Hi Elli,
Thank you so much for your comment here! Cry it out is a hard method and I think a lot of parents feel guilt about it, but it’s important to think of the future and remember why you’re doing it – so everyone can sleep more and be happier and healthier! I hope you had continued success with it. Good luck!

Thanks for this article! We’re on day 3 of cry it out. The previous routine of pick up put down just wasn’t working for our boy, and already us parents are feeling more rested and our boy is actually crying less and sleeping more now he’s crying it out! So I think this method will be right for us. Still my usually happy boy is cranky the past two days and I have major feelings of guilt this article is a great reminder to take a deal breath because it’s going to be ok!

I don’t know when this was posted. But thank you for coming back and adding the thoughtful response above. I’m in the middle of teaching my baby to sleep and it’s HARD. From birth to 6mo I responded to every whimper. I was my babys preferred source of comfort. And at that age, I was perfectly okay with that. Now at almost 7mo, it’s wearing me down and I have a baby who is so reliant on me to sleep. It was a hard decision to try to sleep train (gentle versions were tried and were not successful). This has not changed my presence during the day however. I am still as attentive and loving, and it hurt to read above that letting my baby cry for 20 min (the length of a shower) would doom my baby for the rest of her life. So I say again, thank you for reposting. Also- everyone has different goals when they sleep train. My goal is to give my baby a chance to figure it out on her own and realize she’s safe even when not in my arms. A baby who protests the minute she leaves your arms can be a lot at times.

Hi Nikki,
Thanks so much for reading the Baby Sleep Site! I’m so glad to hear that the article was helpful for you. It can be really tough being a first-time parent with a baby who doesn’t sleep particularly well (I have been there!), so I hope you’ve been able to use some of our resources and will start seeing the results of your sleep coaching efforts soon! Please get in touch if you ever need more support, and hang in!

@Marija, Wow! Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry you had to experience that, as a mother myself, I cannot imagine. I am glad though, that you decided to take new perspective from something scary happening, that is quite inspiring.
Sleep training is definitely tough, and each baby and parent have different needs in the process. I hope you find the right fit for you and your baby!
Thank you again for your comment and using the Baby Sleep Site as a resource for sleep!

So, what I realized then is that baby sometimes needs to cry if it is good for her in the long run. It was a shocking lesson for me to become more responsible parent. It does not mean that I love my baby less if I let him cry so he can learn how to sleep so he can become healthier,happier toddler. You people need to take responsibility and stop judging others before you walk in their shoes.

I am trying Ferber’s method for 2nd night and it is not easy, but I believe that in the long run- tears will be forgotten, but better sleep for happier baby will be priceless.

@CaringMom and @Evidence-BasedMom (one in the same) Thank you for your take on the CIO debate. I know it’s a hot topic and there is a lot of contradicting information out there. I read through the “evidence” (though 3 of the links did not work) and I, personally, am still not convinced. Yes, I agree that systematic abuse or neglect will alter a baby forever, but I don’t know why CIO is lumped into that. There are many variations of CIO or what it means to people. I, personally, rarely recommend a family go to bed, close the door, and not go in until morning, for example. There are many different types of babies, different ages, different family dynamics, different histories, etc. To blanket statement that any ONE thing is not right for ALL cases is very rigid thinking.

Is it better to run stop signs because you are so tired than teach your baby to sleep?
Is it better to be so tired during the day that you can’t even engage your child?
Is it better to not even have the energy to talk to your child and teach them on a daily basis?
What if it’s a choice between 10 minutes of crying or getting up EVERY hour all night, EVERY night?

Of course, we can’t predict these things or that it will “only” take 10 minutes, but the point I’m making is that not all sleep training is for our convenience. Who can be a good mom getting up every hour all night? I have helped more people than I can count with non-crying solutions to their sleep problems, but I do not judge parents for a decision they need to make for their own family, if it’s not in line with my thinking. We all want what’s best for our children. I did not *think* my son was happier with more sleep, I *knew* it. And, at 5 years old, it is still a big part of him. If he does not get enough sleep, we all suffer because of how cranky he is. Our family is MUCH more stressed. No one would probably “get” that but us, though. We can see a totally different boy in front of us when he sleeps enough.

To imply that all families who practice attachment parenting will have non-depressed, non-anxious children is very judgmental. I’m sure you can find families everywhere with ALL different types of philosophies with good things and not-so-good things going on there. It is unfair to try to tell parents that this ONE aspect of a parenting decision is going to doom their baby FOREVER. If a mom accidentally forgot to turn on the monitor and her baby cried one night, is she doomed to have a depressed baby for the rest of their lives? Absolutely not. It is the day-in, day-out care we give our children that forms who they will grow up to be.

Cry it out is not about ignoring your baby’s NEEDS, so it is always interesting when people imply that it means you never go to your baby at night ever again. It’s about knowing your baby and knowing that he NEEDS something versus having a bad habit of waking for something he doesn’t “need.” To go back to the evolutionary standpoint, there are many things we do in current times that are not the same as way back when. If all I had to do was pick berries all day, life would be really different and in many different ways, not just sleep. Just because it might not make sense from an evolutionary standpoint, why does that make it wrong now? A lot of things would not apply to our caveman days that do apply today. We are forever evolving. And, lots of cultures have different things that make sense to them that might not make sense to us just like our sleep training might not make sense to other cultures. In some cultures, for example, boys go off to become warriors at a young age when some 30 year olds still live at home in our culture (American, that is).

As I said, different situations warrant different parenting decisions and just because a person can’t understand another’s does not make it wrong. Thanks again for commenting!

EARLY BRAIN DEVELOPMENT
What parents and caregivers need to know!
by Phyllis Porter, M.A.
http://www.educarer.com/brain.htm

The Dangers of Leaving Your Baby to Cry
By Margaret Chuong-Kim, M.A.
http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html

Science Says: Excessive Crying Could Be Harmful to Babies
Dr Sears
http://askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

The Emotional Infant Brain
Part 1: The developing emotional subsystems of the brain process various information, including how to relate the state of the world with Expectations.
http://www.fresnofamily.com/articles/aa040100a.htm

Children Need Touching and Attention, Harvard Researchers Say
By Alvin Powell
http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1…enNeedTou.html