Thankfully, we’ve compiled some tips you can use to help your children cope with their tantrums. Here are some of the most interesting and helpful solutions we’ve managed to find:

Carefully explain why their tantrums may cause them harm in the long run.

Kids are sometimes smarter than we think they are, and they really can sometimes grasp more complicated concepts in their own way. Try to explain your situation to them, and nicely elaborate as to how their tantrums may harm their mental health and their relationships with others.

Try elaborating how bursting into tantrums to vent out frustrations and getting what they want may harm them in the future. Explain to your children that patience can be worth the while, and working hard for goals can always be more successful. Likewise, rushing things may also result in bad things happening.

As much as possible, don’t use a strict or angry tone when explaining this to them. Try to put yourself to their level and try explaining the concept in a way similar to how a friend may do it with them.

Granted, this might create a negative response to your children. However, it helps to at least ensure you’ve elaborated on the subject so you know the idea of how tantrums may harm them are planted in their head.

Lead by example, not just words.

Granted, it may be a need for you to talk to your children about their tantrums. However, it also helps to make sure you show them an example of how to vent their frustrations properly. It’s when you lead by example, and when your kids see the good out of these examples, that you may be able to convince them to follow your lead.

You may even just sit back and rely on cartoons and children’s shows to help elaborate on concepts that may otherwise be tricky to understand. In the case of tantrums, kids’ shows may demonstrate situations how tantrums may not solve situations.

You may also take a bit of time to explain to kids why these situations happened in shows or when they encounter these in real life.

In real-life situations, remember that kids follow your examples. As such, it’s important to maintain calmness, respect, and kindness whenever you interact with them regardless of the behavior they show. You should, however, still be stern and remind them of things they have to remember.

Introduce them to other forms of expressing themselves.

Oftentimes, children may find it difficult to express themselves because of the lack of avenues to do so. They may feel restricted to share their feelings because they may not have enough exposure to other means of expressing themselves. And you may help remedy potential outbursts by orienting your child early on to other methods of expression and venting out their frustrations. This can be in the form of artistry, sports, or even video games

Try to explore a multitude of these modes of expression with your kids. You can ask them if they want to try playing multiplayer games, car games or toy cars, try drawing or painting, or even trying out sports. When they express their desire to try something new, try to encourage them as this can help boost their confidence in the craft.

Having something else to do allows your child to switch their focus into expressing their frustrations and negative emotions via outbursts, and instead focus their energy on reflecting and doing their chosen craft.

When you introduce these modes of expression to your children, don’t introduce them as a deterrent for their tantrums. Rather, introduce these to them as to what they really are: methods of expression.

Seek professional help when you feel like this is affecting your child’s overall wellness.

Always remember that just because you’re thinking of seeking professional help doesn’t mean your child is “weak” in any way. There really are situations where it’s difficult to understand where you or your child is coming from, and as such may need guidance. If you feel lost or unsure of what to do with your child, it may help to undergo counseling in order to understand your child’s point of view much better.

If you’ve decided to have your child go under counseling, it helps to explain to them why you’re doing this. Always remind them that just because they’re going to talk to someone else doesn’t mean they’re “weak,” but rather you’re helping in making them much stronger.

You should also say the same thing to yourself. Just because you’re thinking of undergoing therapy doesn’t necessarily make you a weak parent. Rather, you’re also in the process of learning how to be a better caretaker for your child. This is especially since tantrums may be related to issues such as sleep, and other concerns that may not be as obvious.

When you consult a professional on anything about your child’s welfare, make sure their clinic is fully accredited. Also, make sure your psychologist is officially licensed. It doesn’t hurt to be careful when looking for a professional to trust.

Tantrums: Manage Your Child With Care, Support, Learning

Tantrums can be a normal occurrence for children and toddlers that are still growing up. However, you don’t necessarily have to take everything in without any reactions. Tantrums are tantrums, and they can be extremely stressful. If you have or have had a child with the same situation, you’ll surely be aware of how tantrums can affect not just you but your child’s growth at large.

Thankfully, the tips above would’ve likely given you useful methods you can use not just to help your child, but to help them ease up in an environment where they can share their thoughts without crying, and how this can affect us as parents overall.

Do you have tips for screaming toddlers? Share them in the comments!

John Salazar is a certified techie-at-heart, but he shares a love for all things science and technology, health and wellness, and even a bit of music on the side. As a creative writer, John makes sure to write both informative and entertaining pieces. He loves writing, and he plays the guitar when he has free time.

The post Parenting 101: How Do You Deal With Tantrums? appeared first on The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants.

Why Does My Toddler Keep Waking Up at Night?

One of the most perplexing things about toddlers not sleeping through the night is… why are they waking up in the first place? It might surprise you to learn that some waking up at night is completely normal and something most of us do. Most of us simply roll over and go right back to sleep. So, why do toddlers keep waking up at night?

The most common reasons for toddlers waking up at night include the following:

• Hunger – Believe it or not, even though your toddler is likely fully capable of sleeping through the night without eating, many toddlers are very busy…too busy…to eat enough during the day. And, these days, some adults are afraid of over-feeding their toddler. Toddlers need a LOT of calories to support their growth and activity levels!
• Schedule – Your toddler’s schedule could be completely off-base. If you are offering two naps and it’s time for one, for example, that could cause waking at night. Or, vice versa, your toddler should be taking two naps and is only taking one. Or, perhaps your bedtime is too early or too late. Getting the right schedule sets up your toddler to sleep through the night and your success.
• Sleep Associations – This is the main reason toddlers don’t outgrow their sleep problems. If they “need” or expect a certain something from you when they wake up at night, then it becomes very difficult for toddlers to sleep through the night. Whether they want you to rock them, feed them, sleep with them, or rub their back, having sleep associations that require your physical presence will reinforce the very night-waking you’re trying to fix.

There are other reasons toddlers wake up at night, but these are the most common. So, how can you get your toddler to sleep through the night? Read on!

Address the Source of the Problem(s)

In my 10+ years as a sleep consultant, I’ve seen many families succeed and those who do have one thing in common: they address the source of their sleep problem. Some families need our help in diagnosing the reason for their toddler waking up at night.

The #1 thing to realize is that letting your toddler cry-it-out, for example, does no good if you haven’t addressed the source of their night-waking problem. For example, a toddler who is hungry might cry for long periods at night for many nights in a row. You haven’t addressed the main problem. Similarly, you could do a lot of sleep training at night, but if your toddler’s schedule is wrong, you will continue to have problems. Sometimes you’re just too close to your own situation to figure out the “why” your toddler is waking up and “how” to fix it. That is the primary reason we are here, to help you figure this out!

What About Sleep Training My Toddler?

In the end, if you know you have addressed the main reasons your toddler is waking up at night and nothing seems to fix it, sleep training your toddler can be a good solution. This doesn’t mean, necessarily, that you have to let your toddler cry it out. There are many ways to sleep train your toddler just like there are multiple ways to learn to tie your shoes. The end result is a happy, sleeping toddler and through your guidance, love, and teaching, you too can have a toddler who sleeps through the night! The first key is to find a sleep training method that is the best fit for your toddler and your family.

How Do I Get My Toddler to Sleep In Their Own Bed?

Co-sleeping is a unique “sleep association” since, technically, your toddler may be sleeping fine but in your bed. Since children are notoriously active sleepers, even sleeping sideways sometimes, this can mean it’s not very restful for you to have your toddler in your bed and you want your toddler to sleep in their own bed.

Every situation is a little different, but the #1 thing to remember is that as long as it’s an option to sleep in your bed, your toddler will see no reason to change it. Now, of course, it’s easier said than done to say ‘just don’t let them!’

That isn’t helpful nor practical.

We have heard of parents who “rip off the band-aid” and just put their toddler in their own bed and then do cry-it-out.

In my experience of 10+ years, that often involves a lot of crying and many parents give in regularly. If it were that “easy” (though I don’t think cry-it-out is “easy”!) your toddler wouldn’t likely be co-sleeping in the first place.

Instead, we recommend a more methodical, gradual plan 99% of the time when we work one-on-one with families. This is because if you have a plan that you feel good about, you are more likely to follow-through and be successful, even if it’s not “done” in 3 days. Keep in mind your toddler has probably been co-sleeping with you for months, if not years, at this point. It would be wise to consider a method that may take at least 2-4 weeks over an abrupt approach. It is much more likely to be long-lasting, giving all of you much better sleep!

You Might Also Like…

• 9 Toddler Sleep Problems (And How To Deal)
• 7 Tips for Taming Toddler Sleep Problems
• A Day-By-Day Plan to Transition From Co-Sleeping (Members Only)
• Transition a 17-Month Old From Co-Sleeping Case Study (Members Only)

How did you get your toddler to sleep through the night?

The post How to Get a Toddler To Sleep Through the Night (even in their own bed!) appeared first on The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants.

Why do toddlers need to nap?

Toddlers need to nap to support their growth and development. Their bodies and brains are growing at very rapid rates and they need time to recharge and process all of the many things they are learning all. of. the. time.

In addition, toddlers are little people, just like us, who become irritable without enough sleep. Your toddler will be much happier and better behaved with adequate sleep, which will also cut down on temper tantrums (but we can’t guarantee cut them out completely!).

When do babies transition from two naps to one?

Babies transition from two naps to one nap around 15-18 months old, on average. Many 13-14 month-olds gradually begin the transition, but transitioning too early can lead to a big mess with waking at night, waking too early in the morning, or taking very short naps.

Keep in mind that to transition to one nap, your baby will now need to stay awake about 5 hours both before the nap AND after the nap. This is no small feat for many younger toddlers. They may be able to do it for one day, but not yet every day without melting down or showing other signs of being too tired.

Need more help with transitioning naps? Check out How to Manage Nap Transitions.

How many naps should my toddler take?

Most toddlers will take two naps until 15-18 months old, on average, and then take just one nap until the age of 3-4 years old, on average. Nap transitions can vary quite a bit, however. Some toddlers transition to one nap as early as 12 months old and some 5-year-olds are sometimes still napping.

When do toddlers stop napping?

The average age that toddlers stop napping is between 3 and 4 years old, with some dropping it around 2 1/2 and others not until age 5 and beyond.

In general, there are 3 signs your toddler may be done napping which include:

1. Being unable to fall asleep early enough to have enough awake time before bedtime.
2. Staying awake very late at bedtime and sleeping less than 9-10 hours at night.
3. Skipping the nap 4 or more times per week no matter how early or late you offer it.

Of course, once your toddler drops the nap he may need one once or twice a week as he gets used to the new schedule. It can take several weeks to a couple of months for your toddler to drop it every day long-term.

How long should a toddler’s naps be?

Once a baby transitions to 2 naps around 9 months old, all naps should be at least one hour in length to be considered restorative. Right before the transition to one nap, we sometimes see 4 hours of awake time before all sleep periods and total nighttime sleep dips to 10 to 10 1/2 hours.

Sometimes, one nap becomes a shorter 30-45-minute catnap before the transition to one nap, too, but not always. Generally, if both naps are less than an hour and your toddler is over 13 months, you may want to consider transitioning to one nap.

Once your toddler is taking just one nap, until they are at least two years old, the nap is typically 2-3 hours. After two years old, the nap can vary between 1-3 hours, depending on age and on how much sleep he or she gets at night. Some toddlers need long, restorative naps and some need longer nights to feel refreshed, but the total in a 24-hour period should stay relatively constant.

How much sleep does a toddler need? Toddler Naps At-a-Glance Chart/Guide

*Average Wake Time refers to the amount of time your toddler is able to comfortably stay awake during the day between sleep periods.

Sample Toddler Schedules

Sample 12 to 18-month old’s schedule (2 Naps)

Sample 14-month to 2-year old’s schedule (1 Nap)

Sample 2 1/2 to 3-year old’s schedule

Sample 4-year old’s schedule

Sample 5-year old’s schedule

Please note: These are just sample toddler schedules. You will want to determine if your toddler is getting enough sleep, how much average sleep he needs, and set the schedule accordingly.

Toddler Nap Troubleshooting

My toddler’s naps are too short

Short naps are a common complaint among parents, so you’re not alone! First, determine if your toddler’s “short nap” is age-appropriate. For example, a 17-month old who is still taking two naps may be taking one or two shorter naps because it’s time to transition to one nap. Or, a 3-year-old near the end of napping may only need a 45-60 minute snooze per day to get to bedtime. There is a difference between taking a short nap and not getting enough sleep versus getting the sleep she needs.

Assuming your toddler should be napping longer and isn’t, there are a few reasons your toddler may not be napping long enough:

• Sleep Associations – If you are still helping your toddler fall asleep at the beginning of the nap, he or she may not be able to go back to sleep without your help. But, now that he’s older, once he’s up, he’s up! Teaching him how to fall asleep on his own at nap time could help lengthen the naps.
• Schedule – Naps sometimes shorten due to the wrong schedule. Your child may be under- or over-tired or he/she may be sleeping “too much” at night, depending on how much sleep he or she may need in total.
• Pacifier – If you recently stopped using a pacifier, your toddler may be having trouble with the adjustment. If it’s been less than 2-3 weeks, you may just want to give her more time. If it’s been longer, you may need to do more sleep training, offer her a new lovey, or consider giving the pacifier back until she’s ready to drop the nap for good.
• Hunger – Have you made sure your toddler’s next meal isn’t landing in the middle of a nap? If so, beef up the snack or meal before the nap.

There are other reasons the nap might be short, but these are the main culprits.

My toddler naps too long

First, a nap isn’t usually “too long” unless it is causing insomnia in the middle of the night or you have another health concern. If your “problem” is that bedtime is getting too late or your toddler is waking for the day too early, then that’s more of a scheduling issue. This can be addressed by trimming the nap and/or shifting the schedule.

Should I give my toddler lunch before or after the nap?

Most people give lunch before the nap, but if your toddler is anything like mine were, we basically had “Lunch #1” before the nap and “Lunch #2” after the nap. After all, your toddler could be eating lunch at 11:00 AM and dinner isn’t until 6:00 PM or so. That’s 7 hours and many toddlers will have to eat a lot of “snacks” to get to dinner. Do yourself a favor and simply add in another “lunch.” It’s not really important what it’s called!

My toddler won’t nap without me

If your toddler won’t nap outside your lap, your arms, or in bed with you, then this is a sleep association. This is not a “problem” unless you deem it to be. If you have the ability to nap every day with your toddler and you enjoy it, then wonderful! Enjoy it now because (see above) the nap WILL go away!

However, if you enjoy napping with your toddler but you have other things to do like clean the house, cook dinner, or tend to his sibling, then it may not be practical for you to take a 2-3 hour nap every day or hold your toddler on your lap. If that’s the case, then you likely want to work on having your toddler learn how to sleep more independently with some gentle sleep coaching.

My toddler won’t nap in the crib or bed

Some toddlers will sleep fine in their crib or bed at night, but not during the day. Toddlers can be weird and it’s best not to try to apply logic to everything when it pertains to your child. If it’s not a problem for you where your toddler naps, then you don’t HAVE to change it. Of course, if you are required to walk the stroller (or drive the car) for 2 hours every single day, even in the winter when it’s snowing, this is not always practical. Again, just like the above, you may want to consider some gentle sleep coaching.

My toddler naps at daycare but not at home

We hear this from families all the time! Toddlers are smart and do learn different caretakers have different rules and routines. At daycare, the social “pressure” can encourage your toddler to do a lot of cool things at daycare that he won’t do at home like sleep, clean, and even go on the potty. And, of course, your toddler isn’t going to want YOU to leave her side. She may “love” her teacher at school but she reaaaaalllllyyyyy loves you! It’s not so hard to believe she’d have more trouble separating from you. But, as we know, children don’t always know best and what they “want” isn’t always what’s best for them (e.g. eating cookies for dinner). Try as they might to get their way, setting limits for your toddler is very important to sleep success at home.

My toddler naps at home but not at daycare

Babies not napping at daycare we hear about all the time, but this would be really unusual once a toddler is past 14 months old and not something we hear much at all. However, when my youngest was transitioning away from naps altogether (around 3 1/2 years old), eventually he stopped napping at daycare and would “catch up” on his sleep on the weekend. Once your toddler only needs 1-2 naps a week, they could land on the weekend at home where it’s quieter and comfier. If your child definitely NEEDS a nap at daycare and isn’t taking one, I’d talk to the teacher and/or director to see what’s going on and troubleshoot. Once the entire class is napping together, there’s really no reason your toddler shouldn’t be napping at school.

Can my toddler nap on a mat?

Sure! Maybe. Toddlers nap at daycare on mats all the time. At home, not-so-much. It’s a lot different when your friends aren’t at home and falling asleep left and right. Your toddler may get up off the mat a lot. It’s one of those things you may be able to teach and would take some consistent effort. Most transitions take at least a couple of weeks, so if it doesn’t work the first day, don’t necessarily give up. You may just need to give him some time and, possibly, rewards.

How is your toddler napping? Share below!

The post The Ultimate Toddler Nap Guide appeared first on The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants.

Almost everyone knows newborns need to sleep virtually all day and all night. And, babies need a lot of sleep day and night, too. But, what about toddlers and preschoolers? How much sleep does a 3-year-old need?

Your 3 year old needs an average of 11 hours 15 minutes of sleep in a 24-hour period. Most of that sleep, if not all, will be made up of nighttime sleep. 3-year-olds need an average of 9 hours, 45 minutes to 11 hours, 15 minutes at night and 0 to 1 1/2 hours of sleep during the day.

Many 3-year-olds are transitioning away from napping altogether, but not all children do so at this age. Some children this age will continue to nap until they are 4 to 5 years old.

Why does your 3-year-old need a lot of sleep?

Many people think that as your baby turns into a toddler or preschooler, they won’t need as much sleep, but these little guys are busy, busy, busy and their brains are growing at a very rapid rate. They still have a lot of growth and development to go through, and they need sleep to do that. Not to mention, toddlers and preschoolers are much better behaved when they aren’t irritable from sleep-deprivation. We all get a bit cranky when we don’t get enough sleep and many toddlers will have more tantrums or more accidents (potty training or otherwise) when they aren’t getting enough sleep.

If your 3-year-old is also in preschool or you are doing lots of preschool activities at home, he or she may need more sleep to process all of the learning they’ve done that day. Even when unintentional, preschoolers are learning about so many things around them and their brains need to rest just to take it all in. Their bodies need to rest, too, from all that running, climbing, swimming, dancing, etc. How would you feel if you were running on a treadmill all day? I’m sure you’d need sleep! Children do have a lot of energy that many of us wish we could bottle up, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need sleep to recuperate.

What do 3-year-olds sleep in and do they need a pillow?

Many toddlers and preschoolers are sleeping in footed pajamas or regular pajamas and still using a wearable blanket. This is because many toddlers still can’t seem to keep their blankets on all night and preschoolers are very active sleepers (think sleeping sideways in beds)! So, if you don’t want to be awakened at night because a blanket has come off, either dress your toddler warm enough and expect the blanket to come off or continue to wear a larger-sized wearable blanket.

As for a pillow, toddler-sized pillows do exist, but, in my experience, many kids this age still don’t need a pillow because their necks aren’t very long and the pillow tends to position their heads and necks improperly. Although I know we expect our children to grow up fast, some things still take time to develop. No need to rush the pillow. If your little one uses a pillow and does well with it, you don’t have to take it away or worry though!

Should your 3-year-old sleep in a crib or a big kid bed?

If your child is still happy in his or her crib, I highly recommend you delay moving to a bed as long as possible. We do find that many toddlers get in and out of bed many times when they don’t have the boundaries of the crib. Even if they understand they are supposed to stay in bed, they sometimes lack the impulse control to actually do it consistently. In addition, they lose a sense of security they once felt in the crib. That said, some 3-year-olds do just fine and, unfortunately, we don’t know whether it will be good or bad until it’s sometimes too late. If sleep is good and there’s not a pressing reason to transition to a bed, I recommend you wait even though upgrading to the big kid bed and cutesy matching comforter sets can be super tempting once your kiddo turns 3! 🙂

Need help transitioning to a bed? Check out our e-Book all about toddler sleep challenges, The 5-Step System To Help Your Toddler Sleep.

How to know if your 3-year-old is getting enough sleep

What is the best way to know if your 3-year-old is getting enough sleep? Well, mood and behavior are the biggest indicators. If your child is often fussy, irritable, impatient, and having a lot of tantrums, she may not be getting enough sleep. Of course, three-nangers DO in fact have strong opinions and will have tantrums. But, if you find the bulk of your day is fending off tantrums and you have glimmers of good times first thing in the morning or right after nap, but not the rest of the day, it’s likely your child needs more sleep.

What to do if your 3-year-old needs more sleep?

If your child does need more sleep, it’s important to set an appropriate bedtime that’s early enough to get a good night’s sleep. If your little guy is waking early, then consider a different schedule, but be sure he is able to get a full night’s sleep in. Remember, he needs about 11 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, so set the schedule accordingly. And, if you need any help with that, we are happy to help however we can, of course!

How much does your 3-year-old sleep? Share your experience below in our comments!

The post How Much Sleep Does a 3 Year Old Need? appeared first on The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants.

When your toddler is ready to make the transition from crib to their first bed, it’s a milestone often accompanied with lots of exciting decisions, from selecting new bedroom decor to choosing the right bedding.

It’s usually only once you’ve decided on the bed and bought the duvet and bedding set that you start thinking about important safety questions, such as: when can a toddler use a pillow?

Why Can’t Babies Use Pillows?
Unlike adults, babies do not have the same amount of head and neck movement or control, meaning they are at risk of suffocation, since they will not be able to move in the event that their breathing becomes obstructed. Therefore, pillows, blankets and any other material with the potential to cover the mouth and nostrils are not appropriate or deemed safe.

In fact the expert advice is clear and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends all parents to lay their babies on their backs to sleep, and to use a flat and firm surface devoid of pillows, blankets and bumpers.

When Should You Introduce a Pillow?
This is a difficult question to respond to and since all children develop at different rates there is no clear cut answer. The majority of toddlers still won’t need a pillow when they first make the move to a bed. However, experts are clear on one thing – toddlers under the age of 2 shouldn’t be given pillows at all, but after this age and when you believe your child is ready, ensure you select a pillow that is appropriate.

When choosing your toddler’s first pillow, ensure it’s firm and an appropriate size, that way it will provide support and comfort, without the risk of them getting lost. You may find this is a case of trial and error, until you find a pillow that works well for your child. Today, there are a variety of filler materials used including feathers, memory foam, buckwheat and fiber fill, and the one you choose is largely a personal matter. However, feathers are probably less favorable since they are way too soft for a toddler and a common trigger for allergy sufferers.

The best material for a toddler pillow is 100% cotton filling; this is a reasonably firm, extremely comfortable and a hypoallergenic material.

Other Factors to Consider for Safe Toddler Sleep
Once you’ve got your pillow dilemma solved, there’s some other important things to consider in your child’s bedroom to ensure safe toddler sleep. These are some of the fundamentals:

• Secure Furniture to the Walls
  Babies and toddlers are naturally inquisitive and obviously don’t make the same judgments as adults. Climbing and tugging at furniture is something that you have to expect and you simply aren’t going to be able to have your eyes on them 24 hours of the day. Therefore, the best way to ensure their safety is to secure all furniture to walls, so there’s no risk of them falling over onto your child. This includes dressers, bookcases and TV stands.

  Objects with sharp corners are another consideration – try to select furniture with rounded edges and if you can those made from softer materials. If you don’t plan on buying all new furniture, then you may want to think about child proofing any areas of concern.

• Choose an Appropriate Bed
  What is an appropriate bed for a toddler? The majority of sleep experts agree that there’s no need to rush into making the transition from cot to bed. The safest option for children under the age of 3 years is a crib with a low set mattress.

  When you think they are ready to make the move, you have the choice of either a “regular bed” or a smaller “toddler bed”. Regular beds are fine if you have the space and if your child’s happy to oblige, however, some parents find transitioning from a crib to such a large bed can present issues. Whichever you choose, remember that you are going to need guard rails to stop them from falling out, these usually come as standard on beds designed for the toddler age group. However, if you select a regular bed remember that you will need to fit safety rails.

• Remove all Suffocation & Strangulation Hazards
  Once you have the sleeping arrangement established it’s important to assess the room for potential hazards that put your toddler at risk. This includes blind cords and other cords on lamps and electric appliances such as TVs and lamps. Ensure you secure these appropriately and if necessary remove them completely. Once you’ve taken the time to “toddler-proof” the bedroom, spend some time looking for other potential hazards, for instance, are power outlets secured?
• Check Smoke Alarms
  If you don’t have smoke alarms fitted in your home, it may be time to change that. They will keep you and your family safe. It may be a good idea to teach your child what to do in the event of a fire too, for instance to make their way to the nearest windows if they are on an upper floor.
• Don’t Forget About Carbon Monoxide
  Carbon monoxide is often overlooked by many homeowners, but what makes it dangerous is that it’s an odorless, colorless and toxic gas, so it’s certainly worth having CO detectors installed. Make sure to fit them near any combustible appliance, which includes boilers, stoves and fireplaces.
• Keep Your Child Informed
  Once your child reaches an age where they can communicate and remember information, make sure you equip them with key details that could be extremely helpful in the event of a crisis. You may have to repeat yourself many times, but ensure they can provide your name, address and telephone number. If they ever find themselves in an unfortunate set of circumstances, at least you will know they can provide some assistance to the emergency services, where time is of paramount importance.

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Judith McLean is a mother of four, educator and has written extensively on the topic of parenting. Find more of Judith at MomBible.com

The post Safe Toddler Sleep: When Can Your Toddler Use a Pillow? appeared first on The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants.

It’s no surprise that children like to keep parents on their toes! Just when you thought all of your sleep issues were sorted out, your toddler starts waking up early. When they are in their “big” kid bed, they no longer have the confinement of the crib. What should you do to keep them from appearing at your bedside during the wee hours of the morning? Luckily, our sleep consultants have had personal experiences with this very issue with our own toddlers.

What’s helped many of us?? ….Toddler clocks. What’s that, you ask? These cute little clocks are very effective in helping to teach children to stay in their beds/room until the clock hits a certain time, or turns a certain color.

There are several versions of toddler clocks on the market. Bonnie, a veteran sleep consultant, says, “We use the ‘Teach Me Time’ clock and it’s awesome. My daughter waits for it to turn green and then she’s free to go. She loves it.”

Jessa, another one of our expert consultants, says, “We use the ‘Ok To Wake’ clock, it’s great! My son (who is almost 3) always waits for his “green light” to turn on before he starts the day! We’ve turned it into a game and he’s proud to say he woke up before or after his “green light” comes on. He really likes it because it makes faces if you push some of the buttons, so anytime we travel it’s one of the first things he packs!”

The OK to Wake and Teach Me Time clocks are very similar, however the OK to Wake clock has a nap button which has come in very handy with my own son while we are currently in the midst of transitioning from nap time to rest time. He is almost 4 and I am able to set the clock for a 1 hour countdown and he knows that rest time is over once his light turns green.

Alternatively, other families have great success using a “regular” digital clock as a toddler clock simply by covering up the minutes so when the clock turns a certain number (i.e. 7), their child knows it’s time to wake up. What can I say? I’m full of tips. 😉

So when is a good time to start using a toddler clock? Our recommendation is to start between 2.5-3 years old to be sure that your toddler is developmentally able to grasp the concept. You will want to be sure that you include your child in the process and that they are able to fully understand the new expectation. Once you have decided that the toddler clock method is for you, there are a number of things that you can do to make the outcome more positive.

Here are 5 Tips for Using a Toddler Clock, so that you can put an end to your toddler’s early rising once and for all:

1. Get your toddler to buy into it: Buy your clock and set it up together! Make your child a part of setting it up. The more they are involved, the more they will likely be excited to use their new clock.
2. Talk it over: Talk it over a few days before you begin using the clock. Once you begin using your clock, explain the rules and review before bedtime and/or nap time. Make a game out of it and role play what it looks like to wake up when the light is on versus when its off.
3. Positive Reinforcement: Introduce some form of positive reinforcement; verbal praise, sticker charts, marble jar, etc.
4. Review and repeat: Review the rules and practice, practice, practice.
5. Don’t give up: Stay consistent, patient and committed!

Like with most things, children learn by repetition. The same goes for using a toddler clock. It may take some time, but with consistency and repetition, your child will start to understand the concept. I have found that with my son, I had to find his “currency,” so to speak. What motivates him is earning a reward, so I had to really up the ante when it came to using positive reinforcement with his toddler clock.

Toddler clocks are great because they take YOU out of the equation. This is especially helpful when you have a strong-willed child (like I do!). You can blame the clock for it not being time to wake up. This is one of the first steps in teaching your child self control and it helps to lay the foundation for teaching your child how to take responsibility for their choices. By choosing to stay in their room/bed until the clock says to get up, they will start to feel empowered!

If you are finding that you are struggling with your toddler’s early rising, you should consider giving a toddler clock a try!

The post 5 Tips for Using Toddler Clocks to End Early Waking appeared first on The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants.

Whether your child was an awesome sleeper as an infant or has never slept well, many toddlers will have trouble with napping, sleeping through the night, or simply staying in bed at least sometimes. The problems that plagued your household when your itty bitty baby needed endless cuddles and round-the-clock feeds might be long behind you, but now you’ve got “bigger” problems to worry about. Maybe your toddler has learned to climb out of their crib and bedtime is now filled with frustration or fears of the dark. Regardless of what’s keeping your toddler up – we’ve got 7 surefire tips for taming toddler sleep problems.

1. Time it right

Big kids may seem like they could run for hours (and maybe they can, at least occasionally), but restorative sleep is just as (or maybe even MORE) important than ever! Around 18 months, many toddlers will transition to 1 nap and this tends to create a need for even more sleep overnight. Where some younger toddlers (under 18 months) may have been fine with less than 12 hours of sleep per night, after the nap transition many children will begin to need 12 or more hours overnight to properly charge their “batteries.”

So, the first trick to sleeping through the night and taking long naps for toddlers is keeping their bedtimes and naptimes age-appropriate. Toddlers in the 18-24 month age group may need approximately 5-5.5 hours of awake time before a nap and another 5-5.5 hours of awake time between nap and bedtime. Older 2 and 3 year olds may need slightly less sleep per day and do better with closer to 6 hours of awake time before sleeps.

2. Utilize age-appropriate sleep spaces

Many parents are eager to transition their toddler to a “big” kid bed – sometimes earlier than the child can fully appreciate their new digs. We recommend waiting until at least age 2 before transitioning from a crib or cot to an open sleep space (e.g. toddler bed, Montessori bed, etc.). This is because even if the child understands they are to stay in their bed and wait for mom or dad to come to get them, many young toddlers will lack the impulse control they need to actually follow through.

What if your child is climbing out of their crib, but not quite old enough to have control of their impulses and thus be ready for an open sleep space? We’ve got tricks for keeping the crib, too!

3. Ward off hunger pangs

Toddlers are ACTIVE, which means they burn loads of calories! And, they might even be so active they sometimes forget to eat or don’t fully satisfy their hunger. This high-caloric burn and under-eating combo can pack a very heavy punch resulting in poor naps, night waking, and most commonly, waking too early in the morning. The solution?

• Keep healthy snacks on-hand and easy for your toddler to eat on-the-go.
• Offer a high-protein, high-fiber snack approximately 1 hour before your child’s bedtime.
• Start your toddler’s day off right with a well-balanced meal within 30 minutes of wake-up.

4. Talk through fears

Older toddlers (age 2 and up) may develop fears – fear of the dark, fear of monsters, fear of storms, fear of being alone, etc. and these fears can cause various sleep problems if not resolved. If you suspect your toddler is fearful of something and this has them waking often through the night or wanting a parent to stay with them as they fall asleep, it’s time to talk to your child about their fears (in the daytime). Once you’ve identified the fear, think of creative ways to help restore your child’s sense of security.

5. Set firm limits

Nothing hinders toddler sleep more than inconsistency. When deciding when, where, and how your child will sleep it is important to keep things consistent. If your child is sometimes allowed to sleep in mommy’s bed and other times they are expected to sleep in their own bed, this blurs the lines for your toddler. Toddlers crave routine and structure. While learning how things work, toddlers are constantly testing the limits in an attempt to understand cause and effect. “If I get out of my bed, will mommy let me sleep with her or will I be brought back to my room? Hmmm… let’s see!”

6. Create a stall-proof routine

Limit setting leads into our next key takeaway for taming toddler sleep problems: creating a consistent sleep routine (for both nap and bedtime) and STICKING TO IT! Toddlers are known for attempting to get out of going to sleep. To them, sleep is boring and they’d much rather stay up and play. So, they’ll say or do just about anything to buy them 10 more minutes! Here are some classic examples of toddler stall tactics:

• Requesting water
• Asking for another book
• INquiring about another song
• Wanting to get up and go say goodnight [possibly for the 2^nd or 3^rd time] to the cat/dog/other parent/sibling…

Again, this is when setting limits is important. Establish a solid nap and bedtime routine for your toddler and do not deviate from it. If your child has a tantrum [because they couldn’t read another book, for example] this is more reason not to give in to their requests. A good compromise would be agreeing to read an extra book after your child wakes up from their nap or night sleep. (Remember: If you make a promise to a toddler, it’s important to keep it! This builds trust.)

7. Encourage and praise

Toddlers love feeling useful and really look up to older kids and adults – they want to be just like you! So, lead by example, and when they do something you’ve asked, be sure to praise them. For example, if your toddler remembers to bring their lovey into bed with them, turn off the lamp after storytime, or goes to bed without complaint, let them know how proud you are of them! This sort of encouragement goes a long way with a toddler. 🙂

Have you tried any of these tips with your toddler? Tell us about it! Scroll down to share your story, to ask questions, and to hear from other parents just like you!

The post 7 Tips for Taming Toddler Sleep Problems appeared first on The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants.

Montessori teaching in general is a philosophy by Dr. Maria Montessori that education should be 100% child-centered so when it comes to using that mentality in a toddler’s bedroom you have to do just that. So therefore, the room must be 100% child-centered. Everything in the room must be safe for the child to explore on their own, freely and independently. Everything must be in the child’s reach and at their level.

One huge component of a Montessori style bedroom is the “Floor Bed.” This goes along with the educational aspect of Montessori education by guiding the children rather than teaching them because by having that sense of freedom you are instinctually teaching them their own bodily sleep ques. My first was transitioned by 16 months to her floor bed and we are currently in the process of transitioning our 17 month old now. I have found that it is actually pretty hard for the modern-day parent to conceptually get the idea of a floor bed because most children are in cribs until nearly 3 years old. Most parents think they will mess up their children’s sleep patterns by giving them this freedom but what they’re actually doing is teaching their children something even more valuable. If you want to know more about floor beds in general feel free to read this post dedicated to the idea and benefits of floor beds!

But as to WHY we chose this style bedroom, let me give you my reasons why:

Aside from the fact that I was raised with the Montessori method I knew I wanted to do the best I could to help my children, help themselves. I have two little girls and I want to make sure they learn responsibility and independence at a very young age. A Montessori style bedroom does just that. It’s a place that is truly their own with everything in reach and accessible to them.

• Their bed is at their level and it’s a place they can crawl into whenever they feel like they need a break.
• Their clothes are at their level so they can partake in outfit changes.
• They have few distractions so when they are in their room for bedtime they can focus on their body’s natural rhythm and sleep cues and are not distracted by electronics.
• The toys that are in the room are open-ended toys that truly foster their imagination.

 


• By being given an independent environment, they learn to be responsible for themselves.

Just like anything in parenting, not all solutions work for all kids but a Montessori bedroom is one thing to consider when you have young ones. I firmly believe that the benefits of a Montessori style bedroom will bode well for our children far more in the long run. To give them confidence in themselves and freedom to learn is so beneficial when they’re this young and moldable. And as always, help them to help themselves.

The post Why We Chose a Montessori Style Bedroom For Our Toddlers appeared first on The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants.

Toddler sleep is tough enough….but add in early rising on top of nighttime waking and short naps? That is a problem indeed! Early waking can be a particularly tough problem to tackle with toddlers, since they’re so much more mobile and (and often more strong-willed) than babies. While an early-rising baby will cry, an early-rising toddler will climb out of bed, walk into your room, and insist that it’s time to get up!

Clearly, then, the problem of toddlers who are waking too early is one that needs fixing, and fast! Read on for our 5 sure-fire tips.

What Is “Waking Up Too Early” For A Toddler, Anyway?

Now remember that ‘early’ is a relative term – for some parents, a 5:00 wake-up time is ideal, while for others, anything before 8:30 is considered “way too early”! That’s why it’s a good idea to establish an objective “waking too early” standard against which you can judge your situation.

As a rule of thumb, if your toddler’s wake-up time is after 6 a.m. and he or she is waking up fairly happy and refreshed, then you likely don’t have an early waking problem on your hands. A wake-up time of 6:00 or later is reasonable and developmentally-appropriate for most babies and toddlers, provided they are getting adequate nighttime and nap time sleep.

That said, if your child is waking before 6 a.m., and/or seems cranky and tired first thing in the morning, then you likely do have an early-rising issue on your hands.

Why Is Your Toddler Waking Up Too Early?

Your toddler may wake too early on occasion due to a variety of different factors, including….

• ….traveling (and sleeping in an unfamiliar setting).
• ….illness.
• ….sleep regressions.
• ….potty training.

….transitioning to a new toddler bed.

Remember that occasional and intermittent early waking is nothing to worry much about. If you can trace the cause of your toddler’s early waking to something temporary, like one of the factors listed above, then simply work on getting back on track as soon as you can.

However, if your baby regularly wakes too early, then it’s likely you have a scheduling problem to solve.

Two Common Causes of Waking Up Too Early (And What To Do About It)

1. Nap Timing: It may be that either the timing of your child’s naps are off, or the length of the naps themselves are off. For instance, the transitions from two naps to one, and then from one nap to none, tend to be really tough and can lead to a host of sleep issues, including early rising.
2. Bedtime Timing: We preach often about putting babies to bed early, because sleep begets sleep. But older toddlers who still take an afternoon nap may actually benefit from a later bedtime. If you put a toddler to bed early, he may not be tired enough for sleep and may instead bounce around his bed for hours before he finally falls asleep.

Baby Waking Up Too Early? Here’s How To Fix It

So your toddler is waking too early. At this point, you probably know what’s causing the early waking….but how are you supposed to fix it? Good question!

First, you’ll want to start treating your toddler’s early-morning wake-up calls as night wakings, and not “start-of-the-morning” wakings. This can be tough, especially if your toddler is able to get out of bed and wander out of her room. It’s fine to get up and offer comfort, or to get up and return your toddler to bed, but try not to get your toddler up for the day. If you do, you’re merely reinforcing that this early-morning waking is fine and normal and part of the regular routine.

If, after a week of treating early wakings as night wakings, your child is still waking too early, then begin making schedule adjustments. Do you need to work in an extra nap during the day? Do you need to shift the timing of any naps, so that your toddler has less awake time during the day? Do you need to move bedtime earlier, or possibly later? Do you need to offer a bedtime snack? Gradually make these schedule adjustments, while still treating any early wakings as night wakings.

Generally, following these steps will resolve most early waking problems. If you’re still struggling, however, you may need a more expert approach to solving your problem.

For more early-waking help, check out our members-only ebook, Shift Your Child’s Schedule. It includes helpful tips designed to shift your child’s schedule either forward or backward so as to fix early- or late-waking problems. Members enjoy unlimited access to this e-book at no additional cost.

Is your toddler waking up too early? Scroll down to share your tips, and to hear from other parents just like you!

The post Toddler Waking Up Too Early? 5 Tips To Help appeared first on The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants.

Did you know that I have a toddler at home? I do – she’s a stubborn, defiant, strong-willed little tyrant. She’s exhausting, and she sometimes drives me batty.

Yep – both are true, readers! And I know those of you with toddlers at home can relate. They’re cute, but between the tantrums and the napping changes and the crib-to-bed transition, they’re also pretty draining!

Here’s something we’re currently dealing with in my home – bedtime stalling. Have you experienced this, too? What used to be a quick bedtime routine, followed by a few minutes of kisses and cuddles and then lights out, is now a becoming an epic battle. And just when I think I can finally turn off the lights and shut the door, I’m met with another stall tactic.

So, why do our toddlers try to stall bedtime? And (most importantly), how can we deal with our tiny stall-tactic masterminds? Let’s take a look!

Why Do Toddlers Stall At Bedtime?

This is pretty straightforward, and many of you have probably figured this one out on your own. Simply put, toddlers stall at bedtime because they just can’t stand to miss the action. From your toddler’s point of view, bedtime is boring – it’s dark, no one else is around, and there’s nothing to do. But staying up and playing? That’s fun stuff! No wonder, then, that our toddlers sometimes try every stall tactic they can think of, just so they can stay up for a few extra minutes.

5 Gentle Techniques For Managing Toddler Bedtime Stalling

Whether it’s calls for ‘just one more drink’, or endless battles over which jammies to wear, or multiple trips to the potty, toddler bedtime stall tactics can be frustrating. So how can you keep your toddler’s bedtime on track without upsetting her too much? (Because let’s face it, a sobbing toddler probably isn’t going to fall asleep easily!)

Well, for starters, you can try one of the 5 gentle techniques listed below:

1. Institute a count-down. One of the worst things you can do is surprise your toddler with bedtime. Instead, starting about 30 minutes before you plan to begin the bedtime routine, start giving your toddler little reminders that bedtime is coming. On a related note, make sure your toddler doesn’t get involved in a long, engrossing activity right before bed – it’ll be hard to get her to stop.
2. Say ‘goodnight’ to everything. As you go through the steps of your bedtime routine, encourage your toddler to say goodnight to everything he sees (think Goodnight, Moon here). Goodnight to the toothbrush, goodnight to the potty, goodnight to his books and toys, etc. Remind him that it’s night-night for all of his things, and it may help him feel a little better about going night-night himself. This can also help minimize the requests for ‘just one more’ – for instance, if he wants ‘just one more’ trip to the potty, you can let him know that his potty has gone night-night.
3. Be a little flexible. Strike a deal with your toddler – maybe you can agree that as long as she stays in bed and doesn’t call for you constantly, she can look at her story books, listen to music, or quietly play with a few ‘sleepy’ toys. This won’t work for every child, though, so use your judgment on this one. And it’s not a technique you can use for young toddlers, either – it works best for older toddlers who can communicate verbally and who have basic reasoning skills.
4. Try a bedtime routine sticker chart. Sticker charts can be huge motivators for toddlers. Create a chart that outlines the steps of your bedtime routine, and then make a deal with your toddler. If he can get through each step with good behavior, your toddler can put a sticker next to that step. This provides an immediate incentive for your toddler to stop stalling and cooperate.
5. Bore the pants off your toddler. Even if you do everything right, you may still find yourself dealing with a staller. Here’s what to do – after you’ve tucked your toddler into bed and left the room, be sure that if you interact with him again (either because he’s calling for you, or because he’s gotten out of bed), you do so in as boring of a way as possible. Seriously! Don’t make much eye contact, keep your voice monotone, etc. Don’t seem angry – just neutral and dull. Basically, you want your toddler to see that you are ‘done’ for the night. The exception to this rule would be if your toddler wakes after a nightmare or night terror and is truly frightened. In that case, offer as much love and comfort as you can!

I’ll end with three final bits of advice…

First— while most toddlers are genuinely tired at bedtime but stall because they don’t want to miss any action, other toddlers may be stalling because they aren’t actually tired at all. In these cases, you might have a scheduling problem on your hands. Your toddler may be napping too much during the day, for instance, or the nap may be happening too close to bedtime. It’s also possible that bedtime may be too early.

Second — remember that ultimately, bedtime stalling is a discipline issue. Your toddler needs to learn to obey you at bedtime, the same way you would expect him to obey you during the rest of the day. Need help in setting limits for your toddler? Check out this article, with tips on how to set limits and boundaries.

Finally — if your toddler still is not sleeping through the night, then your problem is bigger than mere bedtime stalling. In this case, bedtime stalling is just a symptom of a bigger sleep issue. But don’t worry! While toddler sleep issues are indeed tough, we can help! Our team of consultants has helped countless families work with their toddlers to achieve better sleep. Take a look at our consultation packages, and see which one looks like a good fit for you. Once you purchase, you will immediately receive access to your Helpdesk account, and you can get started on the journey to better sleep!

Want more information about how personalized help works? Check out our FAQ page here, and get answers.

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For starters, all VIP members have unlimited access to our library of e-Books. That’s right! For the price of your VIP subscription, you can read all our e-Books at no additional cost! This includes our special toddler e-book, The 5-Step System To Better Toddler Sleep. In this book, we tackle common toddler sleep questions! These include how to manage common nap transitions, how to sleep coach a toddler (VERY different than sleep coaching a baby, by the way!), how to achieve an ideal bedtime and morning wake time, etc. This is one of our best do-it-yourself toddler tools!

We also have an awesome library of toddler-focused tele-seminars! We cover topics such as basic and advanced concepts in toddler sleep, toddler sleep Q&A, traveling with your toddler, toddler sleep coaching tips, and general toddler nap issues. And that’s not all – we also have several toddler-specific member articles, too! Titles include 16 Limit-Setting Tips for Toddlers, and Your 4 Top Toddler Sleep Questions Answered.

For more details about all our VIP Members Area benefits, visit our membership page, and consider becoming a VIP member today!
 
 
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Have a Professional Bedtime Staller at your house? How are you coping? We love to hear tips from our Baby Sleep Site parents, so share them below!

• Want to tackle your toddler’s bedtime troubles yourself? Why not take a look at our 5-Step System To Better Toddler Sleep? Available in two affordable packages, this book is designed to give you practical, hands-on tools you can use to help your toddler learn to fall asleep on his own, and stay asleep (and stop fighting bedtime!). Best of all, the book is available to download instantly – you can put it to use as early as tonight!
• Want an abundance of resources to help you in your sleep coaching? Consider becoming a VIP Member. Our VIP Members Area is packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, peer support, and teleseminars. It actually costs less to join than buying products separately! As a VIP member, you have access to a weekly live chat with one of our expert sleep consultants and our “Ask the Author” feature too! These are ideal for those times when you need some expert advice! And the icing on the cake?

The post 5 Gentle Techniques For Managing Toddler Bedtime Stalling appeared first on The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants.