You may have heard of the Ferber Method of sleep training babies, also known as Ferberizing or Ferberization. This sleep coaching method comes from Dr. Richard Ferber’s book, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems.

Dr. Ferber’s method is very structured and provides a clear path for parents to follow. For those of us who need specific guidelines, this method can work well. If you choose to Ferberize your baby or toddler, you are in good company!

Ferberization can be very effective if parents approach is empathetically. We’ve seen many babies make great strides in improving their sleep relatively quickly. As with any sleep coaching method, though, preparing appropriately is an important first step. To help make sure you and your little one are on the path for success, we recommend your do these 5 things before you Ferberize your baby:

1. Get a clean bill of health
2. Optimize your baby’s schedule
3. Develop consistent bedtime and naptime routines
4. Set the stage to Ferberize
5. Get support during Ferberization

1. Get a clean bill of health (for your baby AND for you!):

It is always best to get a clean bill of health from your child’s doctor before changing their routine in a big way, like starting sleep training. This will allow you to put your mind at rest and give you the chance to evaluate and address any medical issues. Since there are some medical conditions that can cause or contribute to sleep issues, including food allergies, reflux and sleep apnea, it is always best to rule these out before embarking on sleep training.

Your health is important too, and sleep training a baby is no easy task! So make sure that you are well enough to guide your baby through this journey.

2. Optimize your baby’s schedule:

We do talk about baby sleep schedules A LOT, that is true. But, this is because they are very important! Trying to sleep train a baby who is not tired enough to sleep is no easy task, and sleep training an overtired baby may be even worse. So, it’s key to fine tune your baby’s schedule and make sure that you get as close to their “goldilocks zone” as possible.

For some families, it can be really helpful to keep a sleep log for a week so you can track your little one’s sleep patterns. If you continue to keep the log during the coaching process, you can also see where your little one’s sleep has improved!

3. Develop consistent bedtime and naptime routines:

If you haven’t developed a sleep routine already, this a great time to start! Babies and young children thrive on routines. Offering predictable steps you do every time before sleep will go a long way towards building the consistency your baby needs to learn to sleep independently.

Routines don’t have to be a long, drawn-out process, and it’s perfectly fine to keep it simple. It is the predictability which will help to set your baby’s expectations. Check out this article for tips on creating your ideal sleep routine.

4. Set the stage to Ferberize:

Setting up the perfect sleep space won’t be a magic bullet to getting your baby to sleep, but it is important to plan out your strategy, and have some tools to help you along the way.

For example, if you have older children and are worried that your little one may wake them or vice-versa, you may want to consider white noise machines for everyone. If you are worried about staying consistent when your little one is crying, invest in a video baby monitor so you are able to see them during the coaching. If you are planning on adding a musical toy like an aquarium or mobile to your routine, this is the time to introduce it.

5. Get support during Ferberizing:

In our 10+ years of experience working directly with tens of thousands of families, we know consistency is the most difficult part of sleep coaching. I recently spoke with a mom who was able to make a lot of progress with her daughter’s sleep at bedtime using the Ferber method! Unfortunately, she was not able to reach all of her goals because she was too tired to stay consistent during the rest of the night!

I know that a lot of us don’t have family nearby, but this is the time to reach out to your support team – your village. Being able to stay consistent during the training process will determine whether you are able to succeed in reaching your goals. So, get your spouse or partner or dearest friend on board, and make sure everyone knows their parts.

If you have a demanding job, consider taking a few days off, or if you have another child to take care of, see if grandparents or aunts can help for a day or two. This is the time to reach out to your village! And if you ever feel stuck or unsure, we have an amazing team of expert sleep consultants right here. We love each and every family we work with and feel privileged being an extension of your village.

Have you Ferberized your baby? Please share your experiences below – we love hearing from you!

The post 5 Things To Do Before You Ferberize Your Baby appeared first on The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants.

If you have been with The Baby Sleep Site® for some time, or if you have just found our sleepy little village, you know that what sets us apart is our belief that nothing works better for baby sleep than a truly individualized approach. We don’t believe there is one method of coaching that will work for everyone. No “one-size-fits-all” solutions here! Your parenting philosophy, your child’s temperament, and your unique situation will best determine what sleep coaching style will fit best. And, it may change along the way, too! If “Cry-it-Out” is not for you, but “No-Cry” methods are not a great fit, either, Controlled Crying may be the answer. Today we will talk about controlled crying, and 5 reasons why it may be the best fit for you and your little one.

With controlled crying, (also known as Ferberizing and check and console), you essentially allow your child to fuss and cry at bedtime or at the start of a nap (or after a night waking or a too-early nap waking), but you plan to check in with your child at regular intervals. Sounds pretty straight forward, right? Here are 5 reasons why controlled crying would be the best sleep coaching method for you.

1. You Want a Method That’s Flexible
Your little one is waking up many times a night, or taking tiny naps, and you are both exhausted. You know that you need to begin sleep coaching, but you don’t know where to start. With controlled crying, you can set the rules to work for you and your child. One of the main benefits of this method, is that you can start as gradually as you like. For example, you can choose to be in the room during the entire sleep training process, or leave during the intervals. You can start with intervals as short as 2-3 minutes, or as long as 10 or more minutes. You can also choose how much soothing you provide when you check on your child. This can be a brief reassurance with only your voice or little to no touching, to completely calming them down with picking up and hugging. You can also try different approaches to see what works best for your individual needs.

2. Your Little One is Persistent
When we sleep coached our oldest daughter, I spent months trying to help her adapt to gentle, no-cry sleep methods. But despite my best efforts, she persisted for hours each time, and seemed to cry anyway! I know many parents out there with strong willed little ones know what I mean. With a persistent child, if mom is right there providing soothing, but what the child really wants is to nurse, or to be held, for example, nothing else will do, and there will be fussing and crying no matter how much gentle soothing you try to provide. So, in these situations, sometimes the best thing to do is to simply give your child some space to learn independently. You might be surprised it may mean less tears in the long run!

3. You Have a Full Plate
I know what you’re thinking – which parent doesn’t have a full plate? I know, you are right! Some of us are working parents with babies or toddlers in daycare, and even if you aren’t, we are performing multi-tasking feats that would put any circus juggler to shame. It’s true. But for some parents, gentle, no-cry methods would be simply impossible. I found this out when our second baby was born. Spending an hour or more sleep coaching could potentially mean ignoring your other child for that entire time completely! Can you imagine sitting crib-side nap coaching your baby for an hour while your 2 or 3 year old has the run of the house? With controlled crying you can check on your baby periodically, while still ensuring your 3 year old didn’t glitter glue the dogs’ ears together. 😉

4. You Need Results, Fast!
Yes, we would all love to be sleeping through the night and have a champion napper with just 24 hours of effort. Who doesn’t want results fast?! However, we work with a lot of parents for whom chronic sleep deprivation simply isn’t an option. There is no question that all of us are healthier, smarter, and more alert with optimum sleep. For some, being tired could be downright dangerous! So, if you are one of our families where a parent has to drive a work vehicle the next morning, or be in surgery at 7:00 am sharp, you will want a sleep coaching method that provides quicker results.

5. Your Perceptive Child Won’t Fall Asleep While You’re in the Room!
A lot of parents tell us that they don’t want to leave their baby in the room alone to cry. It’s not easy, we understand. We have also realized that there are many children who simply won’t fall asleep with a parent in the room. If they do, it will be hours later and they will already be overtired! Some babies, especially perceptive babies, seem to endlessly want to interact with a caregiver, and do anything and everything except focus on going to sleep. If you have been sleep coaching, but your little one simply seems to be distracted or frustrated by your presence – “why aren’t you rocking me to sleep mom?,” controlled crying is likely a good fit for you.

So, there you have 5 reasons controlled crying may be the right sleep coaching method for you and your family. If you aren’t sure, we’re happy to hear your background and help you figure it out!

Are you considering using controlled crying to help your child learn to sleep independently? Have you used controlled crying as a sleep coaching method? We love to hear from you!

The post Controlled Crying – 5 Reasons Why This Could Be The Best Coaching Method For Your Child appeared first on The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants.

Sleep training, or teaching your baby healthy sleep habits, can be confusing and frustrating. One of the most popular sleep training methods is The Ferber Method, also known as Ferberizing or graduated extinction. This method involves letting your baby cry at increasingly longer intervals until they are sleeping through the night and taking longer naps. Here’s everything you need to know about this sleep training method.

What is The Ferber Method?

The Ferber Method was developed by Dr. Richard Ferber, the director of The Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders, at Children’s Hospital Boston to help your child learn to sleep better. The method is outlined in detail in his book, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems but if you don’t have time to read a book with 464 pages, here’s everything you need to know about Ferberizing.

This method is designed to help teach your baby or toddler how to self-soothe, sleep in longer stretches or through the night, and take longer naps. The main difference between this method and Cry-It-Out (or Extinction when you stay out of the room completely) is that you support your baby or toddler during the learning process by visiting them at increasing intervals for a period of time. I will outline a couple of example sessions below in more detail.

FREE E-Book: 5 Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night

Age to Use The Ferber Method

The best age for The Ferber Method is around 6 months old before your baby is sitting up and standing up. However, you want to wait until you stop swaddling your baby.

Some families start at 4 months old during the 4-month sleep regression while others wait until over a year old. There isn’t a “right” or “wrong” time and you know your baby best! However, I generally do NOT recommend The Ferber Method for babies younger than 3-4 months old. Of course, every situation is different and there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach that will work for everyone.

You may also be interested in:

• Sleep Regressions
• 5 Things to Do Before Sleep Training
• Top 15 Reasons Why Baby Is Waking At Night

How Does The Ferber Method Work?

First, as with any sleep training method, you start by laying a healthy foundation for sleep. This means going through your pre-sleep training checklist, making any necessary changes to your baby’s sleep and feeding schedule, and having a way to keep track of the time. I cannot emphasize enough how the right schedule will make sleep training so much easier (and sometimes avoids sleep training altogether!).

Once you’ve laid the groundwork, you can start Ferberizing. Here’s the step-by-step process:

1. Do your bedtime routine ending with a consistent phrase or song.
2. Lay your baby or toddler down drowsy but awake.
3. Leave the room (or sit in a chair if you prefer to try to stay in the room).
4. If your child starts to cry, start your timer. If your child is not crying, no need to start the timer.
5. Once the timer goes off, go check-in and offer comfort. Be sure to stop soothing and/or leave while your child is still awake.
6. Repeat the check-in and comfort process with different intervals until your baby or toddler falls asleep.

But, what intervals should you use?

Which intervals to use can depend a lot on your baby’s intensity, how persistent they are, and your comfort level with crying. Some babies fuss a little while others scream their heads off. The book suggests starting with intervals at 3 minutes, 5 minutes, then 10 minutes. And, each day/night you are supposed to increase each of those intervals by 3-5 minutes. Here are a couple of examples for different temperament babies:

Mild-mannered Easy-going baby

• Day 1 – Check 1: 3 minutes, Check 2: 5 minutes, Check 3+: 10 minutes
• Day 2 – Check 1: 5 minutes, Check 2: 8 minutes, Check 3+: 12 minutes
• Day 3 – Check 1: 8 minutes, Check 2: 12 minutes, Check 3+: 15 minutes
• Day 4 – Check 1: 10 minutes, Check 2: 15 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes
• Day 5 – Check 1: 12 minutes, Check 2: 18 minutes, Check 3+: 25 minutes
• Day 6 – Check 1: 15 minutes, Check 2: 20 minutes, Check 3+: 25 minutes
• Day 7 – Check 1: 20 minutes, Check 2: 25 minutes, Check 3+: 30 minutes

Intense Spirited Baby

• Day 1 – Check 1: 3 minutes, Check 2: 5 minutes, Check 3+: 8 minutes
• Day 2 – Check 1: 5 minutes, Check 2: 8 minutes, Check 3+: 10 minutes
• Day 3 – Check 1: 8 minutes, Check 2: 10 minutes, Check 3+: 12 minutes
• Day 4 – Check 1: 10 minutes, Check 2: 15 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes
• Day 5 – Check 1: 12 minutes, Check 2: 18 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes
• Day 6 – Check 1: 15 minutes, Check 2: 18 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes
• Day 7 – Check 1: 15 minutes, Check 2: 18 minutes, Check 3+: 20 minutes

Why does this work?

The idea is that you are supporting your child as they learn a new skill. Just like they will fall on their bottom many times before actually learning to walk, they will have some failures until they succeed. By allowing them time to self-soothe, you are breaking the habit of them needing you to put them to sleep.

You may also be interested in:

• Baby Temperament Series
• Baby Temperament Quiz

How Long Does The Ferber Method Take?

Generally speaking, most babies will cry for an hour or less but there are a few persistent babies who cry for longer periods (1-2 hours) the first 2-3 nights. Many people will start to see progress within 3-4 nights though that doesn’t mean you will be “done.” If your baby is crying for over an hour for more than two nights, consider reevaluating your schedule or addressing the 5 things we recommend you do before you Ferberize.

I typically recommend being consistent for at least 1-2 weeks since it takes time to make new habits and every day might be a little different with your schedule and other variables.

If you’ve been sleep training for more than two weeks, that would be cause for us to look into other reasons your baby is crying for long periods of time. Keep in mind that some babies will continue to cry for a few minutes (5-10 at the most) long-term. Anything more than that, and I’d say it isn’t working.

You may also be interested in:

• 5 Reasons Sleep Training Might Not Be Working
• 11 Cry It Out Do’s and Don’ts
• How to Know if You’re Done Sleep Training

What About Night Feedings?

In the book, Dr. Ferber says to NOT feed your baby at night after 3-4 months old. Keep in mind that, based on my 13+ years of experience as a sleep consultant working with families personally, when a baby can sleep all night without feedings varies significantly especially if you are breastfeeding. Therefore, if you plan to implement The Ferber Method exactly as outlined without night feedings, then I recommend you wait until your baby is capable of going 11-12 hours without consuming milk. Many families can still use The Ferber Method even continuing to feed at night once or twice, though.

You may also be interested in:

• Night Feedings By Age
• 3 Signs It May Be Time For Night Weaning
• Is Your Baby Ready to Night Wean? Quiz

What About Naps? Are Those Different?

Day and night sleep are handled by two different parts of the brain, so we typically address naps separately from nighttime sleep. The main difference with using The Ferber Method for naps is we put a limit of one hour to the sleep training session. If your baby hasn’t fallen asleep, we typically take a 1-hour break and then try again. Different babies need different approaches but this works for the majority of situations.

Nap training often does take longer than nights, though. Plan to commit to two weeks of consistency for optimum results.

You may also be interested in:

• Cry It Out for Naps? Here’s What You Need to Know
• Nap Sleep Training: How and When
• 7 Common Napping Mistakes (FREE E-Book)

What About Separation Anxiety and Is This Method Flexible?

Definitely! The best sleep training methods are those that you can adapt to fit your needs and circumstances. You can increase or decrease the amount of time between your check-ins as needed. You can also use the same check-in intervals for several days at a time, for example.

Babies go through peaks and valleys for separation anxiety beginning around 7 months old. If you are concerned your baby is going through a peak, consider waiting to sleep train, having shorter intervals, or consider sleep training while staying in the room. You can implement this same method by sitting on a chair in the room.

Be aware, however, that some children get really frustrated if their parents stay in the room during sleep training. It can be very confusing to have mom or dad so close by but not offer comfort or put the baby to sleep. Of course, the check-ins allow you to reassure your baby periodically, teaching them that whenever you leave, you come back, which is the primary reason for separation anxiety in the first place.

Finally, HOW you offer comfort during your check-ins is flexible, too. Some families prefer to soothe just with their voices, while other families will pat their babies’ heads, rub their backs, etc. Other families prefer to pick their children up briefly. All of these can work, provided you don’t inadvertently end up putting your child to sleep during one of your check-ins That’s what your child is supposed to be doing on her own! The key is to find the right approach for your baby. The first few nights are usually the worst no matter what strategy you choose.

Is The Ferber Method Harmful?

In general, The Ferber Method is considered safe and not harmful to your baby. Crying for small durations of time with periodic reassurance from parents will not cause long-lasting damage. However, keep in mind that it is important to be “fixing” the right problem.

There are many reasons a baby wakes at night and letting a baby cry for many hours when he is hungry or sick would NOT be the right thing to do. There is a difference between letting a 4-month-old cry to get him to sleep 12 hours without eating when some 4-month-olds still need two nighttime feedings versus a 12-month-old waking every hour simply to be held at night and everything in between.

I strongly recommend that you view your baby’s sleep from a holistic perspective and ensure you are setting her up for success. You should look at the entire daytime schedule, feedings, health, etc. Lay the proper foundation and sometimes very little crying is necessary to help her sleep through the night!

The Ferber Method: Making It Personal

This article offers a general overview of how the Ferber method works – but putting this sleep training method into practice may be tough indeed! Many families wonder how to cope with the crying and fussing between check-in intervals, or how long to do the check-in process each night. If you want a more personalized approach to The Ferber Method, we can give you just that. Connect with one of our expert consultants; she’ll walk you through every step of sleep training and will provide detailed answers to your most pressing sleep training questions.

Purchase a sleep consulting package today, and connect with your expert sleep consultant!

Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information. You’ll be able to log in and get started immediately!

The post The Ferber Method Explained – Age to Use, Separation Anxiety, and Is It Harmful? appeared first on The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants.