Sleep training, or teaching your baby healthy sleep habits, can be confusing and frustrating. One of the most popular sleep training methods is The Ferber Method, also known as Ferberizing or graduated extinction. This method involves letting your baby cry at increasingly longer intervals until they are sleeping through the night and taking longer naps. Here’s everything you need to know about this sleep training method.
What is The Ferber Method?
The Ferber Method was developed by Dr. Richard Ferber, the director of The Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders, at Children’s Hospital Boston to help your child learn to sleep better. The method is outlined in detail in his book, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems but if you don’t have time to read a book with 464 pages, here’s everything you need to know about Ferberizing.
This method is designed to help teach your baby or toddler how to self-soothe, sleep in longer stretches or through the night, and take longer naps. The main difference between this method and Cry-It-Out (or Extinction when you stay out of the room completely) is that you support your baby or toddler during the learning process by visiting them at increasing intervals for a period of time. I will outline a couple of example sessions below in more detail.
FREE E-Book: 5 Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night
Age to Use The Ferber Method
The best age for The Ferber Method is around 6 months old before your baby is sitting up and standing up. However, you want to wait until you stop swaddling your baby.
Some families start at 4 months old during the 4-month sleep regression while others wait until over a year old. There isn’t a “right” or “wrong” time and you know your baby best! However, I generally do NOT recommend The Ferber Method for babies younger than 3-4 months old. Of course, every situation is different and there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach that will work for everyone.
You may also be interested in:
How Does The Ferber Method Work?
First, as with any sleep training method, you start by laying a healthy foundation for sleep. This means going through your pre-sleep training checklist, making any necessary changes to your baby’s sleep and feeding schedule, and having a way to keep track of the time. I cannot emphasize enough how the right schedule will make sleep training so much easier (and sometimes avoids sleep training altogether!).
Once you’ve laid the groundwork, you can start Ferberizing. Here’s the step-by-step process:
- Do your bedtime routine ending with a consistent phrase or song.
- Lay your baby or toddler down drowsy but awake.
- Leave the room (or sit in a chair if you prefer to try to stay in the room).
- If your child starts to cry, start your timer. If your child is not crying, no need to start the timer.
- Once the timer goes off, go check-in and offer comfort. Be sure to stop soothing and/or leave while your child is still awake.
- Repeat the check-in and comfort process with different intervals until your baby or toddler falls asleep.
But, what intervals should you use?
Which intervals to use can depend a lot on your baby’s intensity, how persistent they are, and your comfort level with crying. Some babies fuss a little while others scream their heads off. The book suggests starting with intervals at 3 minutes, 5 minutes, then 10 minutes. And, each day/night you are supposed to increase each of those intervals by 3-5 minutes. Here are a couple of examples for different temperament babies:
Mild-mannered Easy-going baby
- Day 1 – Check 1: 3 minutes, Check 2: 5 minutes, Check 3+: 10 minutes
- Day 2 – Check 1: 5 minutes, Check 2: 8 minutes, Check 3+: 12 minutes
- Day 3 – Check 1: 8 minutes, Check 2: 12 minutes, Check 3+: 15 minutes
- Day 4 – Check 1: 10 minutes, Check 2: 15 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes
- Day 5 – Check 1: 12 minutes, Check 2: 18 minutes, Check 3+: 25 minutes
- Day 6 – Check 1: 15 minutes, Check 2: 20 minutes, Check 3+: 25 minutes
- Day 7 – Check 1: 20 minutes, Check 2: 25 minutes, Check 3+: 30 minutes
Intense Spirited Baby
- Day 1 – Check 1: 3 minutes, Check 2: 5 minutes, Check 3+: 8 minutes
- Day 2 – Check 1: 5 minutes, Check 2: 8 minutes, Check 3+: 10 minutes
- Day 3 – Check 1: 8 minutes, Check 2: 10 minutes, Check 3+: 12 minutes
- Day 4 – Check 1: 10 minutes, Check 2: 15 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes
- Day 5 – Check 1: 12 minutes, Check 2: 18 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes
- Day 6 – Check 1: 15 minutes, Check 2: 18 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes
- Day 7 – Check 1: 15 minutes, Check 2: 18 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes
Why does this work?
The idea is that you are supporting your child as they learn a new skill. Just like they will fall on their bottom many times before actually learning to walk, they will have some failures until they succeed. By allowing them time to self-soothe, you are breaking the habit of them needing you to put them to sleep.
You may also be interested in:
How Long Does The Ferber Method Take?
Generally speaking, most babies will cry for an hour or less but there are a few persistent babies who cry for longer periods (1-2 hours) the first 2-3 nights. Many people will start to see progress within 3-4 nights though that doesn’t mean you will be “done.” If your baby is crying for over an hour for more than two nights, consider reevaluating your schedule or addressing the 5 things we recommend you do before you Ferberize.
I typically recommend being consistent for at least 1-2 weeks since it takes time to make new habits and every day might be a little different with your schedule and other variables.
If you’ve been sleep training for more than two weeks, that would be cause for us to look into other reasons your baby is crying for long periods of time. Keep in mind that some babies will continue to cry for a few minutes (5-10 at the most) long-term. Anything more than that, and I’d say it isn’t working.
You may also be interested in:
What About Night Feedings?
In the book, Dr. Ferber says to NOT feed your baby at night after 3-4 months old. Keep in mind that, based on my 13+ years of experience as a sleep consultant working with families personally, when a baby can sleep all night without feedings varies significantly especially if you are breastfeeding. Therefore, if you plan to implement The Ferber Method exactly as outlined without night feedings, then I recommend you wait until your baby is capable of going 11-12 hours without consuming milk. Many families can still use The Ferber Method even continuing to feed at night once or twice, though.
You may also be interested in:
What About Naps? Are Those Different?
Day and night sleep are handled by two different parts of the brain, so we typically address naps separately from nighttime sleep. The main difference with using The Ferber Method for naps is we put a limit of one hour to the sleep training session. If your baby hasn’t fallen asleep, we typically take a 1-hour break and then try again. Different babies need different approaches but this works for the majority of situations.
Nap training often does take longer than nights, though. Plan to commit to two weeks of consistency for optimum results.
You may also be interested in:
What About Separation Anxiety and Is This Method Flexible?
Definitely! The best sleep training methods are those that you can adapt to fit your needs and circumstances. You can increase or decrease the amount of time between your check-ins as needed. You can also use the same check-in intervals for several days at a time, for example.
Babies go through peaks and valleys for separation anxiety beginning around 7 months old. If you are concerned your baby is going through a peak, consider waiting to sleep train, having shorter intervals, or consider sleep training while staying in the room. You can implement this same method by sitting on a chair in the room.
Be aware, however, that some children get really frustrated if their parents stay in the room during sleep training. It can be very confusing to have mom or dad so close by but not offer comfort or put the baby to sleep. Of course, the check-ins allow you to reassure your baby periodically, teaching them that whenever you leave, you come back, which is the primary reason for separation anxiety in the first place.
Finally, HOW you offer comfort during your check-ins is flexible, too. Some families prefer to soothe just with their voices, while other families will pat their babies’ heads, rub their backs, etc. Other families prefer to pick their children up briefly. All of these can work, provided you don’t inadvertently end up putting your child to sleep during one of your check-ins That’s what your child is supposed to be doing on her own! The key is to find the right approach for your baby. The first few nights are usually the worst no matter what strategy you choose.
Is The Ferber Method Harmful?
In general, The Ferber Method is considered safe and not harmful to your baby. Crying for small durations of time with periodic reassurance from parents will not cause long-lasting damage. However, keep in mind that it is important to be “fixing” the right problem.
There are many reasons a baby wakes at night and letting a baby cry for many hours when he is hungry or sick would NOT be the right thing to do. There is a difference between letting a 4-month-old cry to get him to sleep 12 hours without eating when some 4-month-olds still need two nighttime feedings versus a 12-month-old waking every hour simply to be held at night and everything in between.
I strongly recommend that you view your baby’s sleep from a holistic perspective and ensure you are setting her up for success. You should look at the entire daytime schedule, feedings, health, etc. Lay the proper foundation and sometimes very little crying is necessary to help her sleep through the night!
The Ferber Method: Making It Personal
This article offers a general overview of how the Ferber method works – but putting this sleep training method into practice may be tough indeed! Many families wonder how to cope with the crying and fussing between check-in intervals, or how long to do the check-in process each night. If you want a more personalized approach to The Ferber Method, we can give you just that. Connect with one of our expert consultants; she’ll walk you through every step of sleep training and will provide detailed answers to your most pressing sleep training questions.
Purchase a sleep consulting package today, and connect with your expert sleep consultant!
Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information. You’ll be able to log in and get started immediately!
Elona says
So my boy is 6 months old, and I decided now is a good time to sleep train our son. But he now can rollover on his tummy, if he starts crying should I flip him back on his back? Or leave him as is? He doesn’t know how to roll back to his back once he’s on his tummy? Second question, as soon as baby starts crying do I walk in the room right away or first wait the 3 mins before walking in to reassure little one?
Danielle says
Hi Elona,
Thanks for your questions! The issue with rolling is a common one, and we actually have an article on it that I think will help you a lot: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-comfort/baby-rolling-over-in-sleep/
I think you’re asking specifically about coaching with the method in this article, and if so, then yes, you would come in after 3 minutes the first time on the first day. Good luck!
Candice says
Hello! I have an 8.5 month old that won’t fall asleep on her own and needs help to fall back asleep overnight. Am hoping to start sleep training this weekend. My question is: if she sits up or stands up during one of the intervals do we leave her until the timed interval is up? Or should I be going in to lay her back down?
Thank you!!
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Candice –
Thanks for writing to us! I hope sleep training goes very smoothly when you start this weekend! it’s great that you are thinking and planning ahead! You can try either way! YOu may not want to lay her back down every 30 seconds, so might want to put a limit on how often you will go in! Many parents will wait for the timed interval to go in and lay baby back down, while others will go in before this. Find what works for you, and what helps your baby stay the calmest! If you need any help coming up with a solid plan to follow, please contact us for more info! Good luck!
Maryam says
Hi @ Candice,
Please pardon me for adding my question to your post.
My baby is exactly 8.5 months old and we started sleep training last night. It wasn’t fun as you could imagine and yes he stood up right after we left the room and cried the whole 10 minutes until we got back and laid him back down.
My question is that what if my baby cannot lay down by himself? My son started standing up recently and seems to be pretty excited about it. I never saw him sit from standing position unless he fells. I am wondering if he can do it deliberately or not. Last night it took him 1 hour at the beginning of the night and 1 hour early morning and both times he fell back sleep when we stayed in the room for 3-4 minutes and rubbed his back. Is this the right approach or we should have left the room more quickly no matter what.
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Maryam –
Thank you for writing to us about your baby! YOu mentioned the first night of sleep training being pretty tough, and I am sorry to hear that. I hope that things are getting better!! It is very common for little ones to need some help getting back to laying down after standing! You can always help him practice sitting back down from a standing position during awake time so he’ll master that skill! Every baby is different, so if you need to stay and help him, and that helps him and you, that is fine! If you’d ever like more help with this, please contact us for more info! Thanks Maryam!
Erin says
We started the Ferber Method last night and we are also implementin it during daytime naps. She has only been taking 30 minute naps since two months old, and getting 11-12 hours at night with two wake ups. She is now 8 months old and her lack of sleep was wearing one her and me. Everything was okay until we began to transition from 3-2 naps and I fear some seperation anxiety. The issue we are having is,when we go in to consol during our time intervals, we do not pick up but rub and stroke and sing for a minute or two and leave. She still cries hysterically without letting up. Should we be picking be her up, or is this normal? The reason we needed to sleep train was because of a strong rocking and bouncing to sleep sleep crutch. I just don’t want to harm her or damage her (nervous first time mama). Please help!
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Erin – Thanks for writing and sorry to hear that your sleep training is not going smoothly!! We know how nerve-wracking this is – especially for first time parents who haven’t “been there” before! Some families find that picking up baby helps calm them a little, while others find it makes them more upset. You may want to give her a for a week of what you are doing, and you might choose to try changing things up and compare, and see how she responds best! Good luck Erin, and please contact us if you need any further assistance! We have tons of resources available and are here to help!
Katie Burt says
Hi, I have a 3 month old who will not sleep unless held. Wanting to try this method to encourage her to sleep independently in her crib. We have tried everything else to get her to sleep not being held with no success.
Thanks,
Katie
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @ Katie – Thanks for reading and for taking a minute to write! We hope that things go well! Good luck!
MammaDee says
Our son is 19 months old (16 months adjusted), and we made the mistake of bringing him to bed with us during his 9-month regression. We have now been sleep training him for the last 7 days to get him back into his crib. We’ve seen good progress with bed time (he is usually asleep in less than 15 minutes), but he wakes up in the middle of the night wanting juice and to be picked up. We live in an apartment, so crying it out at 1:30 or 3:30 in the morning is not an option. We start his bedtime routine between 7:00 and 7:30, and he takes 1 long nap between 1:00 and 2:00. He does not nap in his crib but tends to go down without much assistance. Any recommendations for minimizing the mid-night waking/crying?
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @MammaDee!
Thanks for writing to us! Sorry to hear that you’re struggling with night wakings, but it sounds like you’ve made great progress on bedtime, and that naps are going well too! Keep it up Mamma!! Keep reaching for your sleep goals, and perhaps you can switch to a gentler sleep coaching method for those lingering night wakings to keep the crying to a minimum? Here’s a link to an article that can help:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/5-baby-sleep-training-methods-explained/
If you need specific help with a schedule and plan for night sleep, please contact us for more info on our offerings! Good luck and thanks again for writing!
Lisa Barfield says
Please help!! I used the Ferber method with my boys who are now 15 and 21 years old. I am babysitting my great niece every day. She is almost 9 months and has slept through the night since about 6 weeks old. The problem is regarding her naps. The room is dark just like her room at home and she has a sound machine for white noise on. She usually falls asleep while taking her bottle and then goes right down for her nap. But she will only sleep for about 20 to 30 minutes. I usually go in and tap her back for just a minute and she falls back asleep. But now she starting to not want to fall back asleep. And of course she is sleepy and cranky when I pick her up. If I rock her she will go back to sleep, but will wake up as soon as I try to put her back down. She will easily sleep two hours if I rock her the whole time. This morning, I let her cry it out when she woke up, and she only cried for about eight minutes, with a at five-minutes check in. Should I let her cry it out again if she wakes up 20 minutes later? I’ve got to get her on a better schedule, for both of our sanity’s sake!
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Lisa – Thanks for writing to us about your great niece! How great that you get to spend time with her every day! It sounds like you’ve got a good plan to help her with her short naps, and this article may also give some helpful tips:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-naps-2/short-baby-naps-explained/
She fell back to sleep pretty quickly that first try, so hopefully things continues to go well and she did not wake again after 20 minutes?! She sounded tired and ready to fall back to sleep. In those cases, yes, give her a chance to fall back to sleep on her own. Hope things are going well Lisa!
Kate says
Hello! We have a 7.5 month old and are in serious need of a little assistance. We have tried the ferber method in the past and it was working, and then it stopped working so we stopped using it. However now he’s regressed even more and wakes up about every hour. He was needing to “eat” at all hours of the night but ended up just suckling-not eating- so we gave him a pacifier. Now I fear we made things worse for everyone because if the pacifier falls out of his mouth, he instantly wakes up. Please HELP! We have a nighttime routine and he sleeps fine during the day. At night is a whole other problem.
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Kate – Thanks for writing! I am so sorry to hear that your little guy is waking every hour! That is SO tough! Yes, you may have replaced the feed to sleep association with the pacifier, and if he needs that replaced every hour, you may want to now work on that! We have some free articles on our blog about pacifiers, if you use the search bar at the top right you can search for those, and these may help determine if it is time to wean the pacifier at night and how to do it! For more help, I would really recommend working one on one with one of our expert sleep consultants, so that she can help and make a complete plan for you to follow. You can read about all of our sleep consultation packages and purchase directly online here:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services
Please let us know if you have any questions! Hang in there Kate!!
Lauren Young says
Hi,
Desperate for help. My 7 month old does not know how to fall asleep without being breastfed, rocked, or with pacifier. His naps are inconsistent and far from predictable. At night he wakes every 30 min to every 90 min. I try not to nurse unless it’s been 3-4 hrs since the last feeding. But often, I’m so wiped I end up nursing. He’s not interested in solids so it’s mostly milk right now. I feel like he’s been teething for months, plus I think there may be seperation anxiety mixed in. I just don’t know what to do or where to start. Any advice?
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Lauren – Thank you for writing us. I’m sorry to hear your family is having sleep problems and your son is struggling with sleep! Waking every 30-90 minutes is SO brutal! Hang in there Lauren. You’re not alone and we would love to help!
We welcome you to continue to peruse our blog with over 300 articles or, if you prefer to bypass some of that, we have e-Books and premium resources available where the research has been done for you. Or, for the fastest service, and the most support, we have expert sleep consultants who can help you every step of the way! I do believe you could benefit from one of our Personalized Sleep Consultation packages. In our consultations, we will work with you on a detailed plan to which you can commit and feel good about, a plan that will cover all of your issues and help you reach all of your goals. All of our email consultation packages for new clients include a Personalized Sleep Plan, which is a detailed guide written just for your family given your specific sleep history.
You can read about all of our sleep consultation packages here:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services
Please let us know if you need any assistance, and hang in there!!
Mary says
Hi, so we’re using gradual extinction for my 11 month old. He started sleeping longer stretches almost immediately, but just screams like anything till he falls asleep. He has had a couple of days where he cried (with checks) for an hour or so, which just seems crazy to me. (At other times he has fallen asleep in less than 10 min.) At this point though he takes longer to fall asleep if I am holding or patting him, because hes constantly opening his eyes to make sure I’m still there. Could letting him cry so much just be making him more anxious about sleep? Or will the screaming pass eventually? We’ve been doing this for about a week and I’m just worried about how the crying will affect him.
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Mary –
Thanks for writing to us, about your 11 month old! It sounds like you are making progress, and we certainly hope for more and more days where he falls asleep in less than 10 minutes! It is typical to have ups and downs from day to day, and it can take time to find the “sweet spot” for sleep too, when he is just tired enough. Separation anxiety and sleep are a tough mix, as you’ve read in this blog article, but keep it up! He may just need a little more time, but of course, without a sleep consultant taking an in depth and holistic look at all things sleep, it is hard to say when things will smooth out. Our general rule of thumb is to stick to a plan for 2 weeks, before re-evaluating, so you may want to give it a bit more time. : )
I do hope things smooth out quickly! Please let us know if you would like more assistance at any time!
nikki says
Hello,
Have a one year old (13 months) who has been sleeping pretty well until recently. She seems to have hit a wall and I’m reaching my breaking point- may have already. We have tried timed checks for the past 5 nights and it seems to have only gotten worse. I actually slept in the floor from 4-6am today just so that her (and I could get a bit of sleep). She is in daycare and usually takes 1 nap a day there anywhere from 1-2.5 hours. We begin bedtime routine at 7:00 bath, lotion, bottle, rock, bed. she is usually put down by 7:45/8:00. She is standing up screaming everytime we put her down, and lately has been pooping immediately at the start of putting her down. I don’t know what to do- please help!
Janelle Reid says
Hi @Nikki, I am so sorry to hear you are struggling with your daughter’s sleep and that you are all suffering from it! Here is a link to a free guide with tips to help your child sleep through the night, so I’d recommend you download it and see if it has any helpful information you haven’t considered yet: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-through-night-free-ebook/
I know you are beyond exhausted so what I think would give you the most support and take out all the guesswork on your part would be to consider working one-on-one with one of our sleep consultants. You can read more about the options here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
When you work with our sleep consulting team in our personalized packages, they will craft a plan specifically for your baby and will take into account the daycare schedule as well. If you have any questions about how it works or which package would be the best fit for your situation, please email us at [email protected]
Hang in there!
Nikolle says
Hello! My little one is now 3 months old and I think she is entering into the 4 month sleep regression early. A week ago she was sleeping soundly through the night (I have been trying not to nurse, rock and sway her to sleep prior to putting her in her bassinet but sometimes she would fall asleep before I could transition her). Usually she would wake up once to feed anywhere between 3- 5am when she was sleeping well. Now and over the last week she has been waking up around 2am and stays up for anywhere from 2 to 4 hours. A few times she has been up before the dreaded 2-4 hour wake stretch but would settle if I put the soother in her mouth. She has also done this a few times after the dreaded 2-4 wake up time and take the soother but it varies. Is this her entering into the first sleep regression or something else? She has been sleeping really well for many months with a rare episode of her not being able to sleep well around the 6 week mark. She is not overly fussy during the day (no more than usual) but she is only napping in 30-60 minute stints. Usually she gets around 3 hours worth of naps a day. Please help!
Danielle says
Hi Nikolle,
Thank you for checking out The Baby Sleep Site! I’m sorry your good sleeper has been having such a bump. I’m not a sleep consultant, but are you feeding your daughter when she wakes up at 2? Sometimes babies start to need one more night feeding around 3 months, as they become more active. Most 3 month-olds eat one to three times overnight. You can see our sample 3 month-old schedule for more details: https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/3-month-old-baby-sleep-and-feeding-schedule/
If you try feeding her and she goes back to sleep easily, that was probably the issue. If you try feeding her and she’s still up, then it’s more likely a true sleep concern. I hope this helps!