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One of the most common questions we get here at The Baby Sleep Site® is “How do I get my 9 or 10 month old baby to sleep?” and that’s the question we are answering today!
While some babies can be challenging sleepers from birth, many will go through periods where they sleep well, only to regress. What’s a sleep-deprived parent to do!? Let’s take a look at the 6 steps to help your 9 or 10 month old baby sleep.
As soon as you get your 6, 7 or 8 month old through the growth spurts, separation anxiety phase, and they were sleeping soundly in longer stretches during the night, your 9 or 10 month old may start resisting sleep, waking frequently at night and taking short naps. After you finally thought you got through the 8 month sleep regression, you are probably asking yourself what is going on?! 9 and 10 month olds are going through a rapid period of development and their brain and bodies are fundamentally changing and growing. Your 9 to 10 month old will likely be staying awake longer periods during the day, and exploring their environment like never before – you little cuddle bug has now turned into an insatiable little explorer who is always busy! As if all this wasn’t enough, your 9 to 10 old may be crawling, cruising, standing, and insist on doing it all. day. long. This can make for some challenging bedtimes and naps, and your little one may also wake up more frequently at night, as a result. We call this the 8-9-10 Month Sleep Regression.
How To Get My 9 or 10 Month Old To Sleep At-a-Glance
- Develop a consistent sleep routine
- Review your baby’s schedule
- Consider gentle sleep coaching/training
- Create a sleep plan for your family
- Gather support from your village
- Prepare for the next sleep speedbump
And, now for a few details…
1. Develop or strengthen the sleep routine for your 9 or 10 month old
Setting the environment for sleep is crucial, and part of not just letting your baby know that sleep is coming, but in continuing to set their expectations when it comes to sleep. This means to have a consistent set of steps you do before each sleep period, at night and at nap times. For parents who may not be psyched about strict routines, have no fear! It does NOT have to be a long “event.” For instance, you can shut the curtains or blinds, change your baby’s diaper, read a short book (your baby may be picking their favorites right now!), feed the baby (if appropriate), cuddle the baby or sing a lullaby for a few minutes, and then lay your baby down for sleep while saying a key phrase (e.g. “Sleepy time for baby. I love you. Night night.”). At this age, it becomes extremely important to have a very distinctive end to your routine, too. Something that is not necessarily dependent on you doing something. Turning on a crib aquarium or a musical toy that plays for a few minutes, for example, can be very helpful as they start showing the first signs of independence and try to “delay” going to sleep.
2. Review your 9 or 10 month old’s schedule
For some 9 or 10 month old babies, their sleep schedule is fundamental to helping them sleep well. Some babies are more adaptable or less sensitive and may not need a very regimented schedule, though knowing when you’ll be able to have “me” time is a must for a lot of parents! Babies this age continue to increase their awake time, and sleepy cues become a lot less reliable. Remember your little busy explorer who never quits? They might not even seem tired until they’re in the crib! For this reason, a lot of babies may even do better with a “by the clock” schedule. If you are experiencing sleep issues, I strongly recommend developing or adjusting your baby’s schedule to see what type of impact it may or may not have on your baby’s sleep. That may even be all you have to do! Some families, depending on their situation, may not be able to stick with a precise schedule as well as others, but just do your best. What type of schedule should your 9 or 10 month have? Check out our sample schedules here or make your own custom schedule!
3. Consider sleep training (or coaching) for your 9 or 10 month old
If the previous steps haven’t significantly improved your 9 or 10 month old’s sleep and you’ve downloaded our free e-Book, 5 Ways to Help Your Child Sleep through the Night, it’s likely your baby has sleep associations that need to be resolved with sleep training. Ideally, you’d get a professional assessment of your baby’s sleep challenges, but if you feel certain a dependence on parental help is part of the issue, then you may want to consider sleep coaching your 9 or 10 month old. This essentially involves helping your baby learn (or even re-learn) to fall asleep on their own, without as much help from you. You would like to change some sleep habits, or get back on track, but are not sure how to go about it. If your baby was sleeping well before, but the methods you used are no longer working, you might need to revamp your strategy.
Not sure which sleep coaching method may be best for you and your baby? Be sure to listen to my tele-seminar about sleep training strategies.
4. Create a plan for your 9 or 10 month old
If you’re considering sleep training, it’s important to figure out what to do next. Some of us are planners and others are more go with the flow. If you’re not a planner, it might be ok for you to skip this step, but if you’ve been trying to help your 9 or 10 month old sleep for some time, you’ve developed and strengthened your routine, reviewed their schedule carefully and “going with the flow” without a set strategy isn’t getting you the results you want, maybe a plan is just what you’re missing. After all, it can be hard to reach your destination without a travel plan! Make the plan as detailed as you want it, but having a step-by-step plan helps you stay on track, committed, and consistent. Not sure where to begin or need help creating your baby’s sleep plan? Consider making your own sleep plan or letting us create a Personalized Sleep Plan® for you and your baby.
5. Get support for your 9 or 10 month old’s parents (you!)
Everyone says that “it takes a village” to raise a child, but gone seem to be the days where we have a lot of help nurturing our babies. I don’t know about you, but half of my family lives more than a short drive away, and most close by relatives are busy with their family and work schedules. My husband and I were largely on our own while raising our boys. No Aunts or Grandmas to regularly feed or play with the baby while I rested, caught up with a friend or enjoyed a (hopefully hot) cup of coffee. So, getting through these sleep issues can be tough without support. We sometimes have to recruit our own village. Consider hiring a sleep consultant or asking your partner, friends, or family members to help you implement your sleep plan. Having a support system in place can make all the difference in the world in reaching your sleep goals!
6. Prepare for your 9 or 10 month old’s next speedbump
Now that you learned how to get your 9 or 10 month old to sleep, what happens next? Do you ride off into the sunset with a perfect sleeper, happily ever after? We certainly hope so! For some of you, it’s possible, but many of you will get your baby sleeping well now, only to hit another speedbump in a few weeks or months. Babies grow and change a lot in the first few years, so be prepared, and have a game plan in place, before the next sleep regression or speedbump emerges. Babies continue to go through teething, start walking, talking!, having play dates, and that can often affect sleep. In a few weeks or months, your 9 or 10 month old may take their first steps, say their first words, throw their first tantrum, and it might affect their sleep. What will you do when your baby starts waking at night, again, start missing naps or both? The #1 rule is NOT revert back to old habits as if you had never made progress in the first place. As easy as it is for babies to fall back to old habits, it’s often way too easy for us parents to do so as well. So, don’t let that happen! 🙂
So, is your 9 or 10 month old sleeping? Or, maybe it’s time to learn how to get your 11 or 12 month old sleeping?
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Lindsey Ince says
Hello, my son is 9.5 months old. I thought we were already through this sleep regression at 8 months (he was getting up 2x/night after sleeping through the night for months) but he is fighting daytime sleep hard right now. I let him fall asleep on his own, use a sound machine, dark room, do a little pre-sleep routine, wait 2.75-3 hours of wake time before putting him down, and he won’t take a pacifier. He is visibly tired, yawning, and heavy-eyed as I hold him before laying him down. He wastes up to 45 minutes standing up, crawling, playing, rolling around, but mostly moaning and crying before going to sleep. It seems to be getting worse. I will go in every 10-15 minutes, pat him on the back, have him lay back down (but not pick him up) and tell him it’s time to go to sleep. I don’t know what else I can do to help him to get to sleep quicker. Any thoughts?
Danielle says
Hi Lindsey,
Thank you for visiting The Baby Sleep Site! I’m so sorry you are dealing with this situation 🙁 It sounds like you might have some issue with your son’s schedule or a sleep association, but it’s hard to know what’s going on without more information. Have you looked at our 9 month sample sleep schedule to make sure his nap timings are similar to our recommended ones? https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/9-month-old-baby-schedule/
If you continue to have trouble, I would urge you to consider a sleep consultation so you can work with one of our sleep consultants directly. She could look at your son’s schedule, your routine, and how he’s falling asleep and help you with any issues. Hang in there!
shelley says
My 10 month old naps well and falls asleep well at bedtime. The routine is PJs, books, cuddles/rocking for about 2/3 minutes, in crib almost asleep. But for the last 2 weeks he wakes 2-4 hours after bedtime and takes 2 hours of rocking, rubbing, patting, sit on his floor ignoring him, and anything else we can think of to go back to sleep. He whines while we try to soothe and screams of we leave the room. Finally when he is exhausted he will lie down. I don’t know what else to try to get him back to sleep faster, and ultimately sleep through the night again. He wakes at 7am, naps at 10am and 2pm, with bedtime at 7pm.
Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says
Hi @Shelley – Thank you for visiting us. I’m sorry to hear your son is having trouble sleeping. We can definitely understand how tough those long awake times in the night are! We do see some sleep issues come up often at around 10 months, but two weeks of these long hours spent trying to get him back to sleep in the night are surely wearing on you! If things do not smooth out soon, it may be time for more help – I think you could benefit from one of our Personalized Sleep Consultation packages, where we will work with you on a detailed plan – one that you can commit to and feel good about. All of our e-mail packages come with a Personalized Sleep Plan, which is a detailed guide written just for your family given your sleep history you share with us. if you have any sleep logs, send those to your consultant too – she will be happy to help get to the bottom of these wakings, and help you through it.
You can read about all of our sleep consultation packages here:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/services/
Hope things improve soon Shelley! Please contact us if you need any assistance at any time!