Comments on: Sibling Series Part 1: Do You Have Another Baby After a Horrible Sleeper?

By: Debbye

Debbye — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 03:22:23 +0000

Hi Bernadett,
Thanks for sharing your story! As mother of one pretty bad sleeper, and one horrible sleeper… I do not blame you for being apprehensive! At least you have experience now to handle it again, and an awesome website/support system here to get you through it should you decide to roll the “baby sleep” dice again!
Best wishes!

By: Bernadett

Bernadett — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 02:28:15 +0000

I want to start by saying I love this article and it reminds me of my fears. My daughter was a terrible sleeper from the moment we took her home, she was awake more often than any other newborn I had heard of and most people always said they’d never seen a newborn awake so often lol, she did sleep all night like around 8 wks old but would wake up to barely eat but would stay up for 3-4 hrs and just wouldnt go back to sleep! She did this abt 4 nights a wk till she was abt 2 1/2, and whats worse is if she napped for the simplest of 5 min she wouldnt go to sleep for another 3-4 hrs… The funny thing is that most people dont believe me when It tell my story but god do I wish it wasnt true lol now shes 4 and sleep 10 -12 hrs a night so althought my husband really wants another baby and I would love to as well its just idk if I can deal with another baby with her sleeping habits.

By: Debbye

Debbye — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 00:15:22 +0000

@ Debbie- It is kind of a “chicken or the egg” problem. It sounds like your baby may be ready to transition to 2 naps, this may help him sleep a little more in the night, but he’s too tired to make it on 2 naps! I would try to gently switch him to 2 naps. Give up the last nap as you slowly move the first nap a little later every day (or every other day or whatever works for you). This may be enough, but if not..
Once you have him on 2 naps, if his bedtime is still too early, and he is waking too early, then you can shift the schedule making everything shift forward to get a later bedtime and later wake up time.
Here is a link to a sample schedule to use for reference:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/9-month-old-baby-schedule/
And… you may know this already, but room darkening blinds/curtains really do help sometimes to get a few more “winks.”
Good luck!!!

@ Anna- Thanks for sharing what works for you! Many parents do find that a (especially nutritious) snack before bed does help their little ones sleep better. Best wishes!

By: Debbie

Debbie — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:02:24 +0000

Anna, thanks for your response. I feel fairly comfortable in saying that he eats well enough during the day with solids though. I may try to increase a bit but I also don’t want to overstuff him, lol! When we did the cold turkey weaning at night is when he started sleeping straight through from 7:30ish to 5:30ish. It was such a huge change from waking 1-3 times a night so I didn’t worry too much about 5:30. If he could just get to 6 or 6:30 for me!! Since he wakes early, he naps at 7 for 1.5 hrs or a little less, at 11 for 30 min to an hour, and 3ish for 30 min to an hour. He just doesn’t go long before he gives me cues that he is ready to be put down. So not sure how to approach this. I still nurse him during the day whenever he wants and before bed, though he goes to bed awake. I guess I’m afraid of another b/c of the exhaustion and how to juggle a new baby with that and a toddler. How do I get one to nap when I have another baby on my arms?! Can’t wait for her article! Would love Nicole’s thoughts on my son!

By: Anna

Anna — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 04:16:56 +0000

Hi Debbie,
not sure if you’d like what I found with my son, but see if it fits in with your routine and if both of you are ready. My son was nursed for 16 months and from about 11 months onwards just during the night and so depending on his solid food intake during the day he would wake me up during the night 1 to 6 times and then wanted his last milk around 5am and then would get up for the day. Once I decided I can’t keep getting up so many time a night, we gave it up – cold turkey and it took about a week – making toasts at 1, 2, 3 am and still getting up around 5am. After that my son worked out that it’s better to eat properly at dinner and have a snack after bath time (before brushing teeth) and finally got to sleep through the night still waking up early for another week or so. Now at 18 months he sleeps 12 hrs straight. So the bottom line in our case was to increase solids during the day to help him get through the night.

By: Debbie

Debbie — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 21:09:27 +0000

I have definitely been struggling with the idea of baby #2. My son is 10.5 months old and only started sleeping through the night at 9 months when I did some rigid sleep training. I decided to do it because he had shown me on rare occassions that he *could* sleep all night. Now he sleeps from around 7:30-5:30. Because of his early wake-up, we still have 3 naps. I don’t know what to do about the early wake-up time. I’ve tried nursing him back down but it only worked a few days so I gave up. He seems like he can only have 2.5-3 hours of wakefulness. Any ideas on the early wake-up would be greatly appreciated! I am so afraid to try again but I know its better for our family since my hubby deploys.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 17:00:30 +0000

In reply to Wendi.

@Wendi I think the first few months are definitely the most exhausting… and really the first year and then you start to see the light and how people can have more than one. 😀 I’m glad knowing others have the same doubts helps you feel not alone. You are definitely not alone as I have parents ask me sometimes about this and why I thought it would be a good topic. Thanks for sharing!

@Ems I agree! Since my husband and I were “older” we didn’t want to wait too long, either. Congratulations on your new baby! 🙂 I hope you are able to have help in those early weeks. That would help a lot. Good luck and thanks for commenting!

@Mariana Congratulations on having your second! I hope your second is a much better sleeper like mine, too! 🙂

@Jen B That is a silver lining! I often think that parents who are used to getting a lot of sleep and then having a difficult sleeper likely have an even harder time adjusting, so I agree with you. Hopefully, your second will be a champion sleeper! Good luck! 🙂

@Heather You are definitely right that nothing is forever. I think of families with 4 kids and wonder how they go thorough 8 years of sleep deprivation, though! 😀 Well, potentially 8 years. 😉

@Ellen Thank you! 🙂 When your toddler is waking that definitely makes those first few months with a newborn MUCH more difficult. Yes, I’m planning to do a couple of articles on how to juggle more than one child and differing sleep needs. Challenging indeed and, of course, you can only do the best you can in some respects. Thank you for commenting!

@Wendy You’re right about that. Good luck!!

@Anna I’m so sorry for your multiple losses. 🙁 It is hard with the daily dramas of an 18 month to 3 year old. 🙂 They can be soooo cute and soooo frustrating at the same time. My husband was always adamant about two and I was always open to 2, maybe 3, but then 2 seemed really good. LOL My friend’s husband was intent on just one for a really really long time and they just had an “oops” and are expecting another when their eldest is now 6! 🙂 I hope your husband comes around, if you do decide you want another. I know it’s hard with the losses. Good luck to you!

@Alex Oh I’m so sorry your second ended up being harder and even the first was tough! 🙁 I don’t blame you for deciding you can’t do it again. That’s how we felt. Although my second was easier, it still wasn’t “easy” per se, so we just didn’t see going through that first year all over again and still have the energy and attention for our first two. Thanks for sharing!

@Carolina Oh I remember those yo-yo feelings. One day it’s so manageable and then the next is so challenging. Good luck in your decision! I know it’s a hard one, sometimes, and it’s such a personal decision to make. You will know. 🙂 We wanted our spaced about 2 years apart, too. Too long and the kids are in such different places in their lives. Even 2 years is a lot sometimes. My 5 year old just can’t grasp why my 3 year old doesn’t grasp some things. 😀 We didn’t want to feel like we were starting ALL the way over, but there are pros and cons to different age gaps, I’m sure. Older kids can help more with the baby, too, so that seems like a plus. I know you’ll figure it out. 🙂 Good luck!

By: Carolina Campos

Carolina Campos — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 16:17:18 +0000

I found your site after trying to put my 9 month baby girl arround 5 hours and even at that time I used to think I wanted more than 2. Now that she is almost 2 years, somedays I feel like I don’t want more kids but next day I want 4 and have a big and happy family.

My husband have always said he wants 3. I don’t know yet what to do and my biggest fear is to leave a big gap between my first and second!

By: Alex

Alex — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 15:45:10 +0000

I always knew I wanted at least 2 and used to think I wanted 3, however we have decided 2 is enough. My first son was a bad sleeper, but he got slighlty better after the year mark when we did a bit of cc, he didn’t sleep through until he was 2 though and every so often will go through a bad patch of either waking early or nightmares etc, but he goes to bed really well. I truely thought that i would get lucky second time round as you never get two the same right? Well that is right because Oliver my second son is a worse sleeper *sigh* at almost a year we co-sleep. He goes in his cot around 7 ish and will wake twice usualy before I go to bed at 10 ish and bring him in with me. He will then wake once or twice for a feed. I must admit that it has put me off having another I dont think I could cope with another bad sleeper.

By: Anna

Anna — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 10:41:33 +0000

Great topic! I always knew I wanted more than 1 child – no specific number. My husband was reluctant to have our #1, then he came around and even though we had some issues with #1 it didn’t stop us from falling pregnant after 13 month, I lost it and then lost another. Now #1 is 18 months and frustration on all sides is setting in, the only good thing is that # one is finaly sleeping 11-12hrs straight, but my husband is back to saying no kids due to the daily dramas. As I’m still recovering from the loss, it’s difficult to see how things will work out but the topic is on my mind a lot. Thank you for pointing out the pros and cons!