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Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.
Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.
Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.

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  1. Susan says

    Hi again, I tried to edit my above comment but I guess it didn’t go through. I was just wondering– do you think he is resisting his third nap because his first two naps are too long? They usually total 3.5-4 hrs. I am wondering if he essentially has “run out” of nap sleep early on, and therefore resists the third nap, which causes him to be overtired by nighttime? Thank you!!

  2. Susan says

    Hi there,

    Is it possible to be nap trained but not night trained?

    We sleep trained our baby at 5.5 months, and I believe it was successful as our baby can now soothe himself to sleep (for the most part). He is now just over 6 months and sleeps straight through from 7:30-8pm til 6-7 am with no wakings. However, I am very confused because he goes down great for his first two naps (the first is about 1.5 hrs after waking up in the morning, and the second is about 1.5-2 hrs after waking from the first nap), but absolutely REFUSES to go down for his third nap. Sometimes I can get him to sleep 30 minutes, which is great. However, it is always a battle to get him to sleep for the night. I do a whole routine (bath, bottle, etc) but he will scream bloody murder for anywhere from 20-45 minutes before going to bed at night. I know that he is able to self-soothe because he does it for naps, and I see him doing it in the middle of the night when he briefly wakes. I suspect that he is overtired b/c of either the missed third nap or the fact that the third nap is usually 3 hrs after his second nap (b/c he resists it so much. On days when he misses his third nap, I try to put him down early (5:30-6 pm), but then he will only sleep for 30 minutes (essentially, it just becomes his third nap), and then he will wake up and go to bed extra late on those nights.

    I thought that nap training was harder than night training, but I’m having the opposite problem! Can you help??? It is so hard to hear him scream when I know he is fully capable of going to bed + he is clearly tired + I need to make dinner/am generally pooped by the end of the day!

    Thanks in advance!!

  3. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Stephanie Barker — glad you asked! Figuring out appropriate amounts of breast milk and solid foods can be tough. I’d suggest you check out this chart: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-solids-how/solid-food-feeding-schedule/ It lays out what kinds of solid foods your 12 month old can eat, as well as recommended breast milk/formula and solid food amounts.

    Hope this helps, Stephanie! And thanks for commenting. 🙂

  4. Stephanie Barker says

    Sorry to post this on this slightly unrelated article, but I’m trying to fine tune my 12 month old’s schedule – he currently goes to sleep by 7pm, naps twice a day and is up between 5am-6.30am. I’m trying to get it back to where it used to be, which was a constant 6.30am. 7am would be better but I’ll take 6.30am if I have to 😉

    Anyway, my question is how many milk feeds should my son be having at 12 months old? The 11 month old schedule lists 4 milk feeds, whereas the 12 month schedule doesn’t specify between solid food and milk. I’m pondering this because he doesn’t eat much solid food and I’m wondering if he’s having too much milk – if there is such a thing.

    Currently, he’s having a bottle when he wakes, BM before his nap at 9am [time dependant on when he woke – but usually 3 hours after waking], a bottle before his 2pm nap and BM at bedtime.

    Any thoughts anyone has would be warmly received.

    :))

  5. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Kate B — fabulous, fabulous advice! I love this. Thanks so much for reaching out to Leila, and for sharing these practical, tried-and-true tips with her. I love it when moms reach out to each other and help one another via the blog comments!

    Thanks for extending your sympathy and suggestions to Leila, Kate. Its moms like you who help make this site the excellent resource that it is! 🙂

  6. Kate B says

    Leila, I feel your pain!

    Like Emily said, I would definitely check out the nap guide. I actually joined the site and read the naps and schedules book, too.

    I’m still working on naps with my little guy (who’s only about a week older than your baby), and we’re having some success. This is great, especially because he sounds like your son: short naps and I am a HUGE distraction for him at naptime.

    The success that we’ve had has come from starting his nap routine about an hour after he got up from his last nap, which means that he’s averaging about an hour and 15 minutes between naps. He does cry for a few minutes after I put him in his crib, but he cries way longer and harder if I stick around or if I go in to try to help (believe me, I have tried a lot of things!). If he doesn’t sleep after 20 minutes (or if he’s screaming!), we skip the nap and try again in another 30 minutes. So far, it has always worked the second time around.

    Of course, every baby is different, but maybe there’s something in our experience that could help you. The short wake time seems important, even though it means he sometimes takes 6 (!) naps a day.

  7. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Leila Laws — this definitely sounds like a problem; no wonder you’re worried!

    Have you checked out our free napping guide yet? You can access it here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/free-baby-nap-guide/ That would be an excellent place to start; it offers some good, hands-on tips for extending short naps.

    If you needs more help, or if you’d prefer to have someone walk you through the nap training process, you could try a sleep consultation: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/

    Hope these options prove useful to you, Leila! Thanks for commenting. And do check in to let us know how it’s going.

    Best of luck to you! 🙂

  8. Leila Laws says

    Hello!

    My 14 week old son hardly naps at all. He gets perhaps 1 hour total ALL DAY, and never sleep longer than 30 mins. He tends to wake after 30 mins and cannot get back to sleep. I leave him to try to get him to ‘self settle’ but he gets worked up and when he sees me he gets even more worked up and never, ever goes back to sleep. I think this is happening because he can’t transition from light to deep sleep and so is habitually waking after the same amount of time each time… However, he doesn’t have this problem at night. He is very overtired and cranky and his nightime sleep is pretty disturbed because of this (I think).

    Can anyone help? I know he’s young and I wouldn’t worry about this other than the fact he does get overtired and he gets such little sleep.

    Thanks x

  9. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Kate B — good question! Since your son’s still so young, I wouldn’t recommend trying to extend the naps using any kind of sleep training method. You’ll want to wait a bit longer before jumping in to sleep training.

    The methods you’re trying (rocking, etc.) are fine, although it sounds like they’re not working particularly well for you!

    Here’s something you could try: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/wake-to-sleep-help-baby-short-naps/ Some parents have success using the ‘wake to sleep’ method to extend their babies’ short-ish naps. Doesn’t work for everyone, and it can be a bit of work for mom or dad, so you may not like it. But something to consider, at least.

    Thanks for asking, Kate! And if you use this method, let us know how it works out for you. 🙂

  10. Kate B says

    Emily (and others reading this article!), I have another question: Should I bother to try to extend my son’s naps?

    He’s three months old and usually naps for 35 minutes. Sometimes he wakes up cheerful, and sometimes not so much! I’ve tried bouncing/rocking him back to sleep, but it rarely works and even when it does, he usually only gets another five minutes or so. But sometimes he looks so tired!

    Thoughts?