An older, wiser friend once told me, “Baby naps are God’s way of saying to parents, ‘I love you. Now go take a shower.’” Pretty accurate, right? Most parents look forward to naptimes. Ahhhh… Those brief interludes when you can actually pause for breath, do the never-ending chores, or have a little “me” time.
Of course, when it comes to naps, not all babies are created equal, are they? Some of you may have babies who are marathon nappers. They may even provide you with hours of uninterrupted time each day to shower and eat and pay bills and waste spend time on Facebook. Some of us, though, may not be so lucky. You may have a cat-napper who never sleeps for more than 30 or 40 minutes at a time. She may always seem to wake as cranky and exhausted as when she started too. And even if your baby’s sleeping through the night, short naps can still be frustrating, especially if you’ve worked hard for those 30-40 minutes putting baby down in the first place!
Some people recommend the “wake to sleep” method as a way to extend short naps. But does it work? Can your baby’s short naps be lengthened with this technique?
What is the “Wake to Sleep” Method?
Tracy Hogg first introduced the concept called “wake to sleep” in her book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate With Your Baby. Tracy suggests in her book that a number of babies who wake frequently at naptime and at night are habitual wakers. That is, they’re waking out of habit, and not out of hunger or distress. According to Tracy, habitual wakers tend to wake at roughly the same time each night, and they tend to wake from their naps about 30 or 40 minutes after falling asleep.
Does this sound like your baby? If so, she may be a habitual waker. This would explain why her naps are so short, why she often wakes up tired and cranky, and why you just can’t get her on a nap schedule. She’s waking out of habit, and not because she’s actually had enough sleep. It’s not a coincidence, however, that it’s 30 to 40 minutes later. Your baby may not be able (yet) to transition to her next sleep cycle without your help, or she may not expect to be required to do it on her own. She wakes 30-40 minutes because that’s how long her sleep cycle is and some people can set a clock to it!
It’s important to remember that the “wake to sleep” method is used to solve the problem of habitual waking. Before using this method, it’s important to make sure that your baby isn’t waking out of hunger, illness, or discomfort. If you’ve ruled out those causes, however, it’s safe to try the “wake to sleep” method.
How You Can Use the “Wake to Sleep” Method to Lengthen Naps
The idea behind “wake to sleep” is that you’re “supporting” your child through the transition from one sleep cycle to the next. The first 20 or so minutes of a nap are light sleep, or REM sleep. After that, baby transitions into deeper, or non-REM, sleep. It’s during that transition period that babies often wake and aren’t able to get back to sleep.
With the “wake to sleep” method, you lightly rouse your baby (rubbing his back, making shushing sounds, gently tickling his feet, stroking his hair, or simply turning on the light and whispering his name, if he’s a light sleeper) before he begins that transition, and then you help him make the transition, gently easing him into the next stage of deeper sleep.
Should You Use the “Wake to Sleep” Method to Lengthen Naps?
At The Baby Sleep Site, we do our best to empower parents in their sleep training decisions and to remain judgment-free when it comes to offering advice. “Wake to sleep” is obviously a very gentle method that would support a no-cry sleep training philosophy. If you’re a parent with a very young (or newborn) baby, or if you have a strong aversion to any amount of crying, “wake to sleep” might be a good option for you to try. (It doesn’t typically hurt to try!) In those early months (when it’s too soon to begin formal sleep training, but you’re so tired you feel like you might fall asleep driving your precious cargo around), it helps to have every tool available in your toolbox!
One recent client shared with us that she successfully used this method with her son (before seeking our help with her nighttime issues) when he was 2 or 3 months old. He was waking from his naps after exactly 45 minutes of sleep. She said this:
“At the 40 minute mark, I would gently jiggle his Pack and Play so that he would transition from one sleep cycle into the other. I did this for a couple of weeks and it worked…Now, he rarely wakes at the 45 minute mark.”
For her, “wake to sleep” was a nice solution to her problem, especially since her son was still too young for formal sleep training. The “wake to sleep” method can be a good way to help your newborn nap longer.
Although this method works for some families, we generally don’t recommend using the “wake to sleep” method as a way to extend short naps. First, it is risky in that you may inadvertently wake the baby you’ve worked hard at getting to sleep! And, if your baby is anything like Nicole’s, the moment he saw you there, he’d be up! Second, if your baby is taking short naps due to a schedule problem, wake to sleep likely won’t work.
And finally, we don’t want to help our babies create any sleep associations that involve lots of work on our part, whether it’s rocking or nursing the baby to sleep, replacing a pacifier every 15 minutes, or easing the baby through every transition between sleep cycles. Ultimately, the goal is for your baby to learn to fall asleep and stay asleep by herself. Of course, all babies (and parents!) are different. What you mind “doing” at nap time, and how often you do it, will differ from another parent.
Furthermore, many people acknowledge that while “wake to sleep” can work, the results aren’t necessarily permanent, since you aren’t teaching the baby any new habits. You’ve probably heard the old saying, “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for life.” This same principle holds true for many parents using “wake to sleep” to lengthen naps. The “wake to sleep” method may help you extend today’s nap(s), but teaching a baby good sleep habits will likely mean good naps every day.
How To Help Your Baby Take Better, Longer Naps (Once And For All!)
Short or non-existent baby naps can be so frustrating! But you don’t have to suffer through them any longer! We have a ton of nap resources. One of those nap resources is our free guide, 7 Common Napping Mistakes. Are you making any of these common nap mistakes? If so, they may be the cause of your baby’s too-short naps. So download your free guide today, and start putting the tips to use as early as your baby’s next nap!
Special VIP Members-Only Nap Resources
Mastering Naps & Schedules — For starters, all Baby Sleep Site® VIP members receive unlimited access to all our e-Books. That’s right! For the price of your VIP membership, you can read all our e-Books at no additional cost!
This includes Mastering Naps & Schedules. With over 45 sample schedules (all available for you to read in the VIP Members Area), Mastering Naps & Schedules is THE e-Book for tired parents of non-napping kiddos! We tackle all your top napping issues! Topics include how to get your baby or toddler to take longer naps, how to get your child’s naps to be more consistent and predictable, how to manage nap transitions, how to encourage good napping while traveling – and more! Become a VIP member today, and access the e-Book instantly. No download necessary!
Nap Tele-Seminars — Another great VIP members-only resource? Our tele-seminars. Hosted by Nicole herself! These audio seminars offer you insider-information and our trademark sleep coaching philosophies, methods, and techniques. We have several awesome nap-focused tele-seminars, including one that’s all about lengthening naps! Listening to these seminars is like getting a coaching session from Nicole! She’ll walk you through the basics of dealing with common nap problems and give you tried-and-true strategies you can implement at home.
For more details about all our VIP member benefits (including weekly chats with a trained sleep consultant), visit our membership page. Consider becoming a VIP member today!
Personalized Baby Nap Help
While our VIP Members Area is great for DIY moms who prefer to tackle sleep challenges mostly on their own, we know that other parents might prefer to go straight to one-on-one help. Well, good news… We offer that! You can start getting the personal help you need NOW! You can teach your baby a new way to nap. And we can help! We’ve helped thousands of families around the world with their babies’ nap trouble, and we can help you, too! Take a look at our consultation packages, and see which one looks like a good fit for you.
Click here to see all our personalized consultation packages.
Want more information about how personalized help works? Check out our FAQ page here, and get answers.
Did you try Wake to Sleep? What is your experience with Wake to Sleep?
Baby and Toddler Sleep Resources That Work – Guaranteed!
If you are tired of wading through stacks of baby sleep books that just aren't working, if you are beyond exhausted and just can't solve your child's sleep problems on your own...then personalized sleep consulting is for you. We have been around since 2008 and invite you to tap into 10+ years of experience. Our team of expert consultants will create a Personalized Sleep Plan® just for your family and then support you through every step of implementing your plan. We encourage you to consider our personalized, one-on-one baby and toddler sleep consultation packages if you want to see real, meaningful results now. Your consultation package also includes ample follow-up help, designed to help you troubleshoot problems and tweak your plan as needed.
For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3 Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night.
If you’re looking for ways to get your baby or toddler into a healthy sleeping routine during the day, I encourage you to explore Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-tos” of good baby sleep. With over 45 sample sleep schedules and planning worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style.
For those persistent toddler sleep struggles, check out The 5 Step System to Help Your Toddler Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your toddler sleep through the night and enjoy a better daytime schedule.
Or, join our VIP Members Area packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, peer support, and more. It actually costs less to join than buying products separately! As a VIP member, you'll also enjoy a weekly chat with an expert sleep consultant. And the best part - members receive 20% off all sleep consultation services!
Nicole Clancy says
Hi there,
I wanted to ask about a slightly different technique than wake-to-sleep. When my daughter was young she’d wake at the 45min mark of every nap. I used a dummy at this stage and would replace the dummy and pat/shhh her back to sleep. This initially would take up to 40mins but did get quicker but only a handful of times did she make it through a sleep cycle on her own. When she was 4 months we did sleep training and got rid of the dummy after help from this site. She straight away started to sleep longer naps 1.5 to 2 hours at a time!
My question is now I have a new bubba 6 weeks old who is also starting to catnap. He’s less interested in the dummy than his sister was but sometimes does like to suck it to sleep. So (when I’m free of the toddler) I have been trying to get him back to sleep after waking at 45mins. But is it worth it?? Do you think my first child learnt to have longer naps by resettling or would she had started longer naps after sleep training anyway? If I do get the baby up at 45mins how do you keep them happy? He’s not ready for a feed and is just grumpy unless he has longer sleep!
Sorry lots of question! Just trying to work out if it’s worth doing what we did first time round, as naturally it’s much harder to dedicate the time to settling/resettling when there’s a toddler around!
Many thanks, Nicole 🙂
Emily DeJeu says
@ Maddie — this is a great question, and I think I can safely say that your’e not alone here. In my experience (and in the experience of some other moms, I think), getting a baby to sleep well at naptime is harder than getting a baby to sleep well at bedtime.
In terms of how to nap train, you may want to check out our free napping guide (https://www.babysleepsite.com/free-baby-nap-guide/) our our Mastering Naps and Schedules e-book (http://www.babynapswell.com/) Both offer great, practical tips to helping your baby nap well, and Mastering Naps and Schedules contains many sample schedules you can use to tailor your daughter’s nap plan.
Hope these resources help, Maddie! And best of luck to you and your daughter 🙂
Maddie says
Hi, I’m not sure where to post this question about nap training. I have found that there is very little information about nap training out there. We have done CIO for night sleep with success (7-month old daughter). We started nap training after 9 nights of night training (we were down to no crying before bedtime and that has been the case ever since) and nap training has been ongoing for 7 days. It has been much more erratic than night training with some naps involving no crying and others still taking a long time before my daughter goes to sleep. Sleep site folks – can you provide some words of wisdom and encouragement? How long does nap training typically take? By the 9th night of night training, we were already down to no crying before bedtime. Does that ever happen for naps?
Your website has been such a wonderful source of information and strength and I would love to hear from you guys.
Emily DeJeu says
@ [email protected] — I think your comment translates into “Interesting case, thank you very much for your article!” If I’m right, then you’re welcome! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Emily DeJeu says
@ Les — glad to hear your baby’s usually a good napper! Consider yourself blessed 😉 In terms of cuddling him longer during the times when he’s having a hard time falling asleep, I don’t think that’s necessarily “bad.” Cuddling is a beautiful part of being a parent, after all! Just exercise some caution and make sure he doesn’t get into the habit of needing you to cuddle him to sleep for every nap. Sleep associations like that can kind of snowball and become problems. You can read more about sleep associations here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/sleep-association/
Les @ LPN Salary says
Okay, this is the part where I say I am happy to have a baby that sleeps for 2 to 3 hours. Lately, he’s been down to an hour but it’s his growth spurt, so yeah.
The method seems difficult because it really is hard putting a baby to sleep, especially the fussy ones. What I know is if that the little one can’t sleep at times, I’m fine cuddling him longer than usual. Is that bad?
Emily DeJeu says
@ JD — I think you’re right about this working for some but not for everyone. I’ve personally never tried this method with any of my kids, and to me, it seems risky (because, as you mentioned, if you don’t hit the timing of the sleep cycle just right, you end up waking your baby from a sound sleep — bad, bad, bad!) But of course, what doesn’t work at all for some can end up working miracles for others. 😉
Thanks for sharing your insights, JD!
Emily DeJeu says
@ Lacey — thanks for sharing your experience! I know your story is going to be encouraging to other moms who see this comment. Sounds like you educated yourself about good baby sleep habits and then did the hard work of implementing them with your son. And from what I can tell, it sounds like all your hard work is paying off! So glad to hear that your little guy is sleeping well 🙂
JD says
I tried this method a few times for naps, but it didn’t work for me. However I know other ppl for whom it did work!
I think you have to know exactly how long your child’s sleep cycles are so that you aren’t going in too early or too late.
I only tried it a few times (just very lightly stroking my daughter’s hair so that she stirred in her sleep as the whole point is to not wake them up) and then gave up for exactly the reason you mention Emily. It was so much work to *get* her to sleep, I didn’t want to risk waking her up! Which, I did a few times.
Some ppl say you need to do it for about a week or 2 for every nap for it to work, and then spend 20 more mins shhing them back into a deep sleep, but my thinking is, if you do anything for 2 weeks with a baby, they are just going to change anyways in that time, regardless of what a parent is doing. 😉
However, like I said, I only tried it a few times.
I think a good routine and short wake times are probably a better, less stressfull way to go, especially if short naps are occuring in that darn 4-6 month period (or more like 3-7 months if you have a child like mine!). 😉
Lacey says
My 6 mth little boy sounds just like Nicole’s! We have been following this sleep site for some time and the only method that has worked for him was/is putting him down before he is overtired, before he shows tired signs, cuddling him til he is calm then putting him in his sleeping bag in his cot with his comforter. We used to swaddled him but no longer need this. He used to cry for up to an hour or more each and every sleep/nap time but after a few months he is now happy to go to sleep and occasionally even naps for 2 cycles in the day. We tried sleep schools and all different settling techniques but as he was such an alert bub, if we were in the room there was no way he would settle to sleep. He didn’t respond to any patting, shooshing etc. I have no concerns about the crying as he is such a happier bit now that he sleeps more! His nights are improving too, I just have to watch that I don’t feed him to sleep too often or he reverts to waking frequently! I just want to thank nicole for sharing her experience and reassuring me that I am doing the best thing for my bub! Thanks so much!!!!