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Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.
Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.
Exhausted and Confused?   Yes! I need help and more sleep.

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  1. Adrian says

    I know this site is intended for mothers but I hope you’ll read my comment as a father. While my wife is the one mostly struggling with our 8-month old, I do help out when I’m not struggling to build a business and provide for my family. And yes, I do get up at least once every night to be with our 8-month old.

    I’m reading about your 8-month old regression and your comments about determining whether it’s a “simple” regression or something more is what has me worried. I say this because our son’s “regression” has definitely spanned more than 6 weeks. Frankly, I don’t remember the last time he slept through the entire night…I think it was at 2 or 3 months old.

    Let me paint a picture. Our son loves to sleep on his side or stomach and absolutely detests sleeping on his back. So, every night, once one of us has walked laps in his room to get him to sleep, he’ll roll onto his side or stomach as soon as we put him down in his crib. Within 1.5-2 hours, he’s screaming because he’s either rolled into the side of the crib or onto his back and will not stop crying until one of us picks him up. Within 5-10 minutes, he’s back to sleeping in the crib. Then, after another 2-3 hours, he’s crying for mother’s milk. My wife doesn’t think he drinks much in that nightly serving but he falls asleep anyways, but only for another 1-1.5 hours, at which point he needs someone to help him again. If at that point he’s back to sleep, it again is only for an hour or so, by which point he’s awake and ready to “party” at around 4am. In other words, he’s not crying but talking and gleefully yelling, which is a problem because he has a 4 year old sister in the next room who, if she doesn’t sleep through the night, turns into a day terror, leaving us with 24 hours of “fun” (which also limits our ability to just let him cry it out).

    And yes, it is my wife that deals with most of that “fun” but when I console her afterwards and absorb some of her angst, it becomes my “fun” too, especially in the night as she’s a light sleeper and unable to fill the hours he’s asleep with her own semi-decent sleep. And ladies, I’m not complaining so please don’t say that your husbands are terrible fathers. Maybe some are, but not all. As is evident by my comment, I’m here because I’m worried about my entire family, not just myself.

    So I don’t know, maybe I’m just venting. But if you have any input on how we can figure out if this is more than just a regression, I know my whole family would be forever blessed and thankful.

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Adrian, thank you so much for writing to us! I’ll first off say that we of course welcome all parents! We do have a higher population of mothers so often you may see our articles are more leaning towards women (but those may be our older articles as we’ve been around a long time – we know as mothers ourselves that many fathers are definitely involved – my husband being one of the all stars like yourself as well). I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been struggling with your son’s sleep. I know that can be particularly challenging when you have another child to take care of during the day so your wife is unable to get a break even when the baby naps because she has to be “on” for your daughter.
      We have a ton of resources that can help. It does sound like it’s more than a regression since it’s been happening since he was 2-3 months old, but I don’t say that to scare you – we have worked with MANY families in the same situation as yours and it is possible to overcome this and get better sleep (without crying it out as well and therefore disturbing your daughter). To start, here is a link to a free guide with tips to help your baby sleep through the night: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-through-night-free-ebook/
      This guide will likely be a good place to start but because it’s a free resource, you’ll find it may not be enough for your situation (it often is for families, but is totally dependent on the situation). From there, if you would like it, we would love to walk through this with you. We have a team of sleep consultants that are ready to help you step by step through the process, and they will take into account all of the things you mentioned have been obstacles through this. To read more about our personalized consulting which I think would be hugely beneficial to you, please visit here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
      I realize you may have more questions about how it all works so please don’t hesitate to reach out. You can contact us directly anytime at [email protected]
      Thanks again for writing and we look forward to hearing from you. Hang in there!!

  2. Ray says

    Our 17-month old has always been an absolute champion sleeper. But this week she just refuses to go down without third and fourth tries. I’m concerned we are creating bad habits by going in to soothe her when we’ve never had to do this before. Is this a do-what-we-must situation and just get through it? Or should we let her cry it out and figure it out on her own?

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Ray, thanks for writing to us. I’m sorry to hear you’ve suddenly started struggling with your daughter’s sleep! If this is the 18 month sleep regression (very possible as it can come a little early than that), we generally suggest to keep things as normal as possible in order to not create bad habits. I know it’s a fine line to walk to decide how to comfort your child without becoming an enabler to their sudden revolt to sleep! Here is a link to a free guide with additional tips to help with toddler sleep that may help: https://www.babysleepsite.com/toddler-sleep-tips
      Usually regressions smooth out in a few weeks so if this persists for months and months it’s likely you’ll need to create a plan to get things back on track. If you need help with anything, we have a ton of resources and we’d love to help you as much as you need, but hopefully it doesn’t come to that! Hang in there!

  3. Jessica K says

    My 8-month-old is usually a champ sleeper. He recently dropped his last night/early morning feeding, and usually, if he wakes up in the middle of the night he soothes himself and is back to sleep within 5 minutes. However, he has just learned how to pull himself up to standing – the past few nights when he wakes up, he stands up in his crib and gets “stuck” (he hasn’t quite figured out how to sit back down without a jolt, and it scares him a little). I tried going in the lay him back down but once he sees me he gets mad if I leave without picking him up (which leads to prolonged crying – longer than I’m comfortable for “cry it out time). Picking him up to soothe him makes him want to eat and more crying if he doesn’t. So now he’s picked his middle of the night feeding back up and it is a huge ordeal.
    I’m at a loss – do I just deal with the regression until he figures out how to sit himself back down, do I let him cry it out longer and hope he’ll get tired enough to plop back down eventually, do I go in and soothe him and skip the feeding even if he cries?

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Jessica K, I am sorry you’ve been struggling recently with your son’s sleep! It can be challenging when they learn a new skill such as pulling up, but it will pass soon, probably in the next few days/weeks! With sleep regressions, just try to stay as consistent to the normal routine as possible to not build any additional bad habits that last longer than the regression. Here is a link to a free guide that may have some additional tips with help for sleeping through the night which will hopefully help: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-through-night-free-ebook/
      Hang in there and I hope this passes for you quickly!

  4. Celena Powers says

    Great article!! I have a baby that is about to turn 7 months in a week. Since the end of month 5 and all of month 6 her sleeping has changed drastically. She use to be able to sooth her self back to sleep if she woke up at night. Now she wakes up crying and won’t go back to sleep unless myself or my husband go in, pick her up, and sooth her. We try to put her back down in the crib while she’s still awake and she won’t have any of it. Side note. She’s been and is still teething. So I wonder if this is the reason why. We give her some Tylenol before she goes to bed but that still doesn’t help, because she’s waking up 4 + hrs later. We will then give her some more and we’re up for 1.5 – 2 hrs trying to get her to sleep in her crib and not in our arms. It’s not till we feed her which by the way we didn’t have to before that she’ll fall sleep in our arms and we can finally lay her down in the crib without her waking. HELP!! What is going on?

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Celena Powers – thanks for writing to us. I am so sorry to hear that you have been struggling with your 7 month old’s sleep! It can be tricky to say what exactly is happening, but I know that teething is really challenging for some babies (mine included) so it could be making a sleep issue even worse! We have a free guide to help with some tips to sleep through the night that you can download here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-through-night-free-ebook/
      I’ll also mention that while some 7 month olds can sleep through the night without a feeding, others may still need 1 feeding for a while but it will take time to figure out if she is waking because she needs to be fed or if it is a habitual waking that could be eliminated. If you need focused help with this, we can help! Our sleep consultants can look at the full situation and create a plan and offer advise specifically for her. If you are interested, you can see our offerings here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
      I hope this helps!

  5. Mary says

    My 21 month old is literally crying the entire night – nonsleep for her, my husband, or myself. She is never like this – always a 730-830 sleeper. We tried everything we could. Is there anything associated with 21 months?

    • Janelle Reid says

      @Mary – I am so sorry to hear that your daughter (and as a result, you and your husband) is not sleeping! There are no typical regressions at 21 months, but there is an 18 month and a 2 year sleep regression which she’s right in between the average age for the regressions to hit. If this is something that’s suddenly happening, is there the chance that she is not feeling well, or perhaps you have been traveling or been off schedule recently which has led to her getting over tired? It is hard to say exactly what is causing it, but I do hope your family gets some rest soon. If the problem persists, I do think you would greatly benefit from working with one of our sleep consultants so they can look at your full situation and assess it from there. If you are interested in reading about any of our packages you can do so here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
      And if you need help selecting a package please feel free to email our Client Relations team at [email protected]
      I do hope you see improvement soon! Thank you for stopping by and let us know if we can help further!