t really have a set of resources we recommend to parents, although Nicole used this method: http://www.3daypottytraining.com
Monique says
My daughter (18 months this weekend) has been showing the signs of being aware of pee and poo coming out. We bought two potties (one for downstairs and one for upstairs) for her to play with and get comfortable with it. When we use the bathroom she follows us and sits on her potty. With a diaper change she is now sitting on it without her diaper on for a few minutes and we talk about pee and poo… I asked her if she needs to do more pee or poo, and when she shakes her head no, then I ask if she wants a clean diaper back on. Sometimes it’s a no (= not yet), and sometimes she stands up and turns around for me to put her diaper on (I change her standing up). It works well. Currently she is pointing at her diaper front or back after she has done something, says oh oh and walks to the bathroom. She is moving to the toddler class this week and there they have the facilities to potty train her (not in her infant class). I think once she is settled in to the toddler class, this can work because she is so aware and getting used to it already. Hope this experience will give some ideas to others. Cheers, Monique
maggie gawelko says
I am surprised to hear a seven month old is starting to potty train. My daughter is thinking about starting and he is 22months. He will say pee and poops and he is right. She boought a potty chair and he sits on it but with a daper on. Just to sit. We wondered if he is to young? He is still in his crib. Please suggest good potty training articles.
Emily DeJeu says
@ elu — Congratulations on having such potty training success at such a young age! Very exciting 🙂 There’s probably no harm in starting potty training early, although many experts are quick to point out that a toddler isn’t fully potty trained until they’re able to initiate their own trips to the bathroom (in other words, if the toddler needs to be taken to the potty every 20 minutes in order to not have accidents, then she’s not fully potty trained.)
I’d say, though, that you’ve probably laid a good foundation here! Should be easy to make the transition to your daughter going potty all by herself, when she’s ready for that.
elu says
I started to train my baby girl as early as 7 months old. Now if we saw the sign when she wants to pee or poop when i am going to bring the potty, i said “potty, potty” she will hold it. And she uses after each nap or sleep very well if we follow her. Even if she is sleepy, she is OK with it. She doesn’t wet when she is fall a sleep. What i want to ask is, is that too early for my baby to use potty and does it have any effects on her? Because the pediatrician doesn’t like it. But my baby seemed to enjoy it. She is now 11 months & 2 weeks old. And doing well.