Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.
Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.
Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.

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Reader Interactions


  1. Rachel says

    Hi, my 5 1/2 month old will only sleep during the day if he’s rocked to sleep and as some as you try to put his down he wakes up and won’t go back off again. How can I help him? He doesn’t however need to be rocked to sleep in the evening. I’ve heard mixed views on where baby should sleep for day naps. During day naps, I currently have him sleep down stairs in a light room and there usually background noise and in the evening we do bath and bed routine and he goes down in his crib where it’s dim lighting and quite so he knows the difference between day/night. Is this right? Will it make a difference to how he sleeps?

    • Danielle says

      Hi Rachel,
      Thank you for using The Baby Sleep Site as a resource! It sounds like your baby does have a sleep association to rocking during naps, which is not uncommon for this age. Whenever you want to change the association, you can choose a form of sleep coaching that fits your family and apply it to naps. We have an article series with a bunch of popular methods here:
      so you can find a good fit. It’s generally considered fine to sleep coach any time after 4 months for a healthy baby born on time, but it’s completely up to you when you are ready. I hope this helps!

  2. Holly says


    My baby’s sleep assoation is a bottle of milk that he drinks and drinks him self to sleep but this is becoming a problem as he wakes most nights more then ten times and I am so tired and it’s becomjng really hard for me at night, my baby is now 10 months old and I am looking for solutions to help out with his waking at night, he is on solids and formula milk. Please I would love some advice

    Thank you

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Holly, I am so sorry to hear your son has been waking so much at night for another bottle, we would love to help you. First off, here is a free guide you can download with tips on how to help your baby sleep through the night:
      Since he is waking so many times and you are likely very exhausted, if you are past the point of wanting to do the guesswork and figure this out on your own, I’d highly recommend working with one of our sleep consultants who can take the thinking out of this for you and will write a step by step plan for you to help everyone sleep better and teach you how to handle these wake ups. It of course will still require work from you, but I know when I am exhausted the last thing I want to do is read a million books and try to figure out which one is best for my baby! Our team will look at your child’s sleep history, as well as your parenting philosophies and goals and will help you from there – they want to stick with you until everyone is sleeping soundly! Here is a link to find out more about our Personalized Consultation Packages:
      If you have more questions about that, or need help selecting the best package for your situation, please email us directly to [email protected]
      Hang in there!!

  3. Alexis says

    I am rocking my 8wk old baby to sleep for every single sleep. How do i start to transition out of this habit?

  4. amber Nasir says

    hi!so my little one is 9mo today.she used to be such a good sleeper but since she turned 8m,she wakes up at night and wouldnt stop crying until i hold her tightly and hug her to sleep.this was never the case before!she doesnt need feed or rocking.i cant sleep while holding her!n then she refuses to go back to her cot. please help a tried mommy!

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Amber Nasir, thanks for writing to us! I’m sorry to hear your daughter has regressed recently and has been struggling with going to sleep on her own! Here is a link to a free guide that may have some tips that can help you troubleshoot:
      If things still persist and you need more help, please let us know. We have a lot of other options and we can work through this every step of the way with you if you’d like! For more information please contact us directly at [email protected]. I hope this helps! Hang in there!

  5. Rachna Devi says

    My 9 month old wakes 2-3 times during night and sometimes every 2 hours..i usually nurse him before bed and he sleeps, evry time he wakes up during night i have to nurse him back to sleep. It become a habit now. I tried to let him go back to sleep by himself but he starts crying untill i don’t start feeding him. I am not sure if its ok or should i change his habit. Some people suggested to feed him solid to make him full so that he doesn’t wake up. I teued that too but didn’t work.

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says

      Hi Rachna! Thank you for writing to us, and I am sorry that your 9 month old is waking so frequently at night! As you likely read in this article, your little one likely has sleep associations and needs some help learning to sleep without nursing back to sleep, in order to sleep in longer stretches. As you also noticed, starting solids will not really help if he is waking wanting to nurse, but one of our expert sleep consultants would love to take an in depth look at his sleep history and details about his day and night sleep and can help with 100% personalized and customized help for getting on track. If you would like to change this habit, we would be happy to help, but “if” you change things is completely up to you! If you are “okay” with waking so often to feed him, and he and you are both doing well, then there is no need to change. However, if you are worried about his sleep and development and/or yours, please do consider working to change this habit.
      If you find that you would like more help, you can read about all of our sleep consultation packages here:
      Hang in there Rachna!

      • Sarah says

        This is exactly the same as me and my 8 month old son.
        Have you found something that has helped with your son sleeping through the night Rachan?
        I would love to hear from you.

  6. Cole says

    Hello, I have recently just stopped giving my son bottles of milk during the night (he’s 17 months old). He was relying on them to get him back to sleep at night, sometimes up to about 6 times.
    It was becoming ridiculous, so much so he wasn’t really eating much during the day. So I decided it was time for him to go ‘cold turkey’.

    It’s day 4 and he’s now learning to self soothe himself back to sleep, however, we share a room and every time I try to go to bed, he wakes. Or if I’m in bed already and he wakes, he won’t go back to sleep!? I’m now extremely stuck on what to do as their’s only so many nights I can share a bed with my 5year old or sleep on the sofa!

    Thanks in advance, sorry for the long post.

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Cole, thank you for writing to us. I’m sorry you’ve been struggling with your son’s sleep, but good job helping him wean from the bottle. This is for sure tricky to share a room with a baby, especially because he knows you are right there. Here is an article with some tips on how to help with this transition while sharing a room:
      I hope this helps! If you need anything else be sure to let us know and we can send you more information. 🙂

  7. Jane says

    My 8 month old sleeps very well at night; falls asleep basically on his own, gets himself back to sleep if he wakes, and gets 11-12 hours of sleep. Our problem is naps during the day. He will take 4-5 naps that only last about 30 minutes, and putting him down is impossible so he just sleeps in my arms. I’m not really put out by this, but it would obviously be nice to have some baby-free time. How can I get him to take longer naps on his own? Should I just lengthen time between naps to get him more tired? Please help!

    • Neosha says

      @Jane – Thank you for reading and for sharing. Such good news to hear that your little guy, overall, sleeps so well!! 🙂 Naps at this age can be a bit tricky, for sure. We don’t have enough details to give you a firm suggestion as many things could be throwing off his naps – associations, schedule, feedings, external environment, etc., but you can consider working directly with one of our sleep consultants to help you work through these details to zero in on the issue and create a schedule and plan that works for your family. And, if you haven’t yet signed up for our free common nap mistakes e-guide, check it out here: And be sure to keep up with our sample schedules as your little guy grows: Hang in there, Jane!

    • Katie says

      My 6 month old has the EXACT same problem! She sleeps about 11 hours at night but does not seem talkie to nap in her crib during the day. When she does, after lots of crying, she only naps for about a half hour. We’ve tried many things and will keep trying!

      • Jory says

        Your babies might associate the crib with the long 12 hour sleep so they don’t want to sleep there during the day, for fear they would have to stay there for a long time. To solve this, we put our baby down in a bassinet in a different room for his naps so he knows that room in for napping, and his cot is for the long night sleep.

  8. Leat says


    My 4.5 month old only wants to be nursed to sleep. This includes naps and nighttime/bedtime, which results in short naps and frequent night wakings. I’m aware of the 4 month sleep regression, and we’re definitely experiencing it. I just don’t know how to identify when it will end and can’t foresee her not nursing to sleep even after it’s ended. Any tips for how to break the habit/sleep association? She cries so much when i take her off the breast once she’s done eating and is only comfort sucking herself to sleep. it breaks my heart

    Sleepless momma

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says

      Hi Leat,
      Thank you for writing to us! I am sorry that you and your family are experiencing some troubles with sleep! As you have read, this is a common area of sleep trouble, and unfortunately, many babies will not “go back” to sleeping better once the 4 months sleep regression starts. As you suspect, it sounds like it is time to start teaching your little one how to fall asleep on her own/without feeding to sleep! The good news is that you can teach her gently, and work on minimizing her tears! I’d like to recommend our Members Area, which gives you access to all of our e-Books as well as tele-seminar recordings, case studies, and do-it-yourself tutorials. The Members Area subscription will also “grow” with your baby, and be relevant for many months and years, should you choose to still use it! My favorite feature is the access to “members only” expert chat sessions, where one of our sleep consultants will answer your specific questions live via chatroom! The Members Area subscription is very affordable, and available in sizes to fit all budgets. Members also receive 20% off of ALL personalized sleep consultation services, should you find that you would like more personalized assistance.
      You can read more about our Members Area here:

  9. Anusha says

    My 8 month old wakes up too many times at night and wants to be held and rocked back to sleep. Sometimes needs his mama only. We have set bedtime routine where I give him a bath and then a bottle on my rocking chair and he dozes off after he finishes his bottle. He sleeps fine for a couple of hours but cries and wakes up wanting to be held again. We do hold him for a few minutes and put him down but he wakes up again after a few minutes. So we end up going back to rocking him on the chair for at least an hour with no guarantee he won’t wake up after that when put down.
    In the mornings he gets a couple of naps but a total of not more than 3 hours and he’s rocked to sleep in the morning as well. He starts day care in a couple of weeks.
    I would really appreciate some help with sleep associations and helping my baby learn to self sooth himself. We have not tried cry it method but I’m sure it will be very difficult because he’s a very persistent baby. He once cried for 2 hours non stop while his dad was holding him because he wanted his mama to hold him put him to sleep.
    We hardly get proper sleep and it’s wearing us out. Please advise and thank you in advance.

    • Janelle Reid says

      @Anusha, thank you for writing to us. I am so sorry to hear you’ve been struggling with little sleep from your son. We have a free guide that goes into more detail on how to help break those sleep associations to get your baby sleeping better at night that you can download here:
      I hope this helps, but if you find you need more help you may find you want to work one-on-one with a sleep consultant that can help you get the sleep you all desperately need! For more information on that, you can read about it here: and feel free to email us directly at [email protected] if you have any other questions.
      I hope this helps, hang in there!!

  10. Catherine Hill says

    My 16w old self settles every day nap and bedtime. We have a great bedtime routine and she is put down awake and nods off on her own with little to no fuss, I usually start this by her being awake 1.5-1.45 seems to work well as her awake time and she she naps 1-3 hours at a time. However from that 930/10pm wake we are up every 2 hours and she wants food. I don’t know what else to change! She goes back to sleep easily after food. Is she asleep to long in the day? She’s such a happy baby but I’m tired!!!

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says

      Hi @Catherine – Thank you for writing to us! It it great to hear that your baby is putting herself to sleep at naps and bedtime! This is a really good start to really good sleep! We do see that many babies struggle more with putting themselves back to sleep in the night when they wake, so you are not alone, and we certainly understand how tiring those many wakings can be! if you are concerned that she may be sleeping too much in the day, take a peek at our free suggested schedule for 4 month old babies:
      She may need help stretching those night feeds, and that is something that we can definitely help with! Please contact us if you find that you would like one on one help with this, and hang in there!