We all want our babies and toddlers to take long, restorative naps at regular times each day, right? Judging by how popular our nap articles are with all of you, I’m betting you answered ‘Yes!’ to that question!
But here’s something to consider – are the expectations you have for your baby or toddler’s naps unreasonable? How can you be sure that your nap expectations are reasonable, and are in keeping with what your baby or toddler is capable of? Sometimes, when we work with parents who say they are struggling with naps, it turns out that the problem has more to do with mom and dad’s nap expectations, and less to do with their little ones’ napping habits!
3 Signs Your Nap Expectations Are Unreasonable
1. The amount of nap sleep you expect from your baby or toddler far exceeds the average sleep totals that are appropriate for her age.
Think about how much sleep your baby or toddler typically gets at night. Now, think about how much nap time sleep you expect from your little one each day. Add those two numbers together, and then compare them to the following average sleep amounts in a 24-hour period:
- Newborns: 15-18 total hours of sleep
- 1-4 Months: 14-16 total hours of sleep
- 5-8 Months: 13-15 total hours of sleep
- 9-10 Months: 12-15 total hours of sleep
- 11 Months-3 Years: 12-14 total hours of sleep
- 3-5 Years: 11-13 total hours of sleep
How do your totals look? Keep in mind by the time your baby is 4 or 5 months old, the majority of her sleep should be happening at night, and by the time your baby is 6 months old, he will need just a few hours worth of nap sleep during the day.
2. You expect too many naps from your baby or toddler, given his age, and/or you expect the naps themselves to be too long
A baby’s nap needs change A LOT in the first year, so it’s understandable that we parents sometimes have a hard time keeping up with exactly how many naps our babies need, and how long those naps should be. It’s possible that you are expecting too many naps from your baby, or that you are expecting naps that are too long for her age. Take a look at the list below, and compare these totals with your expectations:
- Newborns: Newborns take many short naps throughout the course of a day. Your newborn will spend more time asleep than she will awake, which is normal.
- 1-3 Months: Your baby will take 4-5 naps per day, and each of those naps will usually be about an hour long (give or take 15 minutes or so). Shorter catnaps are considered normal at this age.
- 4-5 Months: Your baby will take 3-4 naps per day. The length of each nap varies, but each nap should be between 45 minutes and 90 minutes long. At this age, your baby needs about 3-4 total hours of nap sleep per day.
- 6-8 Months: Your baby will take 2-3 naps per day, and each of those naps should be about an hour long.
- 9-15(or 16/17) Months: Your baby or toddler will take 2 naps per day (although some toddlers transition to 1 nap around 12 months, we usually recommend that parents try to stick with 2 naps until 15-18 months). Each nap should be at least an hour long – preferably longer. At this age, your baby or toddler needs 2-3 total hours of nap sleep per day.
- 16 (or 17/18) Months-3 Years: Your toddler will nap once per day (although some toddlers give up their naps before age 3, the average age to drop the afternoon nap is between 3 and 4 years old). Your toddler’s afternoon nap should be 1-3 hours long.
- 3-5 Years: Your toddler will likely drop the nap at this point. When that transition happens, you can institute an afternoon ‘rest’ hour in place of the nap.
3. Your expectations about nap timing don’t line up with your child’s morning wake-up and bedtime, or with the average wake time totals for her age.
Along with number and length, the timing of your baby or toddler’s naps matters too – this is important to remember. Be sure that you aren’t squeezing your little one’s naps too close together, and failing to leave enough wake time in between. And make sure you time your little one’s naps around the morning wake-up and evening bedtimes – these two fixed points in your child’s schedule will help ‘set’ the rest of the nap times.
Use the following wake time averages to help you time up your child’s naps with morning wake-up time and bedtime:
- Newborn-2 Months: Wake times should be kept short at this age – between 45 and 90 minutes, generally.
- 3-4 Months: Babies this age can usually stay awake for about 1-2 hours between naps.
- 5-8 Months: The average wake time for babies this age is about 2-3 hours.
- 9-10 Months: At this age, most babies can stay awake for about 3 hours between naps.
- 11-15 Months: Most babies and toddlers this age have wake times of between 3-4 hours.
- 15 Months-3 Years: At this age, toddlers can generally stay awake for about 5 hours.
- 3-5 Years: Most toddlers and preschoolers at this age, who have dropped their afternoon naps, can stay awake for 11-12 straight hours during the day.
How To Create A Reasonable Nap Schedule That Will Work For Your Baby or Toddler
For even more nap and schedule help, check out these members-only resources, found in our VIP Members Area:
- Mastering Naps and Schedules e-Book (unlimited VIP member access at no extra cost!)
- Custom Schedule-Maker (unlimited access – make as many schedules as you’d like! Includes meal times)
- Nap Transitions tele-seminar with Nicole Johnson
- Short Naps tele-seminar with Nicole Johnson
- How To Put Your Child on a Schedule tele-seminar with Nicole Johnson
- 5 Tips To Manage Nap Transitions [EXPANDED VIP MEMBER-ONLY VERSION]
- 5 Tips For Handling Tough Daycare Nap Schedules [EXPANDED VIP MEMBER-ONLY VERSION]
- Day-by-Day Nap Training Plan
- Downloadable Sleep/Nap Coaching Plan Workbook (learn how to create your own nap coaching plan!)
- Printable Sample Schedule Shifts Forward (great for daylight saving time change)
Not a VIP member? Not a problem! Join today, and you’ll receive instant access to our vast online library of sleep coaching resources, including expert live chats and our “Ask the Author” feature!
Get Personalized Baby Nap Help You Can Feel Good About, With The Baby Sleep Site®
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Browse our list of consultation package options here.
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Want FREE nap help that you can put to use right away? Download a copy of our free guide, 7 Common Napping Mistakes! The guide is available to download instantly, which means you can start using the techniques in it as early as your baby or toddler’s next nap. So download now, and learn why your little one is struggling with naps – and what you can do about it.
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Longer, better naps are just a click away. So don’t wait – download now, and start your journey to better sleep right now!
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Mary says
Hi
I have a 7.5 month old that has never slept through longer than 2.5hrs. She is breastfed/partial solids suffers from allergies and tummy problems. I try to get her to self settle by leaving her to play in her cot but she doesn’t seem to realise she needs to close her eyes to go to sleep. I have literally tried everything from hot water bottle, sleepyhead pillow, leaving a jumper, noise machine, star lights etc. we have a bed time routine where she has a bath, story and feed. In bed by 7pm. she usually only sleeps for 40 mins. I have tried controlled crying but that made things worse as she suffered from anxiety. She still wakes up every 1/2 hrs for feeding in the night. By 2.30pm I am shattered and end up co sleeping. It usually will take me an he or more o get her to eventually fall asleep. Please help.
Thanks
Emily DeJeu says
@ Mary – this sounds rough 🙁 No wonder you’re feeling at your wit’s end!! Have you tried any of the strategies laid out in our free guide? You can find it here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-through-night-free-ebook/. However, given how bad this problem sounds, and how exhausted and frustrated you’re feeling, you may want to consider investing in a personalized sleep consultation. You can read more about how that works – and see our consultation packages – here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
Best of luck to you, Mary! Hope these resources help.
Emily DeJeu says
@nonpumelelo — this schedule isn’t necessarily a problem. It’s a bit on the late side (late afternoon nap, and lateish bedtime, but some families prefer that. If you’d rather shift the whole schedule, you can do that – I’d suggest looking at our Shifting Schedules book (https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-waking-too-early/). You could also try getting into the habit of making sure his afternoon naps are all done by at 5 p.m.; that would ensure that he’s not sleeping too late in the evening, which could upset bedtime.
Thanks for commenting -hope this helps! 🙂
@ Kaizad — This nap transition can be tough! He’s at the right age for it, so that may very well be what’s happening. I’d recommend trying to push the time of that morning nap back by 30 minutes or so every day (or every few days) until eventually it’s hitting at noon or so. Then, it will become one long middle-of-the-day nap.
Hope this helps, Kaizad! Thanks for commenting! 🙂
Kaizad says
Hello!
Thank you for your site. It’s been very informative and I enjoy reading the posts. I have a question about my 17 month old. He’s in the transition to 1 nap I think. He wakes up around 630am and I put him down for bedtime between 7-730. He goes to daycare 3/5days and they put babies down at 1pm for nap. I tried doing that but he gets very clingy and cranky by the 4th hour. I’m not sure if he can be awake for 7 hours until his nap time. Is this how it works with transitioning to 1 nap? Or should I listen to him and put him down at 10am. He naps for 1.5 hrs normally. But if he wakes up at 1130 then he’ll be awake for another 7 hours. He doesn’t and work take a 3rd nap. Do you have any suggestions? Thank you so much!
nompumelelo says
my boy is 12 months old, he wakes up at 7h45 – 08h00 and sleeps at 21h00. He naps at 10h00 – 11h30 then he has lunch then another nap 15h00 – 16h00. he naps again for 30 minutes sometimes from 18h00 – 18h30 sometime for an hour but what worries me is that he sleeps very late I have tried putting him down earlier without success; he has started walking so he is all over the house when you try putting him down he cries.
Emily DeJeu says
@ Jessica – sounds like you have a schedule that works for both of you – awesome! Your daughter dropped her second nap a little early, but no harm in that if she’s getting enough rest. All babies and toddlers are different, as Nicole always says. 😉
Thanks for commenting, Jessica!
@ Ann Helen – have you tried either our free nap guide or our nap book? You can find both links above, at the end of the post. Lots of things could be causing the short naps – a schedule problem is likely, but sleep associations could also be a problem, as could hunger.
If you’re really struggling, you might want to consider a sleep consultation, which would allow you to get personalized help from an expert consultant. You can read about our consultations here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
Hope these resources help, Ann! Thanks for commenting, and best of luck to you. 🙂
@ Ingrid – off the top of my head, here are a few things:
1. This could be early-onset of the 18 month regression (https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/why-18-month-sleep-regression-can-be-hardest/)
2. 6 or 6:30 isn’t necessarily early waking, provided he’s getting enough night sleep and nap sleep. So I wouldn’t say that early waking is the issue – sounds like it’s more night waking and possibly a schedule problem. The free guide and e-book I mention at the end of the post would help with a schedule issue.
Of course, if you’re feeling way overwhelmed, you could always consider a personalized consultation, which would allow you to work one-on-one with a sleep consultant (https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/)
@ Kate – so sweet of you to offer some advice to @Ingrid – love that! Sounds like you have some sleep-related woes of your own, though. 😉 Check out the links above – I think those may help you, too.
@ Nikki — no, I wouldn’t worry about this now. She may not give up that nap for awhile yet! And even when she does, what she’ll most likely do is not nap for a day or to, and then nap for the next two or three days. So even as she’s going through the transition, you’ll still get some napping days here or there. You might find this article helpful: https://www.babysleepsite.com/toddlers/toddler-done-napping-3-signs/
Nikki says
My daughter turned 3 in January. She goes to bed between 8:00 and 8:30 and waked up between 6:00 and 6:30. She still takes naps most days. She’s in preschool so we try to keep their schedule at home as well, with a nap from 12 ish to 2 ish. Depending on how long it takes her to fall asleep, she typically sleeps for an hour and fifteen up to two hours. This helps her stay within that 11-13 hours for her age. I don’t know what we’ll do if she cuts out her nap. Because of our work schedules, we can’t really put her down any earlier and we certainly can’t wake her up any later. Should I be worried?
Thank you!
Kate says
Ingrid, I feel for you! It’s so hard when you know your baby isn’t getting enough sleep and you don’t know what to do about it. Based on what I have read, it sounds like your son might be ready to transition to just one nap: he’s at the “right” age for it and his sleep is shifting. I would gradually push his morning nap back (maybe try for a stroller catnap in the late afternoon to get him to bedtime?) and move his bedtime up to compensate for not having an afternoon nap.
But maybe I shouldn’t be giving advice–I moved my 16 month old baby boy to one nap about three months ago…I thought that things were going well, but between earlier sunrises, separation anxiety, teething (maybe? who knows?!), and being a baby, in the last month he has gone from sleeping until 7 or 7:30 to waking before 6. Bedtime has been around 8pm for ages and ages, and his nap is usually about 1.5 hours. I know that sleep needs change as kids grow older, but I can’t really believe that he all of a sudden needs 1-2 hours less sleep per day.
We installed blackout curtains last week. We tried a 15 minute earlier bedtime last night (he woke up from his nap at 1:30–he usually makes it to 2:15!!) and he thanked us (!) by waking up over an hour earlier than his new usual time of 6:30-6:45. We’re trying two naps today because he has to be tired, but I’m running out of plausible solutions. Does anyone else have any?? Thanks in advance 🙂
Ingrid says
Hello!
I have a 16 month old who wakes up between 6-630. I put him down between 7-730pm but because of the sun he doesn’t seem to be sleepy. We have cheap black out blinds but when we open the door to leave the light just blasts into the room. He doesn’t fall asleep until 8 sometimes. He cries most of the time when he wakes up in the morning and that’s how I know that he didn’t have a restful night sleep. He seems to be tired around 10-1030am and he only naps for an hour. For the past couple days he has been skipping his afternoon nap and he could have been awake for 8 hours before his bedtime. It’s terrible! I think it’s too long of an awake window but he doesn’t show his signs of sleepiness. On top of it he recently started waking up 1-2 times in the middle of the night so his night sleep could be a total of 10 hours or less. What needs to be changed? I know he functions well with at least 12 hours of total sleep but he doesn’t even get it. Any suggestions would help. THank you!
Ann Helen says
Hello,
Thank you for this post. I have been concerned about my baby’s naps ever since he was 3 months old. He is now almost 9 months old. I feel like I have tried so many things to prolong his naps and make them more restorative. There was a short period of time when he would nap an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon, with a short catnap in the late afternoon. This happened after he started sleeping through the night ( 7pm to 5-6am). But now, he’s back at his short naps, usually 40-45 minutes. But sometimes as short as 15-20 min. I feel like he is cranky and tired and is not getting the rest he needs (he rubs his eyes and yawns a lot throughout the day), but I’m not sure how to do anything about it. I have tried letting him cry, but that is heartbreaking for me and it usually doesn’t help him fall back asleep. We have a nice schedule and routine and I stick with it regardless of the duration of the naps. He has recently been pulling himself up and I think he is close to learning how to walk. And I’m thinking it is disrupting his napping, as he’d much rather be on the floor practicing his new skills… Do you have any advice for me on how to help him nap better? Even when I did everything ‘right’ (not let him stay up too long at the time, have him fall asleep on his own, keep a routine etc…) he would sometimes still nap only 30 minutes. It’s frustrating, because I feel he needs better naps… Thank you for any input and thank you for this great site that I have referred to a lot!
Jessica says
My daughter is 15.5 months old and takes one nap. She dropped the morning nap a couple of months ago and the afternoon nap moved slightly earlier than it was before. She wakes most mornings around 7. We have lunch at noon and she goes down for her nap around 1. She naps between an hour and a half and three hours. She then goes to bed about 7:30. Seems to work well for us (although I would love for her to give up her night waking! She still wakes many nights to eat around 5am)