The 3 Key Ingredients For Better Baby and Toddler Sleep

Better Baby Sleep 3 Ingredients

I’m no baker-extraordinaire, but I’ve baked enough in my time to know a thing or two about recipes. And I know that when it comes to a recipe for a yummy baked good, there are things I can change and things I most definitely cannot.

For instance, I always substitute unsweetened applesauce for half the amount of oil called for whenever I make muffins or quick breads. But there are also elements to every recipe that you absolutely cannot change, aren’t there? Leave out the salt, for instance, and what you’re baking will not rise. Try to substitute baking soda for baking powder, and yuck!

This is because these are key ingredients – they have to be present in order to produce whatever it is you’re baking. While other ingredients can be omitted, or swapped out for something else, the key ingredients have to be included, and in very specific amounts.

So — what’s all this talk about baking doing on The Baby Sleep Site^®?? Stick with me here. 🙂 You may not have thought about it in these terms before, but did you know that there are also key ingredients to better baby and toddler sleep? It’s true! There are elements of your baby or toddler’s sleep that you can shift, or ‘fudge’ a little, and then there are elements that are critical. They’re ‘key ingredients’, so to speak.

What are these 3 key ingredients? That’s the question we’re tackling in today’s blog article. Let’s take a look!

3 Key Ingredients For Better Baby and Toddler Sleep

1. QUANTITY

This is an easy one to anticipate. Obviously, the amount of sleep your baby or toddler gets each day is critical to his overall growth and development. How much sleep does your baby or toddler need? Here’s an overview:

Newborns to 3 month olds: 10-11 hours at night, 4-5 hours day in 4-5 naps (short naps are common)
4 to 5 month olds: 10-12 hours at night, 2-4 hours day in 3-4 naps (at least two 1+ hour naps)
6 to 8 month olds: 11-12 hours at night, 2-3 hours day in 2-3 naps (two 1+ hour naps and 1 short one)
9 to 17 month olds: 11-12 hours at night, 2-3 hours day in 1-2 naps (1+ hour long)
18 month olds to 3 years: 10-12 hours at night, 1 nap (1 to 3 hours long)
3 to 5 years: 10-11 hours, sometimes 1 nap (1 to 2 hours, usually), but most lose the nap between 3 & 4

Not sure if your baby or toddler is getting enough sleep each day? If your baby isn’t sleeping through the night, it can feel like no sleep is happening at all! 😉 Try keeping a sleep log for a few weeks. This will give you a good record of your little one’s sleeping habits, as well as some sleep averages you can use to determine whether or not enough sleep is happening.

2. QUALITY

This ingredient may be a bit less obvious than the first. While the quantity of sleep is key, so is the quality of your baby or toddler’s sleep. What do I mean by quality sleep? I mean sleep that is deep and restorative, and that lasts long enough to leave your baby or toddler truly rested.

On-the-go sleep, for instance, tends to be lower quality than sleep that happens on a flat, non-moving surface. For instance, a nap taken in the backseat of the car, or in the shopping cart at the grocery store, will be less restorative for your baby or toddler than a nap that happens in bed.

It’s also important to remember that, in general, nighttime sleep is most restorative for your baby or toddler (although your little one certainly needs naps – they’re important, too!). Therefore, if your toddler has shifted sleep from nights to days, and is napping too much while not sleeping enough at night, you’ll want to address that, and shift sleep back to its proper balance.

3. CONSISTENCY

This is probably the most surprising ingredient on our list. What does consistency have to do with how well your baby and toddler sleeps? Well, as it turns out, the consistency of your baby or toddler’s schedule matters.

According to a study published in the journal Pediatrics, children who have inconsistent and varying bedtimes from one night to the next exhibit more behavioral problems than children who have more consistent bedtime schedules.

Here’s what’s really interesting about the study: consistency seems to matter as much as – and perhaps more than – quantity. From an NPR article analyzing the study:

“Children who went to bed after 9 p.m. were rated as having more behavior problems than children who went to bed earlier. That’s no surprise; there’s abundant evidence on the effects of lack of sleep on children’s school performance and behavior.

But irregular bedtimes actually caused worse behavior than short sleep.”

Did you catch that? Inconsistent sleep, according to this study, may actually be a bigger problem than not getting enough sleep. Wow, right? Having a consistent bedtime (and, by extension, a consistent napping schedule as well) makes a big difference!

Here’s something else to consider: according to researchers, toddlers (specifically, 3 year olds) are most likely to have inconsistent bedtimes. By the time children are school-aged, bedtime is usually more consistent. In my opinion, this is quite a wake-up call to those of us who have toddlers at home, and who may be inclined to think that a chaotic evening schedule isn’t such a big deal. (Believe me, I’m talking to myself here, too! 😉 )

So, what does this mean for you? As you think through your goals for sleep, and what you want for your baby or toddler, keep these 3 ingredients in mind. It’s important to make sure that your baby or toddler is getting enough sleep, for starters. But you also need to think about the quality of that sleep – is it happening mostly at home? Is the bulk of your little one’s sleep happening at night? And finally, you need to think about how consistent your little one’s sleep schedule is. If the schedule is erratic and unpredictable from day to day, it’s time to think about building in more consistency.

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For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3 Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night.

Learn More About The 3-Step System

If you’re looking for ways to get your baby or toddler into a healthy sleeping routine during the day, explore Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-tos” of good baby sleep. With over 45 sample sleep schedules and worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style.

Learn More About Mastering Naps

For those persistent toddler sleep struggles, check out The 5 Step System to Help Your Toddler Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your toddler sleep through the night and enjoy a better daytime schedule.

Learn More About The 5-Step System

Join our VIP Members Area packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, and more. As a VIP member, you'll also enjoy a weekly chat with an expert sleep consultant.

Learn More About VIP Membership

Emily DeJeu says

@ Alison – that’s a fair point, I think – causation and correlation are very different things. (That’s one thing I managed to retain from my college stats class! 😉 ) And, to some extent, I think you’re right. But I do think there’s a lot of truth in the notion that consistency is an important factor for high-quality sleep. So much of a child’s sleep is based around predictable patterns – that’s why nap and bedtime routines work well.

As for your daughter’s situation — here’s a word of advice that you can take or leave. I’d suggest that on the days when your daughter naps, you wake her up to ensure that she’s not napping too late in the day. I have to do this with my younger two kids – they both nap sometimes, but not always. But if their naps starts to go too long, I always wake them up, so that we can stay on track for bedtime. As for the early waking — maybe try putting her down for a nap earlier on those days, but again, wake her up if it’s going late. Just some friendly advice, if you do want to try to make bedtime more consistent during this nap transition.

Thanks for weighing in here, Alison — yours was an insightful comment! 🙂

@ Heidi — sounds to me like you’re doing things right, by trying to stick to a routine and trying to limit her naps so that they don’t interfere with bedtime. These are all good steps!

Let me ask – do you want to change this, or is it working okay for you? Sounds like you may be to the point where you’re okay just accepting this, and working with it, which is great! If you do want to work on this, though, we can help. We have a toddler e-book that has lots of good resources (http://www.toddlersleepswell.com).

Thanks for commenting, Heidi, and for sharing a little bit about what you’re dealing with right now. Nice for moms who are in the same boat to know that they’re not alone! 🙂

@ Ingrid – this sounds tough! Do you know if he’s napping well at daycare or not? 45 minutes is a little on the short end for a nap… Is his morning nap longer? That one would ideally be at least an hour.

As for whether or not he’s getting quality sleep – that’s a good question. I don’t think that being a restless sleeper is necessarily a bad sign; that’s probably just the way he’s wired. Do you see any signs that he’s not getting enough sleep? Signs like rubbing eyes/yawning during the day, seeming grumpy or irritable, seeming dazed or ‘hazy’, etc? If not, then he’s probably just fine.

As for the head banging — I wrote an article not too long ago on that very topic. You can find it here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/toddlers/toddlers-weird-self-soothing-behaviors-explained/ Short version – the head banging is nothing to worry about unless your son is actually hurting himself, or unless you think it’s interfering with the quality of life or with his ability to fall asleep/stay asleep. There are some tips in that article on ways you can deal with the banging, if you feel like you need to.

Hope this helps, Ingrid! Thanks so much for commenting. 🙂

Comments

Juliet says

I would also like to see some clarification on what is consistent. I aim for 7pm for my 12 month old, but depending on how the rest of his day has gone he sometimes goes to bed 6.45 or 7.15. Early bedtimes are often recommended, so is earlier than normal more acceptable than later than normal? Babies aren’t robots, so there will always be variation from one day to the next, but how much is considered acceptable?
- Emily DeJeu says
  
  @ Juliet – don’t worry at all that ‘consistent’ means ‘exactly the same every night’ – it doesn’t! We generally tell people to aim for the same 30 minute window each night – so it sounds like you are hitting that perfectly 🙂 I think that when you’re sleep coaching, it’s a good idea to be a little more rigid, since you’re trying to set new habits, but if your guy is sleeping okay, then I’d say this 30-minute window sounds pretty great!
  
  Thanks for coming, Juliet! 🙂
Emily DeJeu says

@ Katharine — I’d say that’s very consistent, especially given your baby’s age! We wouldn’t expect perfect consistency, or anything close to it, at 6 months, since a baby is still sorting out naps and learning how to consolidate sleep at night and stay awake more during the day. So a one-hour window for bedtime is just fine, IMO. What you’ll probably find is that, within the next few months, those naps will sort themselves into more predictable time slots during your day, which will then make it easier to have a pretty regular morning wake-up time as well as a bedtime.

Sounds like you’re a great mom, Katharine! Keep up the good work!! And thanks for commenting 🙂

@ Aly – oh, yes, the jack-in-the-box thing. Maddening, isn’t it? The transition from crib to bed was always tough in my house, because my kids just LOVED popping in and out of bed!! Glad to hear, though, that the help you got through the site worked, and that your little ones are sleeping much better – such good news!

As far as getting them on the same schedule – that’s tough now, but I’ll bet you’ll find that as they get older, their schedules look increasingly similar. Is your 15 month old still on 2 naps, or has she transitioned to one? Once she’s firmly in the ‘one nap zone’, then it should be easier to have your older daughter take a rest during your younger daughter’s nap time, and then (hopefully!) you can get them into bed at roughly the same time.

Thanks for commenting, Ally! 🙂
Ally says

I did notice that the actual study was done in 7 year olds who are not likely to be napping! But the comment was then made that particularly 3 year olds have inconsistent bedtimes and as Alison pointed out that could well be related to the transition to no nap. We are in the middle of that at the moment and getting my daughter to sleep before 9 is near imposible.She is a total Jack-in-the-Box! She is almost 4 and her behaviour is clearly linked to how much sleep she gets! But thanks to some hard work, some help from Nicole and a little bit of luck she and her 15 month old sister both sleep through the night pretty much every night. Wish I could get them in sync though!
Katharine says

How consistent is consistent, as far as bedtime? My 6 month old is still on the program where she can only stay up about 2 hours at a time, so all her naps and sleep times vary depending on when she wakes up each day. But she is almost always going to bed between 6:40 and 7:40. Is that too big of a range to be considered consistent? And if so, how do you recommend getting consistent when we are limited to 2 hours up but all naps are inconsistent lengths?
Emily DeJeu says

@ Alison — I love these ideas! Good for you, for coming up with a system that works. 🙂
Emily DeJeu says

@ Alison – that’s a fair point, I think – causation and correlation are very different things. (That’s one thing I managed to retain from my college stats class! 😉 ) And, to some extent, I think you’re right. But I do think there’s a lot of truth in the notion that consistency is an important factor for high-quality sleep. So much of a child’s sleep is based around predictable patterns – that’s why nap and bedtime routines work well.

As for your daughter’s situation — here’s a word of advice that you can take or leave. I’d suggest that on the days when your daughter naps, you wake her up to ensure that she’s not napping too late in the day. I have to do this with my younger two kids – they both nap sometimes, but not always. But if their naps starts to go too long, I always wake them up, so that we can stay on track for bedtime. As for the early waking — maybe try putting her down for a nap earlier on those days, but again, wake her up if it’s going late. Just some friendly advice, if you do want to try to make bedtime more consistent during this nap transition.

Thanks for weighing in here, Alison — yours was an insightful comment! 🙂

@ Heidi — sounds to me like you’re doing things right, by trying to stick to a routine and trying to limit her naps so that they don’t interfere with bedtime. These are all good steps!

Let me ask – do you want to change this, or is it working okay for you? Sounds like you may be to the point where you’re okay just accepting this, and working with it, which is great! If you do want to work on this, though, we can help. We have a toddler e-book that has lots of good resources (http://www.toddlersleepswell.com).

Thanks for commenting, Heidi, and for sharing a little bit about what you’re dealing with right now. Nice for moms who are in the same boat to know that they’re not alone! 🙂

@ Ingrid – this sounds tough! Do you know if he’s napping well at daycare or not? 45 minutes is a little on the short end for a nap… Is his morning nap longer? That one would ideally be at least an hour.

As for whether or not he’s getting quality sleep – that’s a good question. I don’t think that being a restless sleeper is necessarily a bad sign; that’s probably just the way he’s wired. Do you see any signs that he’s not getting enough sleep? Signs like rubbing eyes/yawning during the day, seeming grumpy or irritable, seeming dazed or ‘hazy’, etc? If not, then he’s probably just fine.

As for the head banging — I wrote an article not too long ago on that very topic. You can find it here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/toddlers/toddlers-weird-self-soothing-behaviors-explained/ Short version – the head banging is nothing to worry about unless your son is actually hurting himself, or unless you think it’s interfering with the quality of life or with his ability to fall asleep/stay asleep. There are some tips in that article on ways you can deal with the banging, if you feel like you need to.

Hope this helps, Ingrid! Thanks so much for commenting. 🙂
Alison says

Heidi, my daughter is the same way. We did make some progress not letting her nap at all (although she still naps at school) and with a sticker chart. What helped us a lot with the sticker chart I think is first doing one for something she was good at and we could remind her about more often (we did saying please). Also I made it a pyramid, and she gets a prize for filling a row with stickers (a few M&Ms); the first row is just one line, then two etc. She now sleeps through a few nights a week, but is still inconsistent. And that is just the way she is I think!
Ingrid says

My 11 month old is a restless sleeper. He also moans a lot in the middle of the night and bangs his head against the crib a lot! He can do this for 1-2 hrs long! Does this mean he’s not getting the quality sleep? I leave him alone until he cries out loud. Is there a way to help him improve the quality of his sleep? His bedtime is at 645 so I’m not sure where I can improve. Naps are 45min-1hr x2. At daycare it’s worst. Thanks!
Heidi says

I agree that these 3 key ingredients are important but still find it a struggle with my 3 year old that we stick to the same routine night after night and yet on average it takes 1-1/2 hours for her to fall asleep! I limit her nap to 1 hour during the day. She still wakes at least once during the night for a drink of water and on a good night she will sleep 10 hours. I have tried numerous different things to try and help her (always making sure to give it enough time before switching anything) but I am to the point that I think this is just the type of sleeper she is!
Alison says

My 3 year old has an inconsistent bedtime because sometimes she takes a nap and sometimes she doesn’t; also sometimes she’s up at 5:30 and other times 6:30 (and this seems independent of bedtime). I suspect that this study was not careful to control for the fact that a lot of kids are in the process of dropping their nap around age 3. It also seems to me that kids with behaviour problems are likely to be harder to get to bed. In other words, I doubt very much that the study shows causation, only correlation, and so we should take the results with a big grain of salt!

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The 3 Key Ingredients For Better Baby and Toddler Sleep